Jacob and Renesmee - Can't I Love You?
by don'tforgetrubymoon98
Summary: Jacob has been in love with Renesmee since she had matured. He's been mastering the courage to confess his feelings for her. But a year had gone by and Renesmee had met someone else. Can they save their love? Sadness, rejection and pain on both sides. Will it be too late to save this love?
1. Prologue

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Prologue**: We Were Meant For Each Other, Weren't We? Not.

My name is Jacob Black. I've been completely in love with Renesmee, a vampire- human hybrid ever since the day she was born. Of course I didn't love her like that when she was young. But these past few years she's been more of a mature age so I've passed the phase of being her brother/protector. How did my life get here?

I always thought that imprinting guaranteed we'd be together. But it was never like that. I knew she had the right to choose someone else, its just I didn't think she would. I mean, what kind of girl doesn't love that soul mate thing, the guarantee that you're with the person who's completely perfect for you. Edward never liked the idea of the possibility of Nessie and me together. Bella supported it after a while and Edward warmed up to the idea when Nessie was more mature.

Before I met Renesmee I was in love with her mother, Bella. But turns out Nessie and me were like fate. I no longer see Bella that way. During her pregnancy we were drawn to each other and I didn't understand until I imprinted on Nessie. Turns out I was drawn to Nessie and not Bella.

Nessie. She has beautiful, light skin that glows naturally. Her hair hangs perfectly, with nice bronze curls and her chocolate brown eyes just like when Bella's eyes when she was still human. I'm so glad those weren't lost. Nessie had a special ability to show people what she was thinking ever since she was born and break people's shields. Over the years it progressed and she has the ability to persuade people to do things. Like mind control, only not that dominant. Also she gained the ability to manipulate her thoughts, it comes in handy with Edward so she can pretend to be thinking something when she's thinking of something else. When we met Nahuel he told us that his kind usually matured within 7 years give or take a year. It took Nessie 8 years to look like a mature 18 year old.

Imprinting. It's complicated. I had no choice but feel this way. I couldn't fight this feeling; every time I saw her, my heart skipped a beat. The first time I felt this about Nessie, something big had happened to my heart, I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. It was something I couldn't control. I had high hopes, always thinking _does she feel the same? _Every time I was apart from her, it hurt my heart so bad and every time I couldn't see her I missed her already.

I waited eight years for this, for her to mature. But she didn't choose me.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:** Crap! Another Filthy Bloodsucker…

Ever since Nessie started maturing my feelings for her transitioned from friend to a lover. I've felt this way for a while now

The Cullens and I moved to Hanover to start high school and some college. Me, Nessie, Alice and Jasper attended Academy High School while Rosalie, Emmett, Bella and Edward attended Dartmouth. Esme stayed at home and Carlisle worked at the hospital.

Before home for me was a small flat in La Push, living with my dad Billy and having some of my greatest family moments with my him. Last year he passed away from lung cancer and I've missed him ever since. He never got to see his grandchild, Keegan. My sister Rachel was 7 months pregnant with Keegan when dad died. I've grieved with them for a couple of months and when the Cullens decided to move I decided to move with them. I couldn't bear to lose Nessie, after I lost my dad. Our home now is a huge white double story house with ivy growing over it like a cascade of beautiful vines.

Carlisle was pestering us to make sure that we remember who we are pretending to be, a new identity in a way.

"Has everyone got their story straight?" Carlisle asked for the third time.

"Yes." we all answered.

"Let me just make sure. Nessie and Edward, you're brother and sister and Esme and I adopted you when we were in England" Carlisle told us. It makes sense that they would be related as Nessie has similar face to Edward and that same bronze hair with beautiful curls.

"Rosalie and Jasper you're twins and your parents died in a car crash and I'm your uncle. Jacob you're Esme's nephew and your family died when you were young and Esme was your only family. Emmett and Bella, you are cousins staying with us to attend Dartmouth and you're my…

"Niece and nephew." Bella and Emmett replied.

"Yes! And Alice you're Esme's goddaughter and your parents died…" Carlisle started.

"My mother died giving birth and my father died in a fire, he was a fireman." Alice answered clearly, without missing anything.

"Correct," Carlisle said assured, "Good luck with tomorrow.

I walked up to Renesmee. Tears flowed down her slightly flushed cheeks. She seemed so excited to start high school; I wondered what could be wrong. All her life she couldn't attend a school because she was growing at a fast pace.

"Hey Nessie, what's wrong?"

She looked up at me with those adorable chocolate eyes and gave me the biggest smile.

"Nothing's wrong! I'm just so happy! I can't wait to go to school and actually learn something in class rather than by reading Carlisle and dad's books." She replied hugging me.

I went downstairs. I never felt this way towards anyone before. Nessie had been hugging me since she learned how to use her arms. But something changed within me last year. I'm in love with her. Not as a friend, not as a brother or even as a protector. I've felt like this for almost a year now. Did she feel it too? Damn. I forgot about Edward's ability.

"Hey Jacob." Edward said calmly. I was surprised. Since when did the leech stop overreacting about situations I can't control? Or even approve of me as a son-in-law.

"I heard that," he muttered, "I'm just asking you a question. I know your feelings have changed since last year. Does this mean you're going to tell her about imprinting any time soon?"

"No. I told you before. I want her to fall in love with me. Not feel obligated to love me." I replied. Jeez leech, how many times do I have to repeat that.

"And I heard that. I'm glad you respect Renesmee to do that," Edward said, walking off, "Oh and Jacob, you're not so bad for a son-in-law."

"Uh thanks." I waited for him to leave. Oh thank gosh, that was awkward. But I guess we would be getting married if she feels the same way.

I thought about random scenarios of how Nessie would fall in love with me. Would I be like her knight in shining armour? Or maybe something less dramatic where she just realizes we're perfect together. I drifted off to sleep, only thinking of Nessie.

I woke up to Nessie throwing pillows at me and yelling at me to wake up. She was so cute like that, knowing how I'm a heavy sleeper she would always wake me up, ever since she was little.

"Wake up, Jake!" she yelled, "it's the first day of school and we have to go!" She threw more pillows at me and started slapping my face lightly. After 15 more minutes of attempting to wake me up she gave up and turned away to leave.

I grabbed her hand. "Stay." I told her.

She giggled. "So I get up and leave and then you decide to wake up?" she questioned me and hit me on the forehead. "Dope head." She teased me.

"Dope head? That's not very nice." I replied, pretending to be hurt.

"My dope head." She corrected herself and gave me the biggest grin, "Go get dressed, okay? We're leaving in ten minutes!"

I put on the school uniform. For guys, the uniform included a white button up shirt with a striped black and red tie, a black blazer and grey trousers. For girls the uniform was a red skirt just above the knee, a black blazer, a white button up shirt and a pair of grey knee high socks or black stockings. I went downstairs, to find Esme cooking breakfast. She tried hard to cook for Nessie and me and is always worrying that it won't taste great, but it always ends up tasting amazing.

"Hey Jake, I made you and Nessie breakfast. Bacon, eggs, toast and a slice of strawberry shortcake I made this morning. How does that sound?" She smiled, revealing her dimples. Esme to me was like a mother.

"Sounds great, Esme." I smiled back.

After Nessie and I finished breakfast, we drove to school in my car. I prefer to drive myself rather than having Edward or Bella drive me around. I was in the same class as Jasper, in Year 10 while Alice and Nessie are in Year 9.

We arrived at school and people were chattering away talking about us. Damn me and by over-strengthened senses. It's awkward when I can hear people just talking about Alice, Jasper, Nessie and me.

"Hey!" a girl said from behind me. I turned around to find a tall blonde girl, with blue eyes.

"Uh, hey." I said, a little taken a back. I never really had a girl come up to me in La Push, so this was certainly unexpected.

"I'm Madison Murray but you can call me Maddy. Since you're new I'm guessing you're Jacob or Jasper?" she asked.

"Um yeah, I'm Jacob." I told her. Jasper walked up from behind me.

"I'm Jasper." Jasper said. Alice came out of nowhere and hugged him from behind smiling.

"And I'm Alice!" she chirped.

"Hey! Who's this Jake?" Nessie asked. I wondered if she was just asking or maybe jealous. I wouldn't mind jealous though.

"Oh. Are you his girlfriend?" she asked curiously.

"No way! Jake and I are just friends!" Nessie smiled at Madison. Damn. I thought it over, she said friend, just a friend.

"Great! Hey Derek!" Madison instructed a guy to come over. He was tall, but shorter than me and had blonde hair and brown eyes and lightly tanned skin.

"Hey Maddy. Who's this?" he asked.

"I'm Renesmee." Nessie introduced. "And I'm Jake." I said smiling. "Alice." "Jasper." they said afterward.

"Nice. So you've met my girlfriend Maddy and I'm Derek. Grade 10, what about you?" Derek asked while stroking his hair making sure every hair was in place.

"Well, Jake and Jasper are in Grade 10 and Nessie and I are in Grade 9." Alice explained for us all.

"Great. I'll see you in class then Alice and Renesmee! Let's go Derek!" Madison said walking off with him.

Nessie and I went to our lockers to get some books. I would have loved to have a locker next to hers, but at Academy High lockers were distributed within classes. So every grade would have a locker area for its own grade. I was curious to see whoever was sharing the locker next to Nessie. She didn't seem to care less about the girl using the locker next to mine. A pale guy with dark brown hair and amber eyes walked up to where Nessie was and opened the locker next to her. I could just tell by his scent.

"Hi. I'm Nessie." Nessie said nervously. He was a vampire. It was good his eyes were amber or I would kill him right there. He was a vegetarian.

"I'm Daniel. I know what you are. Don't worry I won't tell anyone." He said slyly, walking away and waving from behind.

"Nessie are you okay? You seemed a bit uneasy." I asked worried.

"I'm fine Jake, I'm going to get to class now. I'll see you later." She smiled and ran her hands through my hair when she wanted to comfort me.

She walked off to class and I went to get my books for my own class.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:** One Year Later And I Still Feel The Same Way About You Nessie.

I drove her home and she couldn't stop talking about how great lunch was. We hung out with Maddy and Derek and also met Nora and Logan.

Madison and Derek was one of those couples in high school that people would fond over. They appeared as the perfect couple on the outside and well they were. Madison was a girl who cared about her appearance like Derek. Derek was athletic and cared about his reputation. He wasn't stupid but I wouldn't say he was smart. Nora was quiet and shied away from attention. I could tell Logan liked her but he like her, was too shy to admit it and I wasn't sure if Nora had reciprocated those feelings.

While Nessie was talking about how great school was, all I could think about was about that vampire. I really hope he wouldn't harm anyone. I had to tell Edward. I pulled into the driveway of our home and Nessie raced up to her dad and gave him a hug.

"Dad! Mom! It was great." Nessie exclaimed and used her gift to show them her new friends and how exciting it was.

_Edward we need to talk. _I thought in my head and Edward nodded and I knew he understood.

"There's a vampire in the school. He's in Grade 10 like me. He's vegetarian I just thought you should know." I told him.

Edward chuckled. "I already know. I was at the school today, making sure Nessie was settling in okay. He's not dangerous, Jacob. Do you really think I would let Nessie into high school without a little background check on a few students? He's a vegetarian, Jacob. He was once a werewolf and bitten when he stopped phasing. I know he's safe but I can't get a reading on his thoughts maybe it has something to do with his past self. I asked Alice if she could see his future and same problem." Edward explained.

"Wow. I would hate stop phasing and be transformed into a leech." I told him.

"I know Jacob. You would hate to be a disgusting, filthy bloodsucker." He laughed shaking his head slowly.

_My thoughts exactly, _I thought. "Well it's great that he's not dangerous." I told him.

I woke up at dawn and decided to phase. Hearing how Daniel became human because he stopped phasing regularly made me run scared. I thought about Nessie and how I might confess to her. Should I? I don't think she's ready to know about my feelings if she only thinks of me as a friend.

I ran for hours and came back home just after three and Bella was there waiting for me in the living room.

"Hey Jake." She smiled. I wondered what she had to say to me.

"Hey Bells. Everything okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just that, Nessie's all grown up and I know you have feelings for her…" she started.

"I know, I want to confess but I won't at least not yet." I told her.

"Why don't you?" she asked.

"Well for one, I don't think Edward would want me to just yet." I started.

"Jake, Edward has gotten over that a long time ago. He's fine with anything you want to do." Bella told me. I knew she was telling the truth. If it was a lie I would have known, with all her transformation one thing that hasn't changed is her ability to lie.

"And two. She honestly isn't ready. She doesn't feel for me that way. Yesterday she said she thought of me as only a friend." I replied to her.

"Tell Edward, that when I do tell Renesmee, I will only tell her how I feel about her, I still want her to decide. I want her to choose not feel obligated to love me." I told her.

"He appreciates that. But Jake, when she's ready you can tell her. Edward and I support you." Bella told me.

It was nice to hear that from Bella. I can't believe how my relationship with the bloodsuckers has changed because of Nessie. Emmett and I sometimes have hunting competitions. Even Blondie and I have a different relationship now. We used to just hate each other but now it's more like sibling quarrels rather than us detesting each other. I never really minded Alice in the first place. She always comes up with an excuse to update my wardrobe. Her most used reason is because I keep destroying my clothes when I phase. Jasper was someone I came to when we were planning an attack against a dangerous enemy. He came up with good strategies since he had been through a lot. Jasper helped us fight the newborn army made to avenge James by killing Bella. Edward is someone I would come to for advice.

Nessie can't wait for school tomorrow. I love the way her eyes light up when she gets excited. Her birthday is today and I started making her present months ago. I bought her a silver charm bracelet and made charms by carving wood, much like the present I gave Bella when she first graduated. I made Nessie nine charms for her nine birthdays. Well not yet, she'll be nine soon and looking around 18. But she's stopped phasing.

I slept for a few hours and then woke up. Nessie was still sleeping and the Cullens were in the kitchen making a delicious breakfast in bed for her. Esme was making the pancakes while everyone else prepared strawberries, whipped cream and maple syrup to go with it.

We all sensed as Nessie walked down the stairs and we froze. As we saw her approaching, we were excited. I saw her in her school outfit, ready for school and we screamed, "Happy Birthday, Nessie!"

"Aw. Thanks guys." Nessie thanked us happily.

"Okay birthday girl, we need to get you ready for school but once you get home I'm going to get you ready for tonight!" Alice chirped.

"Yes Aunt Alice, promise me don't go too overboard…" Nessie responded, rolling her eyes probably thinking typical Alice.

"Mhm, I promise." Alice said winking.

"You can open your presents tonight okay Renesmee. It'll be great honey." Bella said smiling.

"Happy Birthday Nessie. You'll love your presents. Now go to school and have fun okay." Edward told her.

"Okay daddy, I'm going now okay. Love you mummy. Love you daddy." Nessie said on her way out the door.

Nessie couldn't wait to see Logan, Nora, Maddy and Derek. I wasn't as anxious about Daniel now. Since he drank animal blood that was probably okay then.


	4. Chapter 3

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Three**: I Think I Love You

Jake drove me to school again. I couldn't wait to get to school. Since I spent my whole life studying Carlisle and my father's books I actually wanted to experience a proper education.

"Hey Renesmee!" I heard Madison and Nora behind me. I turned around.

"Hey guys! What do you have first and second period?" I asked.

"I have Chemistry, Biology then Physical Education." Madison and Nora told me together.

"Aw, I have English, Math then Chemistry," I said disappointed, "We'll hang out at lunch okay?"

"Sure Renesmee." They told me.

"Hey Nessie, I'm going to get to class now okay?" Jake told me, almost sounding afraid that I'd be upset. He looked down, sadly.

"It's okay Jake, we can hang out at lunch." I told him quickly.

"Yeah okay." He smiled and then walked to his locker area.

I got my books for my classes and then started walking to my first class. Only three periods of classwork and I can hang out with Jake and the others at lunch.

My first two classes were okay. I met a girl named Abigail in English. She was really smart and we paired up for a newspaper assignment. In math, I sat next to Grace. She was a smart, tall Asian girl with glasses. Grace was also in my Biology class yesterday but I guess I didn't notice.

I walked into my last class before lunch and saw Daniel there, his hair radiating in the sunlight by the window. As I walked to the seat next to him, he turned and smiled.

What was happening to me? Was I blushing? I couldn't be… in love?

I remember feeling nervous when he talked to me yesterday. I never experienced a crush before. Especially since he was a vampire I was sure my family would approve. His cute round amber eyes and dark brown hair. I've never understood what love for someone is. It was strange, for the first time I felt completely infatuated with someone. He was so hot and the way he said I won't tell anyone, made me blush a deep, scarlet red.

I'm pretty sure my cheeks were the exact same red as yesterday. Only I didn't realize that I was completely head over heels for him that time.

"Hello Renesmee. You do understand that by sitting next to me you'll be my chemistry partner, right?" Daniel chuckled.

"I… uh… didn't know that… but okay." I struggled to find my words.

"Just relax okay." He smiled.

"Daniel," Mrs. Anderson called out, "Since you seem to be doing a lot of talking. Please explain what an isotope is."

"An isotope is an atom with a different number of neutrons in the nuclei but contains the same number of protons. In other words, a radioactive forms of a single element. An example of this is Carbon -14 where there are eight neutrons in the nuclei instead of six. The percentage of Carbon -14 in relations to the amount of natural carbon in the world is 0.1% whereas Carbon -12 is 98.9% of the carbon in the world and Carbon -13 is 1% of the carbon in the world –" Daniel explained.

" – That's enough, thank you. What about you Renesmee? What is a diamond?" Mrs. Anderson asked me sternly.

"A diamond is made purely from carbon. Carbon's valence is four, when carbon atoms are repeatedly linked using covalent bonds and each carbon atom is connected to four other carbons diamond is created." I responded.

"Humph. Pay attention next time okay?" Mrs. Anderson told us harshly.

When she turned around we giggled. Daniel decided we should do work cause he didn't want to keep me from my work. I couldn't help but want to know more about him. Finally the bell rang and I got my books up to leave. I didn't realize that I had already asked him to sit with me for lunch when I got up to leave. Hopefully Madison and the others could be welcoming.

"Where do you sit Renesmee?" he asked me.

"I sit over there with Madison, Nora, Derek, Logan and Jake. Let's go." I told him excited.

"Um. Renesmee. I can't sit with them. It's complicated..." Daniel started.

"It's okay. We can go somewhere else if you want." I told him quickly.

"Are you sure Renesmee?" He asked me.

"Yes! Let's go!" I told him.

Daniel took me to a rose garden and we sat in the pavilion, I talked with him for ages and I learnt a lot about him. He used to be a werewolf like Jake but without realizing he turned human because he hadn't phased for a while. He's been a vampire for 30 years now and was turned when he was 19. Daniel's parents died when he was young. His werewolf tribe wasn't Quileute but Denaite. Before he was a vampire he had green eyes. Also he has the ability to generate a heat wave which can be over 800Celsius. I told him about my abilities and soon the day was over. Both of us didn't seem to remember that the bell had went for period four, five and six ages ago. And that school ended by now.

I went home by bus because Jake probably went home and it was four thirty and Alice wanted me home an hour ago. I walked in.

"Where have you been, Renesmee?" my father asked me angrily. He only ever called me by my full name when he was mad.

"Jake has been out looking for you worried to death. He missed a pop quiz and a test since you decided to skip your three last periods!" my mother told me sternly.

"Renesmee! There you are! I've been looking for you since lunchtime. You told us you were going to eat with us but we couldn't find you and I was so worried." Jake told me looking upset and even mad.

"I'm sorry Jake. I'm sorry mum and dad. I was eating lunch with Daniel and I lost track of time." I told them, feeling bad. Jasper must have been calming everyone down since my dad seemed to soften up a bit.

My dad sighed. "Just go up Renesmee. Your aunt Alice had an outfit prepared for you weeks ago. Please wear it and make her happy. She's been dying to see you in that dress." he told me.

"I'll do your hair Renesmee." Aunt Rosalie told me.

"So Nessie. Boyfriend already?" Uncle Emmett grinned and my mother threw a book at him. "Just kidding Bella." He quickly said.

I don't know why she got mad at Emmett for that. I quickly altered my thoughts so dad couldn't read what I was thinking about Daniel. We didn't do anything but I would have liked to.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! Do you know how long I spent looking for this dress? And you didn't show up on time like you promised to wear it?" Aunt Alice told me crossly.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Alice. You can go completely overboard for the rest of my birthdays, will this make up for this?" I told her trying to compromise.

"Yes! Don't forget that you said it!" she told me happily.

She gave me a beautiful, strapless dress. It was a baby pink-beige colour at the top with a black sash and the skirt of the dress was also black. It was just above my knees at the front and just under my knees at the back. Aunt Alice gave me a gold tiara, gold hoop earrings and gold bangles to go with it. Aunt Rosalie curled my hair and pinned it up just like a princess would wear her hair.

I walked downstairs hoping they weren't mad at me anymore. They weren't mad at me anymore. Or maybe tomorrow I'll be grounded. They sung happy birthday to me and I cut the cake and wished for Daniel to like me.

"Present time!" Aunt Alice chirped.

I opened mum and dad's present first. It was a scrapbook of my life from birth to now. And dad got me something extra, which was a music book to write music in. Dad had been teaching me piano since I was born.

"Aw thanks mum and dad. I love it!" I thanked them and hugged them.

I opened Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett's present next. It was a beautiful, miniature cradle made of crystal and diamond. Aunt Rosalie had always wanted a baby, so I loved it. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper got me a Myer's Gift Card of $500 and black and white dress to die for. Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle got me painting set. Art was one of my hobbies.

"Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it." I told my family hugging them.

"Wait I still have to give you my present." Jake told me, fiddling around for something in his pocket. He finally pulled out a charm bracelet with nine charms.

"Real original Jake." I heard my mother tell him.

To me, it was beautiful. Some charms were carefully cut out from wood and others were probably bought from the store. My nine charms consisted of: a wolf, a heart, a treasure chest, the letter R, a key, a pearl, a star, one shoe and an hourglass.

"Its beautiful Jake!" I exclaimed while hugging him. I frowned, "You're not mad at me anymore right Jake?"

"No, Nessie. I wasn't mad. I was just worried sick," Jake started, "You like this guy don't you?" He frowned.

I altered my thoughts then answered him; my dad shouldn't know how I feel.

"No Jake. I would tell you if I liked someone!" I lied.

"Um… Renesmee. You want to hang out tomorrow since it's a Saturday? Let's meet up at the theme park on Carson Road, okay? 1:30?" Jake asked me.

"Sure Jake. I should make it up to you anyway." I smiled.

"Oh and I'll tell you what each of those charms represent tomorrow too, okay?" He told me.

Well, I was excited to go with Jake tomorrow. I wonder what the charms represent anyway.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:** My First Date.

I was going to meet up with Jake today at the theme park. I hadn't spent a day with Jake since we moved away from Forks. I had only been to a theme park once when I was little and I almost broke the rollercoaster. So I wasn't allowed until I was older. Glancing at my bedside table I saw the charm bracelet that Jake gave me yesterday. It was so beautiful and I really wanted to know what each charm had represented. I knew the wolf was probably representing himself and maybe the heart because he's like family. But the others I had no clue.

I got ready to hang out with Jake. I decided to wear something casual. So I put together an outfit that consisted of a black top with short white sleeves that had LUCKY written on it that Jake bought me when Alice took us shopping and a pair of denim shorts. I wore black converse and took a jumper with me just in case it would rain today.

"Hey Nessie. Don't forget about your d… meet up with Jake." My mum told me, smiling. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie chuckled and then Uncle Emmett threw a book at her. Payback for whatever happened yesterday probably. I laughed.

"I won't!" I told her, rolling my eyes.

Walking out the door I grabbed my handbag and went to the nearest bus stop.

I went out to the shops because I had an hour to chill before meeting Jake. Walking around I bought a black and white scarf, a white skirt, and a gray shirt with a question mark on it and to go with it a black belt. I decided to change my outfit and wear my new one with the new heels I bought. Walking out the door I glanced at a beautiful sundress. It was white and had thin spaghetti straps and a deep sweetheart neckline. It would go perfectly with the shoes I just bought.

I took the bus home to place my new clothes in my bedroom. I decided to wear the sundress instead. No one was home so I decided to go to the rose garden that Daniel and me went to last time. To my surprise, I found him there under the pavilion we sat under yesterday.

"Hey Renesmee." He greeted me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Don't say hi then," he said pretending to be offended, "Kidding. Just thinking about you I guess."

I blushed. For a minute there all I could see was him and I forgot everything else.

"Do you want to go somewhere? I know a really great beach around here." Daniel told me.

"Sure" I told him without thinking.

He took me to his car and starting driving. I swear he was going a million miles over the speed limit. But he was very careful. But that didn't make me feel any less uneasy.

"Oh my gosh! Slow down!" I yelled while I jerked side to side in the passenger seat.

Daniel chuckled. "Don't worry, you're safe with me. Even if we do get in a car accident, you're half vampire, you'll live."

"Like that's going to make me feel better!" I retorted.

"Just relax Renesmee, at this rate we'll arrive at the beach in no time." He told me.

After a few minutes Daniel pulled over and told me to get on his back. I looked around, it was a huge forest with tall trees and I could just make out the sky above the canopies. I did as he instructed and got on his back. Daniel grinned, "Hold on tight, Renesmee." I had only ever been on Jake's back before and I suddenly remembered my appointment with him. Shit. I immediately felt down. I felt really bad, for standing him up twice in a few days. But knowing Jake he wouldn't be mad for long surely. Daniel finally stopped. We reached this loved closed private beach with fine yellow sand and blue waters. It was deserted, like it was made for the two of us.

I immediately forgot my troubles and concerns for Jake and jumped into the water, wearing my new sundress. He followed me jumping in.

Without hesitation, he kissed me, my first kiss. It was so sudden, I left my eyes wide open and after a few moments I closed them and pulled him closer in. He stopped, pulled away from my hold and sighed.

"Sorry Renesmee, I forget that you're part human too. Let's not rush this." He said.

"It's really beautiful here Daniel. Thanks for taking me here." I told him.

"Renesmee, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked me.

I froze. I had never had a boyfriend before, much less been asked out by someone, a very cute someone. How do I respond? Use your words Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

"It's okay Renesmee I get it, really you're not interested." Daniel said and started muttering quietly to himself.

"No… it's not that. I want to be your girlfriend." I told him quickly. I blushed and he put one hand on my check and felt the warmth in them.

"Really?" he said, his eyes lighting up, "I want to show you something."

We got out of the water and he took my hand and took me uphill to a beautiful structure of made of branches with flowering plants all over. It was the sort of place you would see in a fairytale book.

"This is where my father asked my mother out, where he proposed and where he confessed his feelings…" Daniel told me, proudly.

"Wow. It's really beautiful here!" I smiled.

We stayed there for a couple more hours so our clothes could dry and we went to a souvenir store to buy some clothes to wear while they dried. What I felt with Daniel is probably what people would refer to as pure bliss. It was so great, just being with him. I always wanted to know more about him, to spend more time with him. I tried to remain cool, keeping my emotions in check and tried to stop embarrassing myself so often like I do with Jake. He took me for a picnic to have tea and I had a great time. I was sure he loved me and that I loved him. I may be nine years old, but I'm physically and emotionally eighteen, I was sure, I loved Daniel, 100%.

Finally I went home. I felt extremely guilty about Jake and I didn't want to face Jake after I stood him up twice and then I opened the door and to my surprise Jake wasn't at the door waiting to rage at me, instead it was my family instantly surrounded me and asked the question I was dreading, "How was it?"


	6. Chapter 5

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Five: **Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, No It's Still Shame On You.

"So you've finally decided to confess to Nessie?" Edward asked me sighing.

"You don't want me to?" I asked him.

"It's not that it's just, I'm glad. I'm happy that you can finally be happy. I know how much it hurt for you when Bella and I got married. I guess the fact that you imprinted on Nessie was karma." Edward smiled.

"Yeah I guess you do owe me that much." I told him laughing.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You better not hurt her mutt. Or I will really kick your head in then." she threatened.

"Yes Blondie." I told her, sticking my tongue out.

"Watch it dog," she told me.

"Just promise me, Edward, you will not spy on us." I begged him.

"I won't Jacob. You guys have the day to yourself. And keep things PG. Okay? This is my daughter we're talking about here." Edward told me and I nodded.

I got ready for the theme park, as Nessie had already left. As I went there I saw a flower shop and decided to buy a bouquet of yellow tulips and red roses. Nessie loved roses because of their scent and how they stand for love and she loved tulips because unlike roses their petals don't fall out easily.

I waited in the theme park. It was open till late so that would be great so Nessie and I could spend lots of time together. A breeze swept by and I thought over what I should say to Nessie.

There are a billion different things I could say to Nessie. I thought it over in my head.

_Umm Nessie, I've felt this way for a while, I love you. Not as a brother, not as a friend but like a boyfriend. I don't just love you I'm in love with you._

Or maybe… _I've been meaning to say this for a while so here goes. I'm in love you Renesmee. Would you be my girlfriend? Cause I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm so in love with you Nessie._

I remembered what each charm stood for. The heart and wolf was obvious but there was a deeper meaning to the other ones. I remembered that I had a secret compartment in the treasure chest that I carved to hide a message. Maybe she had already found thin strip of paper that I had carefully coiled to fit inside that tiny charm.

On that paper I had written, _I vow to love you always. You didn't know it but I've been in love with you since the day you turned eighteen, physically. I promise you this, I could never leave you without your consent and as long as you let me be beside you, I'll never let you cry a tear of sadness. Every flaw you might have, to me makes you perfect. Cause to me, you are the reason to live. I love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Forever Jacob Black._

It was time. But she wasn't here yet. She was probably just a bit late. Twenty minutes passed and she still didn't show up. Maybe she was running a bit late. Did I say 1:30 and not 12:30? I called her and she didn't pick up. Maybe she was on her way here then? I was so excited. I couldn't wait to see her.

I decided to wait longer. One hour passed then two. The skies turned gray and it began to rain. I waited there for a couple more hours, in the rain, soaked and my clothes completely drenched. Time seemed to pass extremely slowly. It was clear what had happened.

She stood me up. For the second time she stood me up. She didn't even care enough to call and cancel. It was like she didn't even care about me. She left me here, to rot in the rain.

For the first time I cried tears. The first time I try to confess to a girl and she bails on me, without a call, a text to say sorry. Suddenly my sadness turned to anger. I left the theme park and went to a lake and threw each rose and tulip into the lake one by one. It seemed like I was trying to throw my love for Renesmee away into the water. But the tide kept bringing the flowers back to me. Why do I have to feel this way? Why couldn't I throw this love away? Why couldn't she take this love away from me? Why?

I phased and ran as fast as I could into the forest and heard loud howls. I wanted to tell them to shut up when I realized that person making those sounds was me. I phased back and sat there in the middle of nowhere, with my head buried in my arms crying as loud as I can. I started punching the bark of the trees surrounding me. Trees started to collapse and I stared at my hands. They were red and covered in blood. I quickly started to heal and all I could see were some scars.

Sitting down under a tree, I sighed. Anger seemed like the only thing that would make me feel better. It was still raining and I was drenched. I decided to continue beating the trees.

"Why! Why! Why!" I yelled as more trees came tumbling down.

I calmed down after a few hours of continuing this procedure and it looked like it was around midnight. I decided to go home and finally ask Renesmee what was so important that she left me there in the rain and didn't even have the courtesy to call. I suddenly felt anger again and knocked down another tree in someone's backyard. I opened the door and Bella was there.

"What the hell happened to you Jake?" she asked worried, "You're bleeding!"

"Jacob I'm so sorry." I heard Renesmee say. I didn't bother to look at her. Edward get out of my head, she stood me up, left me waiting in the rain and didn't even bother to call me let alone text. That's how little she thinks of me. And what's really pathetic is that I still love her.

"Jacob, you're drenched. Are you hungry? I could fix you something for dinner." Esme offered me kindly. Everyone was asking me if I was okay giving me sympathy. Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle… all of them, even Rosalie.

"I'm fine," I answered her emotionless, "It's okay."

"I'm really sorry Jake." Renesmee apologized again.

"Really I'm fine. Just great." I answered her quietly.

I walked up to my bedroom and locked it. I hopped onto the bed in my wet clothes and tried to sleep.

Rosalie was wrong, I didn't hurt her, she hurt me. And even though she broke my heart, I still loved her.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: ** There Aren't Any Band-Aids For Broken Hearts.

I heard them talking to Renesmee when I woke up.

"Why didn't you try to call him and cancel?" Bella asked her.

"Nessie, even I think that's a little low. What were you doing that made you so busy you couldn't even text him that you couldn't make it?" Rosalie asked her.

"I know! I know," Renesmee sighed, "I just forgot. I lost track of time when I went shopping and then I went to the beach, went swimming and slept and when I woke up it was 5:00 so I went home."

"Yeah but Jacob was waiting in the rain for you. Why didn't you at least go to the theme park and see if you could make it?" Bella asked her, sighing.

"It was raining when I took the train back and I honestly thought he would have gone home." Renesmee told them.

"But to be stood up twice, it hurts Renesmee." Jasper told her scratching his forehead.

I walked downstairs. Esme made me a huge breakfast just for me. French toast with strawberries, honey and whipped cream, along with an English muffin with sausage and egg. It looked delicious and I will try to eat it all but I didn't have much of an appetite.

"Jake. I'm sorry." Renesmee started.

"I know Renesmee, but the least you could have done was text me or call me," I said and even though I heard it before I asked, "Why didn't you come?"

"I lost track of time and when I fell asleep on the beach I woke up. Just please forgive me." she explained.

"Okay. I forgive you. " I told her.

"Thanks Jake. I'll make it up to you okay? I'll meet up with you at lunch today." She told me, hugging me.

I took her up on that offer. It was Sunday so I really had nothing to do. Nessie was going somewhere with Maddy and Nora and I stayed home. I wasn't proud of what I did next, but the Cullens were out. Edward, Bells, Rosalie and Emmett had college classes to attend and Carlisle had to work in the hospital. Esme was taking a class for cooking, as if her cooking wasn't already good. So I decided to follow Nessie. Yeah I wasn't proud, but even though I wasn't like her brother anymore, I was still her protector.

Where the hell was she going? Cause I had no idea. She took a bus and I started following it. Finally after eight stops, Nessie got off at a rose garden. It was a pretty garden, and she met up with someone, that someone turned around and it was Daniel, that filthy leech was hanging out with Renesmee. Well maybe they are just friends, I hope so because I love this girl.

I continued to follow them when Nessie got into his car. I followed the car, he was driving 1000 miles an hour, I usually drove carefully when Nessie was around but I had to find out where she was going. He finally pulled over beside a huge forest. Nessie got onto his back; I hid behind the car, held my heart and felt a huge heartache. Could it be? That Daniel loves her?

I waited for them to leave and then I started tracking Nessie's scent in wolf form. She had a nice, slightly sweet scent. It wasn't dominant like vampires. I stopped when I reached into an open area. It was, a beach.

White, fine sand and blue raging waters. There she was, swimming with Daniel and kissing him. Her first kiss, was not with me, it was like I was being stabbed a billion times and someone put salt on all my wounds and burnt my body slowly, so the pain would last longer. And the worst part isn't that he kissed her, but when she told him that she loved him. I felt a piercing feeling inside, I clutched my heart, I never felt more hurt, it was like my heart was ripped out of my chest and no one could fix it.

I turned away from what I saw and fell to the floor. I didn't care whether I lived or died anymore. Suddenly my reason to live became someone else's reason to live. I had no cause. I looked down at my necklace that Nessie had gotten me last year. On the necklace was the bullet that hit me a couple of years back. I was shot saving Nessie when she was rather young, she drilled a hole in it and gave it to me with a long black string, so I would always remember how grateful she was for saving her life.

All those questions I had asked in my head over the years, I found the answers to that very day. Who was the guy she had her first kiss with? Daniel. Did she love me? No, she doesn't love me. How would she react when I confessed to her? Well, I will never find out. I had one answer left to search for. Why the hell did she lie to me? Twice. I asked her if she liked Daniel she said no, allowing me to wait in the rain the next day waiting for her to come so I could finally tell her what I had been waiting so long to say. I asked her why she stood me up. Did she even remember to meet me? Even if she did, that's worse cause she knew I was waiting and didn't even call.

It made so much sense. She went to the beach yesterday. The entire day when I stayed on a seat getting soaked by the rain, she decided to spend the day with Daniel. It hurt. A lot. I started to question, were we even meant to be? Even if the answer was no, it didn't change what I felt towards her. I don't get a choice. Despite this fact, I still know that without imprinting her, I would love her all the same. Imprintees, they don't have to live with pain when they're apart from the person they're meant to be with. It physically hurts to be apart from you, Nessie.

Not even time can heal this broken heart. The universe didn't give me a choice once I imprinted her. I have always done as she asked because that's my job. To be whatever she needs, do whatever she needs and to love her eternally. I lost a part of my heart today, I attempted to find it but it was as if someone picked up a grain of sand, threw it somewhere on the beach and asked me to find it, as if Nessie had taken my heart and given me nothing in return to replace it with.

Still, I needed an answer. Hopefully she wouldn't stand me up three times. When we meet up for lunch I'm going to confront her. She didn't forget to meet up with me for lunch.

"Hey Renesmee." I greeted her.

"Hi Jake!" she replied, hugging me.

"So where did you go with Nora and Madison today?" I asked.

"What? Oh right, umm we went shopping." she answered hesitantly.

"Where?" I asked. "What beach did you go to yesterday?" I pestered her.

"Jake. Get off my case." Nessie snapped.

"Right, I'm sorry. So that guy with you at the beach that's your boyfriend?" I asked.

"Yes... uh no. Jacob, how do you know that? Did you follow me? How could you?" she gasped.

"Oh sure, just shift the blame to me and forget the fact that you lied to me. And stood me up twice. Isn't that worse?" I retorted. I hated making Nessie upset but I couldn't hold in this anger.

"This is so like you Jacob Black. You have a problem with something but you don't do anything. Next time you have a problem with something just tell me straight up instead of waiting for it to become the past!" she yelled back.

I didn't feel like talking to her. I knew if I spoke I would say something I would regret. It was silent for a while. Renesmee made the first move.

"I'm sorry Jake. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want my parents to know I had a boyfriend. What if they don't approve?" Nessie sighed.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry too Nessie. But you have to tell your parents now because my thoughts aren't safe around your dad." I told her.

"I know. I'm really sorry I stood you up for Daniel yesterday. But when he kissed me I just forgot everything else." Nessie explained.

"It's okay." I replied shortly. So her first kiss was yesterday. One of the worst moments of my life after today was one of her happiest. How great, just awesome.

I used to think that love was a beautiful thing. But since yesterday, I started to believe a little less, then little less and now I just don't believe in love anymore. Why have you made me like this Nessie? When I see you, I go crazy. You've made me crazy Nessie. But when I see you with someone else, it hurts so badly. Heartbreaking, to have a one sided love. Can't she see it in my eyes, how much it hurts right now?


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: **Again, Bad Things Happens In Life, Just Have To Deal With It.

"Dad?" Renesmee called.

"Hey Renesmee, is there something you want to tell me?" Edward asked Nessie, glancing at me.

"Sorry Nessie. I can't alter my thoughts like you do." I sighed.

"Jake. I wanted to tell him myself."

Alice walked downstairs. "Nessie, I've been getting some weird visions of you. They're not very clear because it's you and you're like the werewolves but you mind telling me what's going on?" she asked frantically.

"Not yet Alice, I want to wait until everyone's here." Renesmee giggled. Everyone made their way downstairs.

"So Nessie, got a boyfriend now?" Emmett grinned.

"Yes!" she gushed.

"Aw! I'm so happy for the two of you!" Bella congratulated us, hugging Nessie. Edward shook his head to Bella as if to say 'Not Jacob.' She quickly said, "So who's the lucky guy?"

"Daniel!" she squealed. Faces dropped in the room.

"Who's Daniel?" Rosalie asked.

"He's a guy in Grade 10, but not in Jake's class. And he's a vampire so we can be together forever!" Nessie shrieked.

"He's a vampire Nessie, that's dangerous!" Alice said anxiously.

"Alice. He's vegetarian. He has been for 30 years." Nessie told her rolling her eyes.

"Nessie. Thirty years being vegetarian or being a vampire. Even so it's not long. It took a while for Jasper to adjust to being a vegetarian. How do you know he won't crave." Alice said worried.

"He used to be a werewolf. I know that if I turned I would to drink human blood." I defended Nessie. Alice gave me a look as if to say 'what are you doing?'

"Well uh…congratulations." Jasper said.

"Yeah, congrats Nessie." Rosalie told her.

"Thanks guys." Nessie thanked them happily.

I went outside and sat on the front porch. Nessie went out on another date with Daniel. I walked further down and leaned against a tree, exasperated. Bella came out.

"I'm sorry Jake." Bella told me, "I –"

"Just stop. I'm fine.' I interrupted her and walked away.

Twice. This doesn't happen to a person twice. How bad is my luck if this was going to happen to me twice. I lost a girl to someone else again. I'm over Bella but I still lost her once to Edward. And now I'm losing Renesmee, my soul mate. I turned the radio of my car loud and drove for roughly seven hours and arrived at an unpopulated town. I parked my car off the side of the road and sat there like an idiot wanting to be run over. A different person was in her heart; all I could do was be an idiot beside her. But if that meant being with her, then I'm your idiot Ness.

"Hey! Are you okay?" a voice called out to me. I turned around and saw her. She looked young and had brown hair and blue eyes.

"I'm fine. Just blowing off some steam." I told her.

"Rough day?" she asked.

"You have no idea," I told her, "I'm sorry. Forgot to introduce myself, I'm Jacob Black."

"Tamara Callas." she told me, giving out her hand for me to shake. I shook her hand. "So what brings you here?" Tamara asked me suddenly.

"Have you ever liked someone?" I asked her.

"Are you really asking me if I've ever liked someone? I think everyone has liked someone at least once in their life." She grinned.

"It's a long story. I'm in love with someone. But she's in love with someone else. And I've waited a long time to confess, maybe too long." I started.

"Ouch, I've been there. I think the best thing for you to do is move on. You're plenty young and there's plenty of fish in the sea!" she laughed.

"Yeah, I'll try to do that." I lied.

Moving on, I wish it were that easy. But it's not. What I feel for Nessie will never go away. There aren't plenty of fish in the sea for me. Only one. That big sea filled of girls had turned into a pool with only Nessie in it. There was only one option for me. If I wasn't with Nessie I was with no one.

"Here I find that the best way to deal with anger, frustration or sadness is through music." Tamara handed me a guitar. I strummed a few strings.

"Keep it. I have plenty of guitars," she told me.

"I don't really know how to play." I stammered.

"Its okay, I can teach you! I've been playing since I was 6. Just come here every Sunday and I'll give you lessons for free," she offered.

"Really? Thanks! You mind if the lessons start today?" I asked.

"Nope! Follow me!" Tamara exclaimed.

Hours passed and I decided to go home and I realized that I hadn't been on a date since Nessie was born. It was like I felt obliged to her. Like I could only be with her. That's probably why I didn't tell her about the imprint. Because she'd feel forced to love me rather than choosing to be with me. I thought about moving on. It wouldn't be easy but maybe seeing people again would help. Tamara could be an option. She was very free spirited and confident. But maybe I wasn't ready after all. I got home in the morning.

Nessie was gushing about Daniel and couldn't wait to tell everyone at school tomorrow because apparently it was something that should be told face to face and not over the phone.

"He kissed me!" Nessie shrieked. Ness, you don't even see how my heart is ripping.

"Now Renesmee, now that you have a boyfriend remember to keep things strictly PG." Edward told her.

"Yes, Renesmee. You have to be responsible. No sex until you get married, no matter who you marry." Bella told her.

"Ew. Mum stop!" Nessie said shocked.

"Aw. Nessie. All grown up with a boyfriend and you're only 9!" Rosalie chimed.

"Aunt Rosalie. Stop! You're embarrassing me," Nessie flushed, "Oh and guys, I ant to invite Daniel over here soon. Maybe in two days or tomorrow night…"

"What?" everyone said in unison.

"It's only been a few days." Alice told her.

"But I really think I'm in love with him, Aunt Alice. Who knows he might the one!" Nessie gushed as she went upstairs to sleep. I went upstairs and stopped to hear what they were saying.

"Okay this is moving way too fast, Edward. She's nine! Maybe we should have some rules, how much she can go out, how long she can stay out…" Bella started.

"I agree. It's only been a few days and she's fallen in love. Normal teenagers don't know what love is much less a nine year old." Edward continued.

"She's feeling excitement and happiness, but I wouldn't say it was love." Jasper spoke up.

"That's true. But we promised her a normal high school experience. Doesn't that include boys and some heartbreak?" Rosalie inquired.

"But it's difficult because he's a vampire who I can't get a reading on. It's dangerous, we don't even know him." Alice joined in.

"I want her to be happy, I just figured that she'd be with Jake right now." Bella told them.

"Yeah, that's what I expected too. The mutt may not be my favourite person in the world but he'd respect Nessie. It never was him that I hated maybe just the smell? Besides this wouldn't' have happened if Jacob told her about the imprint." Rosalie added.

"I think we all expected that, but we have to respect her choices. Maybe in the future she will learn to love Jacob. We have to respect Jacob's wishes and not tell Nessie about the imprint." Carlisle explained to Rosalie.

"I just wanted Jake to be happy for once. Get the girl he loved." Bella sighed in defeat. "Me too." Edward agreed.

I didn't want to hear anymore. All I heard was sympathy toward me, from Rosalie even. Weird, but is Blondie actually on my side? I guess I didn't hate her either. It was like everyone wanted Nessie to choose me. But was it what she wanted? Because what she chose determined our future together. If we even have a future together.


	9. Chapter 8

**Daniel's Point Of View**

**Chapter Eight: **Discovery.

Renesmee is taking me to meet her family today. I was slightly nervous but still this girl was important.

"Daniel!" Renesmee chimed.

"Hey Renesmee." I greeted her.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked me.

"Yep."

She instructed me where to drive and we arrived at this white double story house with a cascade of ivy growing around it. I saw a tall guy with a wet dog smell, Jacob or something, according to what I remember from what Renesmee had said.

"Hi Daniel, I've heard a lot about you. Come in. I'm Esme." A woman told me.

"So you're Renesmee's boyfriend," a big muscly guy said, "I'm Emmett!"

"I'm Alice, this is Jasper," a girl with jet-black hair introduced holding onto a blond guy's arm.

"I'm Rosalie."

"I'm Carlisle."

"I'm Bella, Renesmee's mother."

"Edward, Renesmee's father."

I shook hands with all of them. Renesmee sure had a big family cause I was struggling to remember names.

"So you're a vampire?" Esme asked me.

"Yes."

"And I understand you used to be a werewolf too like Jake?" she asked me again

"Yes. I used to smell like wet dog. But now I smell like bleach and perfume." I said abruptly. Man she asked a lot of questions.

After an hour I left Renesmee to talk to her family alone and decided to go upstairs into her bedroom.

It was a large bedroom, very open. Light streamed in from the huge windows and shone on her bookcase. There were two books on her bedside table: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Wuthering Heights. I opened the drawers and found a charm bracelet. I dropped it on the hard wooden floor of her room and one of the charms opened. The treasure chest unlocked to reveal a message.

I held a coiled strip of paper in my two fingers and slowly uncoiled the strip of paper. It read '_I vow to love you always. You didn't know it but I've been in love with you since the day you turned eighteen, physically. I promise you this, I could never leave you without your consent and as long as you let me be beside you, I'll never let you cry a tear of sadness. Every flaw you might have, to me makes you perfect. Cause to me, you are the reason to live. I love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Forever Jacob Black.'_

Jacob Black. That was the dog. He was in love with what I so wanted now. I took the charm bracelet, closed the treasure chest charm with the message enclosed in it. If Renesmee were to find this she would reconsider going out with me. Girls seem to fall for heartfelt things like this. I liked her too much for that.

After I went home I opened my own drawer and aced the charm bracelet inside of it. I wasn't about to lose someone again. I've lost someone before and it's not about to repeat. There was no way Renesmee would ever find this. Even if the mongrel did confess, she will never receive this heartfelt message. That gave me an idea. Maybe I could do something like this with the project I was working on now.

I still love you, Rebecca O'Donnell and there'll always be a place in my heart for you. But I'm moving on now to a bigger project, to Renesmee, Janice, Kelly and Natalie.


	10. Chapter 9

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Nine: ** Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid.

Nessie was figuring out how to tell her friends about Daniel and I really didn't want to listen. Before every second I spent with her was perfect happiness. Only now it seems she only wanted to talk to me about Daniel and nothing else. That was complete torture. I didn't need a reminder that my imprint was completely happy with some other guy. That fact was already buried into my mind every single second of the day. Is it just me, or is she purposely trying to toy with me? At least Bella knew that she was hurting me by being with Edward, but Nessie didn't even acknowledge I existed anymore. Her world revolved around Daniel now and her best friend didn't matter. But even so, even if my heart hurts, I was fine as long as she was okay.

I pulled over in the school parking lot. "Jake, I'm nervous." Nessie said anxiously.

Daniel walked over to us. "Who's this Renesmee?"

She blushed. "Its just Jacob. You saw him yesterday didn't you."

"Right! You're friend you've known since you were born. He has a different…uh…scent." Daniel stated.

"Well, you don't smell nice to me either." I retorted. Damn. I was going get it now.

"Jacob. Don't talk to him like this. You got used to my family's smell, now get used to this," she snapped.

"It's okay Renesmee, he just has an opinion, that is all." Daniel said pulling Nessie in for an embrace. Why does he have to be so freaking polite? I swear I wanted to punch him right then.

"Hey Daniel, I wanted to introduce you to my friends at lunch." Nessie told him.

"You mean um Madison and stuff?" Daniel asked. He seemed nervous to me. "Let's not. I told you before it's complicated. Don't tell them we're dating either. There's no need to introduce me to them."

What was he hiding? He's probably a total scumbag.

"Okay," Nessie told him dazed. I wish I were the one who made Nessie feel that way.

"Nessie?" I called out for her.

Nessie was in a daze just looking at him. Does she really not see me? Does she really not see the person who wants her and loves her? I wanted to promise you the world, yet you've run into someone else's embrace. She doesn't understand that I long for her to the point that it physically hurts. Can't you look at me when he's around? Or is he all you see?

She walked off with Daniel without saying a word to me. It hurt but I wasn't about to let that get in the way of my grades. I've been a straight-A student for a couple of years now. I got my books for French, History and Math.

"Est-ce que tu as manges pour petit dejeuner ce matin?" Mrs. Philippe asked us which means 'What did you have for breakfast this morning?'

I answered, "Je n'ai mange pas le petit dejeuner ce matin."

"You didn't eat breakfast?" Mrs. Philippe asked me shocked.

"I was running late." I replied.

"Can anyone say I was running late in French for me please?" she asked the rest of the class who were half asleep.

Finally I went home. Everyone went hunting except for Bella and Esme. They were making dinner and Bella signaled me outside.

"Jake?" Bella asked, "Can you just tell me something?"

"Sure Bells. What is it?" I asked her.

"You love her right? Nessie I mean." Bella started.

"Yes." I answered.

"Then why the hell aren't you fighting for her?" Bella asked confused.

"Bells, she's with Daniel. It's too late." I told her.

"No it's not. It's not over. How do you expect her to feel the same way if she doesn't even know how you feel about her?" she asked frustrated.

I hesitated for a second. _She's right. It's not over until she says no and she hasn't said it!_

"I've got to go!" I said running out the door. "She's at some rose garden! Good luck!"

I ran for her. I had to do something before it became too late. I can't give up on this. Not yet at least. I'm in love with her, in love with you Nessie. For the first time I knew exactly what to say, exactly how to say it. This was better than something planned. It's always better to just go with the moment.

This was the perfect moment for me. I felt adrenalin pumping through my veins and felt it kick it supplying me with the energy I needed to continue running to the destination where she was. I had no idea where she was and I followed my heart. I went by heart rather than relying on sight.

Suddenly I stopped, I smelt roses and opened my eyes. There she was with her boyfriend having a picnic with him under pergola. Even if it hurt, I wasn't backing out this time. It seemed like every time I tried to confess there was that someone in the way, called Daniel. I walked up to them.

"Excuse me Daniel but can I have a moment alone with Nessie? I need to tell her something." I told him as polite as I could.

He gave me a look and walked away. "What is it Jake?" Nessie asked me, confused.

My heart was pounding so hard. I was trembling so much I was afraid I was going to phase. But I had to get it out. I looked directly into her eyes. And began my confession.

"I've been meaning to say this for a while and I know it's really bad timing but here goes. I'm in love with you Ness. I have been since you physically turned 16 and every time I see you with Daniel it hurts like someone drilled nails through my heart.

Nessie looked at me shocked. "Jake…"

"I have to tell you, so you can know. I want to fight for you Ness. I have to let you know that I'm in love with you." I continued.

She hesitated after that. This could go two ways as I see it. She breaks up with Daniel for me or shatters my already broken heart. Taking a bigger piece of my heart away from me by rejecting my confession.

"Jake, that's really sweet," she started. Could it be? That she loved me too? "But I'm sorry. I can't just break up with Daniel because you like me. I do like you Jake. Just not in that way. I love Daniel."

There it was again. My heart shattered. The girl I loved, once again loved someone else.

"I'm really sorry. We're still friends right?" she asked.

"Yeah of course." I replied, trying to hide the hurt in my eyes.

Nessie stayed at the park and I left to go home.

Nessie stayed at the park and I left to go home. I was a fool to not confess sooner. I let a year pass, time she used to find someone else. Sitting around mumbling like an idiot.

Even though she doesn't love me, I couldn't let go. This imprint thing sucks sometimes. There was nothing else I can do. It was too late. I couldn't change her heart and I can't change my heart either. This was living for me, life will never be complete with her and there would always be a void in my heart, one that only she could complete, because even if she never loves me, I wish around and continue to wait for her love.


	11. Chapter 10

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Ten: **Second Thoughts.

"I have to tell you, so you can know. I want to fight for you Ness. I have to let you know that I'm in love with you." He went on.

I paused and I think I just stared at him for a while. That was really brave of Jake to confess his feelings for me.

"Jake, that's really sweet," I began, "But I'm sorry. I can't just break up with Daniel because you like me. I do like you Jake. Just not in that way. I love Daniel. We're still friends right?"

He looked hurt. Poor Jake. I've been a really crap best friend lately. I left him waiting in the rain, lied to him twice and now I've even rejected him. I hated hurting Jake, but I was in love with Daniel and I didn't want to hurt Daniel and myself by breaking up with him. After all, this was Jake; his crush probably wasn't even serious.

I wonder if my parents knew about Jake's feelings. Knowing my father he probably tried to kill him. Jake was like 18 appearance wise but he was actually 26. I mean the way he interrogated Daniel I couldn't imagine the way my father treated Jake. I still remember how my father reacted when Daniel was over.

"So you're roughly 60 years old," my father said giving Daniel a look.

"That would be right give or take a couple years," he replied.

"Hmm…" my father thought hardly.

"Dad you do realize you're like 100 years old." I said rolling my eyes.

"Renesmee…" he sighed.

"So I hear you and Bella conceived Nessie when she was human." Daniel said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes." my father replied.

"I didn't even know that was possible." Daniel remarked.

"Now listen Daniel," my father started, "I don't want you and Renesmee doing anything until she's married. Keep it… PG."

"Edward, these kids were brought up in a different generation. Why don't you just tell them to use protection?" my mum said.

"Mum! Dad!" I said going red and giving them both a look.

I swear parents can be so embarrassing.

"Renesmee?" Daniel snapped his fingers to wake me from my daze.

"Yes. Sorry did I zone out?"

"Yeah. Um I'm sorry Renesmee I'm going to be out on Saturday so I can't go to the concert with you." He mentioned.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm working on a project." he replied.

"Can't you work on it some other time?" I sighed.

"Nope. It's a group assignment so I really can't." he told me.

"Aw. Okay. What about Sunday?" I asked.

"Sorry no. I can't. But maybe the Sunday after that?" Daniel pleaded.

"Okay. Can't wait!" I told him.

"I should drive you home, it's late." Daniel told me.

"It's okay my family won't mind." I said. I didn't want to go home, suddenly it seemed different between Jacob and I. Now that I knew his feelings for me, being around him was just awkward. Not that I felt the same way or anything, of course not I was in love with Daniel.

"No I should get going I have to work on that project tonight anyways," he said.

I walked up to the front porch and waved nervously to Jacob. He did the same. Could it be he felt awkward around me too?

"Hey Jake, can we talk?" I asked him.

"Sure what is it Nessie?" he replied.

"It's just I don't want things to be awkward between us." I began.

"Oh thank Gosh! You feel it too, I thought I was the only one." Jake breathed out in relief.

"You're my best friend Jake. I don't want to lose us." I told him.

"I don't either. Did I ruin it with my good for nothing words?" he asked.

"No. Your confession was sweet. But we're friends Jake." I smiled and gave him a hug. My heart pounded faster and electricity seemed to pass within me. I quickly pulled away.

"Well this was nice! I'm going to go!" I said quickly. I think he felt it too cause he pulled away just as fast.

"Yep! Got to go! Bye," he said racing upstairs, while I went the other direction.

I felt… nervous. Almost like the feeling I get around Daniel, but more comfortable. There is no way I could like Jake. He was my best friend. I sat up thinking about it on my bed.

I heard a knock on my door. "Ness?" Jacob said softly.

"Hey Renesmee?" Jacob said softly.

"What is it Jake?" I asked.

"I just want to ask you if you love Daniel." He started.

"You know I do Jake." I replied.

"I just don't trust him Ness. He's always avoiding Madison and you don't even seem to care. A relationship should be built on trust and how can you have that if he's hiding things from you?" he explained.

"Jake, it's because I trust him that I don't ask. Won't asking him to tell me seem like I don't trust him?"

"Still. There's something off about…" Jake said but I interrupted him, "Enough Jake! I trust him and love him. So just leave it okay?" I snapped.

"What is it about him that makes you love him so much?" Jake asked.

"I don't know… Maybe his eyes, his smile and the way he's… manly. The way he makes me feels, I can see sparks flying whenever I'm with him." I continued.

"I'm a man aren't I?" he asked.

"But you're not a man, to me. You're my best friend Jake. That's all you'll ever be." I sighed.

He left the room and I fell asleep.

"What is it?" I asked blushing. He came over and kissed me. I actually felt fireworks in my head. I forgot about everything instantly. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I thought of nothing and kissed him back. We were interrupted by the sound clashing dishes.

And I woke up from my dream.

"Earth to Renesmee." Derek snapped me out of my daydream.

I looked across the room. "Jake stop! Stop!" a tall brunette giggled. "Nope! Not stopping!" Jake laughed as he tickled her.

"Hey guys, who's the brunette flirting with Jake?" I asked.

"Oh that's Olivia Jennings. Why? You jealous?" Madison teased.

"No way! I have a boyfriend!" I said without thinking. I forgot Daniel had wanted me to keep this a secret. "I mean I already like someone else." I quickly said.

"Who?" Logan asked with his mouth full of pizza.

"It's just some guy I met in the gym, you don't know him." I lied quickly.

Jake walked towards us with Olivia. "Hey guys. Liv is going to hang out with us today!" he said to us. Liv? He knows her for how long and already gave her a nickname? Suddenly my nickname didn't seem that great anymore.

"Hey Ness. You're with us for lunch today? This is – " he started to introduce.

" – I already know!" I snapped.

"Maybe I should leave…" Olivia suggested.

"Maybe you should!" I agreed.

Olivia ran away quickly while crying. I instantly regretted saying that.

"Wait Liv!" Jake called after her and started running for her.

"Whoa…" Derek and Logan said I unison.

"Renesmee that was really rude." Nora said abruptly.

"Yeah Liv didn't do anything wrong. You should apologize." Madison added.

"I know I know." I sighed.

"Go, she probably went to the creek, if not that then try the volleyball courts." Nora suggested.

Great. I should really think twice before opening my big mouth.


	12. Chapter 11

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Eleven: **When The Truth Came Out, All Hell Broke Loose.

"Liv wait!" I chased after her. There I was again cleaning up Nessie's mess.

Olivia tripped on her shoelace and fell to her knees crying. I put my hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Liv." I comforted her.

"No its not!" she yelled back, "I don't what I did to make her hate me!"

"It's not you. It's probably just a PMS thing." I tried to joke.

She laughed anyway. "Maybe." She said hesitant.

"All I know for sure is that it's not you!" I laughed and started tickling her. Liv was fun; she was like a little sister to me.

"Hey um Olivia?" Renesmee suddenly appeared, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just mad and I took it out on you. I really hope you can forgive me."

"It's okay Renesmee!" Liv instantly said.

"Really? I don't think I deserve that." Renesmee asked to make sure. At least she knows how to say sorry and mean it. But sometimes she can be really selfish.

"No it's really okay! I have to get to dance class now though, I'm taking classes during school hours." Liv said rushing off to class.

"Why exactly were you rude to Liv?" I asked her.

"Because she was being a flirt with you. It was annoying. I felt bad okay?" she snapped.

"Wait so you don't want me to be with you but you don't want me with anyone else? You can't have it both ways. You either want me to be with you or let me be with someone else!" I said angrily.

"You want to be with her? Fine!" she retorted, "So much for liking me."

I felt anger burn within me. She has no idea how it feels. To love someone who loves someone else. I suddenly felt like dating someone just to get back at her.

"Yeah I do want to be with her," I snapped.

"Fine! I hope you're very happy together." Renesmee said without looking at me.

I went back to the cafeteria. Ever since Nessie got a boyfriend she changed. She put him first above all else. She skipped important events with her family, and important dates with me. My imprint may have changed, but I can't change my heart.

I saw Madison slap Daniel. He raised a hand as if he was about to hit her back. I immediately went over there and pushed him away from her. He walked away without saying anything, only greasing me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, "What was all that about?"

"He wants to get back together and when I told him that I was perfectly happy with Derek he tried to kiss me! So I slapped him and he just snapped. Can you believe he tried to hit me? Nobody tries to hit me!" Madison explained.

"Wait he wanted to get back together with you?" I asked. Oh. My… I had to tell Renesmee. That guys a freaking player!

"Yeah he did. We broke up last year since he cheated on me, thrice. And then he's just a jerk. He's the type of guy who dates a tonne of girls at a time…" she started but I grabbed her hand and started running for it. "Do you mind telling Renesmee what you just told me?" I asked her, running.

"Su-ur-re!" she struggled to say.

I found Nessie under the tree. Good she was alone. She didn't see me as a man, but what would my actions make her think of me now? I'm standing up taking a stand.

"Nessie!" I said out of breath, "Daniel, he's a…player. He's dating a lot of girls right now and tried to get back together with Madison. He's a cheater."

"Are you serious?" she said thinking about it. "That's not true. He loves me Jake. You're only saying this because you want to break us up."

"No he doesn't. It's true Renesmee. I dumped him after he cheated on me three times." Madison explained.

"Then you must have done something wrong," Renesmee said rudely, "Cause he's perfectly in love with me. He took me to the retreat where his father proposed to his mother? No right? You probably weren't worth it."

"Renesmee…" Madison said shocked.

"And Jake, stop trying to break me and Daniel up because you have a stupid crush on me," she snapped.

Stupid crush? Is that what you thought of what I felt? I gave you my heart Renesmee. And you just tossed it in the trash. Leaving me to wait in the rain, that's fine. Lying to me about why you never showed up, that's okay too. Breaking my heart into a billion pieces, okay. But labelling my love as a stupid crush, that hurts Renesmee.

"I don't need you. So why stick around?" she permitted me to leave.

"You don't mean that," I said shocked, "Say it again."

"I really do mean it. I don't need you or your help. All you do is try to convince me to break up with Daniel. Stop making up lies. So go." she said.

"You don't need me? You don't want me around fine!"

"Good! "

"I mean it Nessie. If you want me to leave I'm going."

"Go. Run away like you always do." She said not looking me in the eyes.

"I'm really going, Renesmee Carlie Cullen," I said coldly, "I hope you have a nice life.

It was hard, but I left. Completely devastated by the fact that she didn't need me. I was bound to be whatever she needed but she didn't need anything from me. Not even as a best friend anymore.

I went home, took Tamara's guitar, packed up my clothes and left a note for the Cullens.

_I'm leaving. Maybe in time we'll meet again. But for the meantime take care of her. I'm not sure if she meant it when she said she didn't need me or want me around, but I'm leaving. I'm not sure if it will hurt more being apart from her, but I'm not sticking around to watch her with someone else and be more hurt. I have to try, find my own happiness like Nessie has. I'm sorry. Thank you for sending me to a good school, taking me with you on this journey. Tell my sisters and the pack I won't be back for a while. I hope, that maybe we will meet again in the future. I'm sorry I'm leaving this letter instead of having a proper goodbye. But I don't want to say good-bye in person because I'm afraid it'll be too hard to let you guys go. I'm sorry. Bye._

_Jacob._

All I needed was for you to turn around and stop me, Nessie. I never once asked you for your love. Was your pride too great to admit you wanted me to stay? Or have you never cared for me or thought of me as family or a best friend? Did you never consider me as an equal to your family? I just needed you to need me and want me around. That's all it took for me to forever stay by your side. I'll try to forget you. So, I'm backing off, live a good life without me, Nessie and that's all I have to say.


	13. Chapter 12

**Renesmee's Point of View**

**Chapter Twelve: **The Things I Should Have Said.

I went home mad. I knew Jake would phase and run for hours and that he wasn't going to talk to me for a while. But, I missed him. I couldn't look him in the eye when I told him to leave. Surely he would know I could never ask him to leave.

_I still remember…_

"And Jake, stop trying to break me and Daniel up because you have a stupid crush on me," I snapped at him.

"I don't need you. So why stick around?" I told him.

"You don't mean that," he stood there shocked, "Say it again."

"I really do mean it. I don't need you or your help. All you do is try to convince me to break up with Daniel. Stop making up lies. So go." I said.

"You don't need me? You don't want me around fine!" he yelled.

"Good!" I told him.

"I mean it Nessie. If you want me to leave I'm going."

"Go. Run away like you always do." I said without looking him in the eyes.

"I'm really going, Renesmee Carlie Cullen," I said coldly, "I hope you have a nice life.

I cried a single tear and opened the door. I looked around the room. Esme was taking dishes and dropping them to break them and Carlisle was so shocked and silent. My father was holding my mother who was crying silently on the couch. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were ever so still and quiet. Aunt Rosalie was quiet and Uncle Emmett was rubbing her back trying to comfort her.

I was shocked and demanded to know what was going on, "What happened?"

"Jacob left," my dad told me.

"No he wouldn't leave. He could never leave me." I said unsure.

"He did. He left a note for us," my dad told me quietly.

_I'm leaving. Maybe in time we'll meet again. But for the meantime take care of her. I'm not sure if she meant it when she said she didn't need me or want me around, but I'm leaving. I'm not sure if it will hurt more being apart from her, but I'm not sticking around to watch her with someone else and be more hurt. I have to try, find my own happiness like Nessie has. I'm sorry. Thank you for sending me to a good school, taking me with you on this journey. Tell my sisters and the pack I won't be back for a while. I hope, that maybe we will meet again in the future. I'm sorry I'm leaving this letter instead of having a proper goodbye. But I don't want to say good-bye in person because I'm afraid it'll be too hard to let you guys go. I'm sorry. Bye. _

_Jacob._

I started crying and realized he left after all. "Wait so he left because of our disagreement?" I yelled, my eyes still watery.

My mum scrunched her eyes as if she was angry at me but then breathed out and calmed down. "Sweetie. Is there anything I should know that happened today?" she asked as politely as she could.

"I had a fight with Jake." I admitted.

"What was it about?" my dad asked.

"He was trying to convince me that Daniel was a player and that he doesn't love me and that he cheats on his girlfriends." I explained.

I cried. Jacob left me he really left me. I didn't think he would really mean it. I was so selfish I didn't think of anything else but my pride and put that in front of the fact that I wanted him to stay. My pride stopped me from saying what I wanted to say. I hated myself for this.

"It's okay, Nessie." My mum comforted me.

"No it's not! Jake left. We have to bring him back!" I sobbed.

"Don't cry, Nessie. We'll find him and convince him to come back okay?" Aunt Rosalie tried to cheer me up.

"It's not okay? Jake left. Nothing can fix this, I'm going to go." I cried.

I ran to Daniel's house, wanting to talk to him. Only he could make me feel better about this. I knew he was working on a project but he loved me enough to just quit it to make me feel okay.

"Daniel?" I knocked on his door.

I walked into his house and went into his bedroom. Big mistake. There he was, Daniel into another girls arms, kissing her. Making out with her, which is something he's never done with me. Jake was right. He was a cheater. Maybe if it didn't mean anything, I would forgive him. But if he had feelings for her, always with me, he'd be a cheater.

He stared at me with huge eyes, "Renesmee…"

I gave him a fake smile and slapped him across the face, "Some project! Is she the only one?" I yelled.

"No. There's Kelly and Natalie. And just recently I have Denise. Up top" He lifted his hand for a high five.

"Excuse me, but who's Kelly, Natalie, Denise and this slut?" the girl questioned angrily.

"Excuse me but this 'slut' is his GIRL – FRIEND. And I'm not a slut!" I yelled at her.

"Funny. Cause I'm his girlfriend." She replied.

I started pulling her hair and she did the same to me. I ripped out a few strands of her red hair and then she spoke up.

"Wait why are we fighting each other? We were both cheated on…" the girl realized. I let go of her when she let go of my hair.

She slapped Daniel and said, "If you think you'll see Janice again Daniel you're wrong." Then she walked out.

"Well?" I asked, "Are you going to tell me what just happened?"

I slapped him and punched his crotch. I may not be a full vampire but I was sure strong enough to make sure he won't ever procreate. I knocked him into his bed stand and he cried in pain.

I found my charm bracelet in his drawer.

"You stole my charm bracelet?" I raged, "Jake took ages to make this!" I punched his face, using all my strength. "That was for Jake." I punched him again, "That's for all the other girls you screwed." I threw a final punch at him, "And that was for me."

I walked to his bedroom door. "And in case you didn't understand what just happened, it's over. We're done." I yelled taking my charm bracelet with me.

I needed him, Jake; he's my best friend. But I was so selfish and self-centered I wasn't modest enough to tell him to stay. The words I said they were just a part of my pretense. But he left at a time when I needed him most. Why didn't he stay? Why does he always listen to me? It was a quality in Jake that I both loved and hated. I have no one I am depressed and alone. Why didn't I tell you to stay Jake? More than ever I needed you. You stayed for me when I was selfish and ungrateful. Why couldn't you stay for the day I would come to really need you?

Ultimately, I was full of hurt and sorrow. It hurt that Jake was gone. But it more hurt that he didn't care enough to stay.


	14. Chapter 13

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirteen: **Trying To Forget Her Embrace. Tell Me How To Forget You, Ness.

I didn't know where to go at first. I couldn't risk going to reservation in case the Cullens come to get me back. I drove for hours searching for a place. I remembered Tamara and thought maybe she could help me. It took a while to find her but I found it.

I reached the place late and asked around for Tamara. She lived on the other side of town on a fruit and vegetable farm.

I drove into a paddock and read the sign, 'Callas Fields' and found a large double-story flat. I knocked on the door and a middle-aged woman came out, "How can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm looking for Tamara. Tell her it's Jacob Black for a guitar lesson." I responded.

"Tammy honey! There's a boy named Jacob here for you!" she called.

Tamara ran downstairs, "Hi Jake!" she greeted me.

"I was just wondering, if I could talk to you about something." I said her feeling down.

I told her the whole story and how I'm not going back to be more hurt. It seemed like Tamara was the only person I could talk to right now without sympathy or hurt.

"Wow, that's tough. If you need a place to stay you can stay here." Tamara offered.

"Really?" I asked.

"Sure. I live with my aunt and as long as you help out on the farm I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you stayed." she reassured me.

"Seriously, I don't want to intrude." I told her.

But Tamara was already hallway downstairs and asking her aunt if I could stay.

I heard a plate break and some yelling downstairs. Oh crap. I went downstairs hoping to defend her.

"You want a boy to stay under our roof? How do you know he's no a rapist, a robber or I don't know a murderer?" her aunt questioned.

"Aunt Karen he's not like that!" she told her.

"What if he just wants to sleep with you? You know what boys are like. He could get you pregnant." Her aunt continued.

"It's not like that with Jake. We're just friends. He will never like me." Tamara told her quickly.

"It's true," I started, "I will always love one girl, no one else, only Renesmee."

"Ruh-Nez-May?" she asked confused.

"Yes. I am in love with her. But I left so I wouldn't hold her back from who she really loves. She told me to leave and I listened." I admitted.

She hesitated. "Okay you can stay."

"What?" Tamara and me said in unison.

"You can stay. But you have to help me in the fields; you'll get paid okay? We had vacant positions anyway," she said walking away.

"Thanks," I called out to her.

"Here I'll show you to our guest room. We have a couple so you can pick which ever one suits you." Tamara told me excitedly.

She showed me the first room, which had flowery wallpaper and had a pink bed with white bed sheets and a hot pink covers and pillow. The second room had blue skies as the wallpaper and a metal-framed bed with blue and grey covers over it. I decided to go with the third room. It had white walls and a small wooden closet and desk. Beside the window there was a large wooden bed with white pillows, grey sheets and black and white covers.

I said goodnight to Tamara and went to sleep in my new bedroom in what would be my home.

Tamara's aunt woke me up at 6:00 to work. She made me breakfast which was roast pumpkin with lamb and rosemary. It was great and a lot different to Esme's style of cooking, but nevertheless tasted just as great.

"So Miss Callas is it? What exactly am I going to be doing today?" I asked, "I've worked before but mainly with cars, see I'm a mechanic."

"Please, call me Karen. Since your field is mechanics, do you think maybe you can fix the irrigation system?" she asked.

"Okay Karen. Should be easy!" I replied.

I fixed the irrigation system in no time and helped Karen prune the fruit trees and vegetable plants.

"So who's Renesmee," Karen asked.

I was silent. I missed Renesmee. I tried to distract myself with work all day but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude." She apologized.

"It's okay, she's a girl I've liked for a year now. But what I've felt toward her it's like nothing I've ever felt before. My entire heart was stolen from me and she didn't even know it. But even when I poured my heart out to her, she still chose someone else. Even when I pointed out that the guy was a lying cheater, she still sided with him. But what's pathetic, is that even though she stood me up countless times to be with him, I forgave her and still love her." I sighed.

"That's a lot to feel considering your age. You're what sixteen seventeen?" Karen said, "But I understand that you've been hurt. And now I'm more assured that you won't hurt Tammy. Since you couldn't even hurt the girl who was so selfish toward you. I know someone who's a lot like you. Well the plants aren't going to prune themselves! Let's get working!"

I nodded and continued my work.

After a month I figured out what my daily routine was. In the early morning I would help Karen in the fields attending the fruit trees and vegie plants. From the morning to the afternoon I went to school, in the late afternoon I would be digging holes for new plants and in the evening I would be learning the guitar through Tamara's lessons and doing homework with her. She wasn't very smart so I tutored her and because her marks were improving Karen officially paid me to tutor her. And on Sunday we would rest and go to church and have a day of rest instead of Saturday.

I learnt guitar and over the months wrote and song in which Tamara helped me with the tune, as I still hadn't learnt many of the chords. Tamara and I wrote many ballads together. Sometimes at night I would phase and I would do that on a regular basis.

It was fun, but my heart hurt for Nessie. But as much as it hurt to be away from her, it hurt more to see her with Daniel. I missed her and will always miss her. I don't think the Cullens would ever find me. I hoped that she was all right. And hoped that she would always be happy.


	15. Chapter 14

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Fourteen: **With Out A Friend.

_3 years later._

When I went to school everyone had heard what I had said to Madison. Of course there was no one on my side. No one would side with me after that. Everyday I would hear people call me a bitch without a heart. Even some new transfer students had called me self-centered, selfish, vain and conceited, which was all true.

I had no friends and I couldn't blame anyone else but myself. It was my fault. I focused on my studies and started getting straight As like Jake always did in high school.

Of course, I didn't stay at Academy High School, the bullying got terrible. It started off as small pranks but one time they locked me in the school bathrooms overnight when I was supposed to be on camp. Kids from other grade levels started throwing their food at me. Even the teachers started hating me. I had a bad reputation and my parents couldn't bear to have me crying every day when I came home. It was a terrible time.

The past three years I've been attending McKellan's College and right now I'm in year 12 that means I'm graduating this year in a few months time.

I have a boyfriend who I've been dating since June of this year and he respects me much more than Daniel ever did. His name is Trent and we've been dating for two months. He's wanted to take me on a date on my birthday, which is coming up in a month.

Ever since Jake left, I've felt different. At first I was missing him and my parents tried to get me out of my depressed state by smashing up his room. They tried to get me angry rather than leave me depressed. I didn't feel angry until I saw someone who looked like Jake in the supermarket. I smashed up everything in my room. I kept his charm bracelet in my drawer and I haven't worn it in years. Maybe because it would remind me of how I told him to leave. My guilt.

I felt angry at first but I forgave him. He was my best friend and that feeling towards him doesn't go away in a matter of years. I knew he wasn't coming back and I accepted that. But I was still mad at him nevertheless. He left me, it may have been me who told him to go, but he left me. And he said that he cared about me, that he loved me. What a lie. He was still my friend but still. It hurt, that he left. I really didn't know he had meant it when he told me he was leaving.

I've changed a lot over the years. I'm still selfish at times but I'm a lot more mature. I wasn't going to with my new friends or my family for my boyfriend ever. This time I was going to date right. Trent was a great guy, very smart and decent looking.

He's taking me on a date in a few minutes, which I'm getting ready for right now wearing a red knee length, strapless dress and red heels with gold hoop earrings and a gold necklace that has 'lucky' hanging off it.

"Renesmee!" my mum called. My family stopped calling me Nessie because they were afraid to remind me of Jake, after all he did give me that nickname and. But I wouldn't mind if they started again.

"Trent's here!" she continued.

I went downstairs and Trent stared at me. "You look great, Renesmee." He said.

Trent was such a sweetheart. He told me that he fell for me in History class when he first saw me. Then he got Melissa his best friend to ask me out for him because he was too shy to ask. But it was sweet and I love guys like that getting nervous. After Daniel I hated arrogant guys who thought they were in control of the relationship. I changed to like guys who were sweet, trusting, reliable and loving. And well, that was Trent!

He took me to a French restaurant and we shared a bouillabaisse, I had crème brûlée (sorry but I'm not going to share dessert until we're serious) and he had chocolate mousse.

"I had a great time tonight." Trent told me.

"Yeah me too. I'd love to do this again sometime." I told him.

He was a total sweetie. I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. It has only been two months and I didn't rush into anything. Trent hasn't even kissed me yet. But I guess he was too much of a gentleman. He was rather shy so I would initiate holding his hand and hugs. I mean, if he couldn't ask me out himself how could he bring himself to kiss me? I didn't have to ask right? But he'll probably kiss me when he's ready.

I took his hand and held it. "Hmm… this feels nice." I told him.

"Yeah." He replied. Suddenly he kissed me. I guess I didn't have to initiate that!

"Hey guys!" Melissa greeted us.

He pulled away from me and I smiled. That was my first kiss with Trent.

"Oh hey, Melissa!" I exclaimed.

"Hi Melissa," he greeted her.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

"Um… date." I said shyly.

"Oh well then I'll leave you guys to it!" Melissa said.

"Okay see you tomorrow at school Melissa!" I waved.

I loved Melissa. She was so kind and she was the one who got Trent and me together.

He drove me home and I gave him a kiss goodbye.

"Bye Trent!" I told him.

"See you tomorrow at school Renesmee," he smiled.

I opened the front door and went into the family room. "Mum he kissed me!" I gushed. My mum stared at the floor, looking shocked.

I saw a familiar face I couldn't quite place it. It was him, the person who left me three years ago, coming back into my life. The person who brought me hurt. Memories flooded my mind and I remembered this now stranger to me. Jake.

"Hey Nessie." he told me.


	16. Chapter 15

**Jacob's Point of View**

**Chapter Fifteen: **I'm Sorry Nessie, For Coming Back Into Your Life, For Creating Complications.

Life was good for me for the past three years. I graduated last year, the top of my class. I attended St. Andrews Catholic College with Tamara and even learned how to play guitar, properly.

I knew how all the notes and chords. It was a great time for me. I missed her though, Renesmee. But in the long run, it has been three years and it's too late for me to turn back now. There was no going back.

I got a job as a mechanic helping out but I was deciding where to go to college. I decided to take a gap year to help Karen after all she had done for me and was planning to start college after September this year and learn engineering, business or maybe even in art. Maybe I could do all three. But these years working for Karen I made a lot of money for tuition.

"Hey kiddo. What you thinking about so seriously?" Karen asked me.

"I was just thinking of what college to go to. I've been accepted in Dartmouth but it's where Nessie's parents went. Also close to where they are living currently." I explained.

"Okay Jake. I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before. It was the reason I let you live here." She started.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Remember when I told you that I knew someone who's a lot like you? That's because he was exactly in the same situation. I was in love with him, but we were so close that I never realized that my feelings had changed from a friend to a lover. But I was selfish and my pride interfered with our relationship. We had several disagreements and I said some horrible things to him…" Karen started crying, "But I didn't apologize because my pride got in the way of how I felt. After a few years I realized that I loved him and I tried to find him, I did. But it was too late. He was already married with a kid on the way."

"Wow." I said stunned.

"Anyway," she sniffed, "I guess what I'm trying to say is, go home Jake. You need to see her because it was too late for me. But it's not too late for you. It isn't over for you and you need to get out there and find her and see if she feels the same way. You love someone, you fight for them. When they push you away, you don't move because that's love. You stay and be there with them.

I thought hard for a moment. I did love Renesmee. But I was bound to do every thing she asked. That's what happened when I imprinted on her. I didn't leave because I wanted to, but because she told me to. But ultimately, I missed her. And it hurt me to leave, it hurt me that she didn't love me and it hurt that she loved someone else.

But Karen was right. It's not too late for me. I've still got time, to apologize for leaving and to make things right. I still loved her and I wanted her to love me. Surely she wasn't still with Daniel right?

I had to find out. "Karen, you're right. I'm going to go. But I'll come back okay? Maybe not soon, but I'll be back."

"Good luck kiddo."

I gave her a hug. And ran upstairs to give Tamara a hug and took my car that Karen had bought for me which was a small truck much like Bella's. And then I started my road trip.

I accepted the application to Dartmouth and was starting tomorrow. I had already found a job as a mechanic in a small garage so I could pay for the rent in my new apartment I was moving into today.

After seven or so hours of driving I finally made it to Hanover. I found the Cullen's house and it looked relatively the same. The same cascade of ivy grew over the house with bright light streaming in the open windows. It was once my home.

I knocked on the door. I was wearing jeans, which would be unfortunate if Bella tried to rip off my head and I needed to phase for defense. Hopefully I looked presentable.

Bella opened the door. She looked at me shocked and kept blinking her eyes.

"Hey Bells," I greeted her.

"Jake?" she said unsure.

"Yeah its – " and I blacked out.

I was conscious but refused to open my eyes. I could hear them talking and smell their scent. Opening my eyes I saw that vampires surrounded me but I couldn't see Nessie.

"Jacob can you hear me? When Bella punched your chest you had a bit of cardiac arrest but you should be fine considering you're conscious after just a few minutes." Carlisle told me.

"I'm sorry Jake. But I was mad. You left without even saying goodbye. Do you know how she cried after you left? We had her on prescription for almost a year just so she could sleep. She needed you Jake and you weren't there!"

"She cried for me?" I asked amazed.

"Of course she did. She cares for you." Edward told me.

"That's not true. She told me to leave. She said that she didn't need me and that she meant it when she said leave. Bells, I wouldn't leave even if I wanted to. But because she's my imprint, I listen to her. I'm bound to be what she needs and do what she needs. And she didn't need me." I explained.

"Wait so she told you to leave?" Blondie asked.

"She didn't tell us that." Alice told me.

"She didn't? Well she told me to leave and I did. But I came back. Maybe she needs me now." I sighed.

"Mum he kissed me!" I heard Renesmee gush.

There she was, the girl I'd been missing so much for three years. She was so beautiful. She had a glow to her face she didn't have before. Nessie was more mature now. Wait kissed me? She has a boyfriend. Again. But she was happy so I didn't care for now.

I spoke up, "Hey Nessie!"

"Jake?" she asked her smile instantly dropping from her face.

"I'm back but I'm not staying here. I'll be attending Dartmouth tomorrow so if you don't want me here I'll leave I have an apartment anyway…" I rambled on. But I was silenced by her hug.

"Oh Jake, I missed you so much!" she said while embracing me. Then she hit me on the head, "That was for leaving. I didn't mean it. Why didn't you stay when I needed you the most?"

"I'm sorry Ness, I won't leave anymore okay." I said.

"Ahem! So Jake are you going to stay with us? Your bedroom is still vacant." Carlisle said interrupting our moment.

"No it's really not necessary – " I told him.

Esme interrupted me, 'Nonsense. We wouldn't have it any other way. We insist."

"Yeah Jake stay," Nessie begged me, "You can tell me about your last three years."

"Okay. But only if everyone's fine with it." I said.

"Oh well. I don't mind it's not like the smell went away in the first place. Makes no difference besides making Ness happy." Blondie said.

My phone rang. It was Tamara. "Hey Tammy. Yeah I got there… Yes I'm fine. Say hi to Karen for me okay. Also tell her to cancel the apartment. Yes. Okay. Bye."

Everyone's eyes were on me. Great. Everyone knows I've been living with two girls for the past three years. Damn I forgot Edward. I got used to a thing called privacy.

Edward cleared his throat, knowing my thoughts. "I see you've managed quite well for the past three years."

"Yes. Karen's been great and Tamara taught me how to play the guitar." I responded.

"Who are Tammy and Karen?" Nessie asked.

"I met Tamara by chance and I looked for her again to help me when I left. And so her aunt Karen took me in," I started, "It's because of something Karen told me that made me come back here."

"It's good that you've lived well all these years. Have you had dinner?" Esme asked.

I ate the dinner Esme cooked for me. She made me Italian and I started packing my things into my bedroom. Nessie knocked on my door.

"Jake?" she called softly.

She hugged me. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it when I told you to leave. But you left me. And now you suddenly show up in my life?" she questioned.

"I'm sorry Nessie. But I listened. I thought that maybe you would have a better life without me." I sighed.

"Jake, how will my life be better if you leave? Beside I needed you. Daniel cheated on me. You were right. He was dishonest. But now I'm dating Trent and he's a total sweetie. He hasn't met the family yet except for mum. But I want you to meet him – "

"Renesmee. I still care about you." I told her.

"I know." She continued.

"No I mean I'm still in love with you." I confessed.

Nessie was silent for a while. "It's been three years Jake. You've probably confused the feeling of love with the feeling of missing me."

No. Renesmee. I'm in love with you. I wanted to say this but she put her finger on my mouth.

She told me about her three years without me and I told her about mine. But she soon fell asleep. I used to sleep with Renesmee in my arms when she was younger. I held her in my arms.

Didn't she realize that I was in love with her? I honestly love you Ness. But she can't see it. Was I a man to her now? I changed a lot over the years. I was more demanding much like Renesmee was but she changed too. She wasn't selfish and she was more mature.

With Nessie in my embrace, I quickly fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen: **How Can I Return Back To Your Side When You're Happy In Another's Arms?

"Jake. Wake up." Nessie tapped me slightly on the cheek.

"What is it Ness?" I asked.

"We slept together." she sighed.

"It's no big deal. Nothing happened." I told her.

"But I have a boyfriend. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if I were sleeping with someone even if nothing happened." She explained worried.

"Ness, you're happy right, with Trent." I asked.

"Sure. He's different. He's slightly shy and sweet quite the opposite to Daniel. I'm happy with him." She smiled.

"That's good. And I'm sure he won't overreact cause we didn't do anything." I told her trying to calm her.

She thought about it. "That's true, I guess."

I started attending classes at Dartmouth, which was great. It was different the life in college compared to high school. It was more lectures, less drama. Which is good considering the drama is what caused me to leave last time.

After class, Renesmee took me to meet her new boyfriend, Trent.

"Trent this is Jacob." She introduced us.

"Hey. So you're the guy she slept in the same bed with yesterday," he chuckled, "Nice to meet you." He held out his hand. I seriously thought about punching his face.

The way that Trent reacted was calm. This guy was truly genuine. He didn't overreact and seemed very understanding. It's because of this I didn't fight back. She's happy. How can I interfere? This Trent seemed decent. Not the type to hurt Renesmee or play her. I won't do anything. That glow that radiates off her face, her smile, that's enough to keep me happy. Even if my heart is in pain, it's fine, as long as she's smiling, I'll be fine.

"Nice to meet you." I replied shaking his hand.

A girl with black hair pulled to the side came up to us. "Hey Renesmee. Trent." she greeted them. But the way she looked at Trent. It was like the way I looked at Renesmee. She was in love with him.

"Hey Melissa!" Renesmee exclaimed.

"Hey Mel." Trent said, "This is Jacob, Renesmee's friend."

"We have to go Trent. The movie starts in a few minutes." Renesmee told him.

"Sure Renesmee. Let's go. Bye Jacob. Bye Melissa."

"Bye guys!" Renesmee waved.

I looked at Melissa. "You want to get a coffee together? My lecture starts in a few hours so I have some time."

"Um… okay." She hesitated.

We went into a coffee shop and I ordered a chai latte and she ordered a cappuccino.

It was quiet and I broke the silence, "So I hear that you set Trent and Renesmee up?"

"Sure. It was no big deal." She said with a hint of doubt in her voice.

"I don't understand. Why you would do that if you liked Trent?" I said confused.

Melissa choked on her cappuccino and said, "What? I don't like Trent."

"Its okay I sort of get it. I love Renesmee so it's not like I'm going to tell her about your feelings."

She hesitated. "Okay. I do like Trent but he told me that he liked Renesmee. So I set them up because he didn't want to ask her himself. Because when you love someone…" she stopped.

"You want them to be happy." I finished.

"Exactly." Melissa sighed.

I understood where Melissa was coming from. Maybe I should leave. Nessie really didn't need me this time. She's found someone who even I admit is good for her. Still, if I left Bella would really let me have it. Would life be that bad watching Nessie with another by her side, if it meant I could be beside her? I don't know.

What should I do? I strummed a few chords on my guitar. My voice suddenly started singing. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do." I played a few different notes and some chords to go with it. "Cause I can't stop loving you." I continued. I stopped suddenly when I heard Bella come in.

"Jake? Were you… singing?" she asked surprised.

"Yes." I admitted.

Bella burst out laughing and fell to the floor. She got up and ran downstairs and back up. When she returned upstairs she calmly said, "You and Renesmee should write a song together. Since you play guitar and Renesmee's been learning the piano. Maybe you guys can play together." She covered her mouth trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Bells. Stop laughing. I wasn't that bad was I?" I asked.

"No it's not that you were bad. Cause you were pretty good. It's that fact that you were actually singing." She said grinning.

"Fine. I'll admit I've been more musical the past few years. But I've only ever written songs with Tamara and she plays guitar like me so I'm not sure how the piano will sound with the guitar anyway." I rambled.

"Jake will you at least try? I mean Renesmee's only ever written songs with Edward so my point stands." Bella asked.

"Yes I will. But if it sounds terrible you can't blame me." I told her.

Renesmee wasn't coming home for dinner, which was okay since she actually called to cancel. This time she wasn't with Trent and she was actually out with some of her friends working on a group assignment for English.

After dinner I continued to sing. "You're breaking my heart…" I strummed a few different chords. "Just one thing I can't have." I decided to write my song down into a journal that Tamara bought me last year for my birthday. Then I edited. I wasn't finished.

_Those things that you gave to me, I don't really need_

_There's only one thing that you'll never give to me._

_You've found somebody else, that someone isn't me._

_You don't know that my heart's breaking._

_I pray that you will always be happy._

_Your tender smile is what keeps me living._

_You stole my heart away and you don't even know._

_How you have hurt me so._

_Please, be happy_

_I gave you my heart._

_Can't you hear me?_

_I love you so much._

_Can't you see that you're breaking me? Oh yeah._

_Promise me you won't ever forget that I _

_Will always be here if you need me around._

_Please don't doubt that cause I'm staying to find a place inside your heart. _

_I'll never leave again._

"Jake?" Nessie said, "Was that you singing?"

My cheeks were on fire. "Yeah… that was me." I admitted.

"Wow, you sound nice! Is that your songbook? Can I read it?" Nessie asked.

I quickly took the book and held in behind my back, "No. You can't!"

"Okay. Well mum said we should write a song together. I'm not that great at the piano so we can just write a song using the guitar." She said.

"That's fine with me." I smiled.

And we began to write our song.


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:** Back To The Old Times – B.D. (Before Daniel)

"Jake!" she shrieked. "No stop!"

I was tickling the hell out of her. "Not until you say it!"

"Okay! Okay!" she yelled and I took my hands off her, "Idiot," she added rolling her eyes and smiling.

"Nope. Not good enough!" I continued tickling her.

She laughed again and called out, "Stop, stop, stop! Okay I take it back!"

"Fine." I grinned.

"We still have an hour till dinner. Want to finish our song?" Nessie smiled.

"Sure." I replied.

Our song. I've heard Nessie I sing when she was little but hearing again after so many years was astonishing. It was great.

_Renesmee:_

_ I know that sometimes I can be,_

_A little bit mean and crazy,_

_Jacob:_

_But I keep running from you,_

_Bear with me, like you always do._

_Together (chorus): _

_I hope you know that,_

_I'm right beside you,_

_Through the good times and the bad,_

_I'm always here if you need me,_

_I hope you see that I won't be leaving again._

_Whenever you need me,_

_I'll be there, beside you._

_You're forever my best friend, _

_Hope you can see that I love you no matter what,_

_When you need me, I hope that you know that _

_I'll be there._

_Renesmee:_

_You always know just what to do,_

_So that I can't stay mad at you._

_Jacob:_

_And you know how to make me smile,_

_When I've been down for a while._

_Together (chorus): _

_I hope you know that,_

_I'm right beside you,_

_Through the good times and the bad,_

_I'm always here if you need me,_

_I hope you see that I won't be leaving again._

_Whenever you need me,_

_I'll be there, beside you._

_You're forever my best friend, _

_Hope you can see that I love you no matter what,_

_When you need me, I hope that you know that _

_I'll be there._

_Renesmee:_

_I hope you remember those times we had,_

_Jacob:_

_I'll always remember those times we shared._

_Renesmee:_

_And I hope you know that I'll always care._

_Jacob:_

_I hope you remember I'm always there._

_Together: _

_We'll always remember those great memories,_

_And we'll never forget what we shared. Oh~_

_Together (chorus): _

_I hope you know that,_

_I'm right beside you,_

_Through the good times and the bad,_

_I'm always here if you need me,_

_I hope you see that I won't be leaving again._

_Whenever you need me,_

_I'll be there, beside you._

_You're forever my best friend, _

_Hope you can see that I love you no matter what,_

_When you need me, I hope that you know that _

_I'll be there._

_Oh, I'll always be there._

_Mhmm…_

"It sounds great Jake, I didn't know you were such a great songwriter!" Nessie complimented me.

"Oh come on, you wrote some of it too!" I said.

"Yeah I but I only wrote my parts." Nessie explained.

"But you also worked out the tune," I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Jake," she looked at me sternly, "You had the guitar."

I opened my mouth to say something but I had nothing.

She poked her tongue out and I started tickling her so much.

"Hey guys, Esme made you guys dinner. It's…" Bella started but we raced downstairs.

"I think I broke…" I looked down and saw an unbroken lamp had fallen off the table, "No, it's good!"

For once in my life I felt different. I know that Ness still didn't feel that way toward me but our relationship was back to what it was before Daniel ever happened. I still had sadness because Nessie was still not with me but I was happy. I would rather have this than have no kind of relationship with her. Nothing could make this go away.

"Trent's here Renesmee!" Bella said.

"I'm here to pick Renesmee up for a date." He said.

"You didn't tell me about a date!" Nessie replied shocked.

"I wanted to surprise you. Now let's go!" Trent smiled.

Nessie looked at me. "Go." I told her.

"Really," she hugged me, "Thanks Jake! I'll be back Trent. Just have to get dressed."

And there it was my whole world collapsing again. You may think that I'm over exaggerating, but it hurt. I gave permission for her to go out on a date with someone else. That hurt. What happens if I die? Will my ghost forever yearn for Nessie's love?


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen: **Waiting – Waiting – Please Come.

I was bored without Renesmee. I decided to read a bunch of my emails. There was a new one from Tamara and some others.

_Hey Jakey!_

_Just wondering if you were doing great over there! I want you to know we did something for you. Check your emails on the 24__th__ of August. _

_We applied under your name to many Music Companies. I sent them a bunch of songs that YOU wrote and that video of that time we did a duet so they can hear your voice. You're a great songwriter Jake and a pretty great singer. Hopefully you don't forget us when you're all rich and famous! Just jokes. But if you do get in I mean it. _

_But don't reject any of these opportunities cause you know what they say they don't come that often. _

_Take a chance Jake you deserve it._

_Love Tamara and Karen sends her love too. XOXO_

What was the date? Wow. It's the 24th of August. I didn't know what to expect except maybe a bunch of rejection letters. Which was really true, except this one company called LABEL had accepted me.

_To Jacob Black,_

_You have been accepted. Even though you are 18, which is a little older than the usual talented people we make stars of but you are much too talented to lose. _

_Your starting salary is $1.5 million per year, but of course if you become more famous and you start acting that number might increase. Being honest, I have to tell you that this job isn't easy. I hope you understand that your job will be as a singer/song writer._

_This is a deal I will not be offering again. _

_But I hope you can accept my offer and join us at LABEL._

_Sincerely, Vincent Wilson, Producer of LABEL._

_Email back at this address if you are interested._

_vincentwilson .au_

Crap. Should I take that deal? But I just promised her I wouldn't leave her again. What about Dartmouth? My studies? If I leave this time, it'd be for good. There was no turning back.

"Bells?" I called.

"Jake what is it?" she asked.

"I got a job offer." I started.

"Really? Congrats!" she smiled.

"It's as a singer though at a record company called LABEL. It's in America." I finished.

"Jake. You're leaving again?"' She said shocked.

"No, I don't want to take it. But it's a one-time offer." I sighed.

"Take it then. Jake I don't want Renesmee or any of us to hold you back." Bella sighed.

"I don't really want to take it though." I admitted.

"Then you're staying?" she asked.

"Maybe. I don't know. I have a week to decide." I said.

I had to find Nessie. I had to tell her. Maybe if I just concentrated with my heart I could find her. She wasn't far. I could find her soon.

She was alone in the park reading a book, Wuthering Heights. Just like her mother.

"Jake?" she said.

"Nessie. I got a job offer." I started.

"Why are you so sad then?" she asked.

"Because if I take it, I'll have to move." I stated.

"Jake…" she said. Nessie fluttered her eyes but she didn't cry. I was leaning towards her to give her a kiss on the cheek but I instead I kissed her warm tender lips. But then I pulled away and our eyes met. Her eyelashes blinked heavily and she took a while to process what just happened.

And she slapped me. Did anyone sense a bit of déjà vu?

"Why do you do that?" she said loudly.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Ruin my relationships! First Daniel then you see me with Trent and how am I going to explain this to him?" she panicked.

"Me ruin your relationships? Daniel was not my fault!" I yelled.

"Just go Jake. Leave for whatever place you are going to!" Nessie yelled back.

"Ness, you don't mean that." I said shocked.

"No this time I really do. I don't need you here so you don't have to stay for me anymore." she said turning away.

Her shoulder hunched over and she was shaking. Was she crying?

"Ness are you okay?" I put my hand on her shoulder but she jerked it off.

"I'm fine, Jacob. Just go okay? Please, just leave."

So I did. For the second time I left, after spending just a week there. I told the head of Dartmouth I wasn't attending anymore and emailed Vincent that I was accepting his offer. I went home to pack my things and said a proper good bye to the Cullens, this time leaving Renesmee a note.

_Dear Nessie,_

_You can keep our song. I hope you can forgive me for kissing you. It was meant to be a kiss on the cheek but you turned and I got your mouth instead. But I hope you forgive me anyway. _

_I just wanted to say goodbye and I want you to know, you're in my heart always. Even after all those years passed I never once stopped loving you, wishing you were with me instead of those idiots you date. _

_Maybe we can meet again, soon, maybe not though. You made me pathetic. You changed me into a person who waited by the phone for your call. You made me happy when you were happy, sad when you were sad. But sometimes hurt, because you were happy. _

_Goodbye Renesmee Cullen._

_Love Jake._

"Make sure Ness gets this." I told Bella who nodded cause if she said anything she would burst into tears.

"Jacob, I hope you know, I was on your side." He said.

Vincent came to pick me up at the airport.

"My new star!" he said, "Wait here, I'm just going to sort out some things for when we land."

"Sure," I told him.

"Okay I'll be back. You can go look around, there's still 45 minutes till we get on the flight." he told me.

I waited in the lobby with high hopes. Please Nessie, if you come here now. And tell me to stay, I will without hesitation. This was different to when I was waiting in the rain. I was waiting for her to come and tell me to stay. Just come here and tell me you need me to stay and I will never even think of leaving again. There was still time. If you just told me to stay. I will.


	20. Chapter 19

**Renesmee's Point Of View:**

**Chapter Nineteen:** Time-Machine.

I couldn't tell him to stay. Maybe it would be better if he left. I'll be fine without him.

But deep down, I wanted him to stay. I just couldn't say it. For the second time I put my pride before him again. I hated this. But maybe he could have a better life if I just let him be. I really didn't mean it Jake, I was just mad.

I knew this time, he really wouldn't stay. He was probably on a plane right now so there was no turning back now.

Esme was probably so devastated. I remember we had a conversation after Jake left. How sad she was that Jake left, because it reminded her of how she lost her child, the reason she committed suicide and Carlisle saved her. I felt bad after that. I couldn't bear to face my family again.

I took a deep breath as I opened the doors. I expected to see the same scene I saw three years ago. But to my surprise my family was okay. They were smiling for Jake. Wishing him the best in life. I was glad they were okay.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be sad?" I asked.

"Oh Renesmee, we'll always miss him of course, but he gave us a proper goodbye. Besides he's moving on to better things." My mum told me.

"Well okay then. I guess," I hesitated then sighed, I missed him.

"Look, Jake left you a letter. Here," she handed me a letter.

_Dear Nessie,_

_You can keep our song. I hope you can forgive me for kissing you. It was meant to be a kiss on the cheek but you turned and I got your mouth instead. But I hope you forgive me anyway. _

_I just wanted to say goodbye and I want you to know, you're in my heart always. Even after all those years passed I never once stopped loving you, wishing you were with me instead of those idiots you date. _

_Maybe we can meet again, soon, maybe not though. You made me pathetic. You changed me into a person who waited by the phone for your call. You made me happy when you were happy, sad when you were sad. But sometimes hurt, because you were happy. _

_Goodbye Renesmee Cullen._

_Love Jake._

I read it then just burst into tears. Why was I always so selfish? I didn't understand how a person can be such a… I cried and ran upstairs to my room.

I thought about all those times he had been there for me, all those times that he wasn't. He was always there for me during the good and the bad. When I embarrassed myself at the mall by putting too much make up on my face and I looked ridiculous he put even more make up on and practically looked like a cake face. Or the time I was upset because I couldn't go to school (this is before high school) he wrote in permanent marker 'idiot' on his forehead and made me laugh all day. That didn't come off for a week.

I took out the charm bracelet he gave me a few weeks before he left the first time. I stared at it, all these years I had never worn it. But I was going to wear it from now on. I tried to manage the clasp by myself but I couldn't get it to fasten on my own, the bracelet fell to the floor and the treasure chest opened and something white fell out. It was a note.

_I vow to love you always. You didn't know it but I've been in love with you since the day you turned eighteen, physically. I promise you this, I could never leave you without your consent and as long as you let me be beside you, I'll never let you cry a tear of sadness. Every flaw you might have, to me makes you perfect. Cause to me, you are the reason to live. I love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Forever Jacob Black._

Forever. I know he still loved me, I just didn't know that his crush on me years ago was actually love as well. I really didn't understand why he could like a person so selfish. Jake could have done so much better than me. Like Tamara the girl who took him in or Olivia even.

He loved me that much. For three years, even longer than that he only looked at me. Even though I never once reciprocated those feelings, he didn't move on.

I had to stop him. I ran downstairs.

"Mum! When does Jake's flight leave?" I said gasping for air.

"Whoa, just breathe. What did you say?" she asked.

Thank gosh dad was there, "7:30 Renesmee Gate 11. You have 10 minutes. Do you want me to drive you?" he asked me.

"No I can run." I smiled.

I still had time. I had never run so fast in my life. Never had I felt human pain, something my friends called a stitch. It hurt as much as my period cramps but I had to get there and stop him. And tell him how much I cared for him, how much I loved him too.

Why didn't I see it before? I was such an idiot I didn't know. All my life we built this bond together, everyday it grew even when we were apart. We were always this close; I didn't realize that the closeness between us had changed into love. I'm really a stupid idiot I let this love slip between my fingers. I could never forgive myself if I didn't make it. I ran so fast as if I was running for my life. To me, Jake was life. I remember when he left, I felt so incomplete. These past few days having him there made me happy.

When I got there I was going to be on my knees begging him to stay. I would be begging for his forgiveness. For making him wait so long to return my love. Give him a real kiss rather than the peck that he gave me on the lips.

I went through the airport and I had to get past the luggage area. I didn't want to end up in custody for going to the Gate area without a boarding pass. Damn it. I just have to run really fast and hopefully no one can see me and I don't bump into anyone. I ran out to where the plane was taking off.

I watched, as the plane with Jake was so small in the sky, so far away like a shooting star. Tears streaming down my face, as I realized I was too late. I opened my mouth but no words came out, only the screams of my heart calling out his name desperately. I checked my phone for the time and I was three minutes too late.

I hate myself for telling him to leave once again. For all those years I hurt him so much. I hurt him so badly; yet he never once told me that I was selfish or self centered but endured his pain silently. I couldn't imagine what he went through until this very night. Time seemed to stop and freeze. Every second of pain, passed by like hours to me. I didn't have the strength to just apologize. I kept making this mistake.

I tried calling so many times. But I knew that it wouldn't work cause he was in the air. But I knew in a few hours I could try calling again.

Who was going to make me smile when I'm down? Who was going to make me laugh? How was I going to live without him when I love him? Is this my life now, crying all the time when he's not here? He was always there for me, to cheer me up, talk with me when I needed it and share the silence when I don't.

There was no one left. No one I could talk to about everything. Even if I begged him to come back, he wouldn't listen. I blamed myself. I wish I were born with different power. If I could turn back the time, I would. If I could take it back I would.


	21. Chapter 20

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twenty: **She Never Shows Up Does She? – Fame, Fortune and Popularity.

I waited patiently. I don't know why the time seemed to pass by so quickly I could feel time was running out. She wasn't coming. She had hours to stop me. But I guess she did mean it this time. When she said she wasn't coming.

"Are you ready?" Vincent asked me.

"Let's go." I told him.

I got onto the plane, where Vincent had booked us first class seats. Before the plane took off, I sent a message to everyone in La Push. I emailed them before but no one really checks their emails. I told my sisters Rebecca and Rachel that I will forever miss them and to visit Billy for me.

Finally the plane took off. I took one last look down, as the plane was about 10 metres into the sky, nothing. She really didn't come.

"I just wanted to ask you Jacob if you wanted to use a stage name instead of Jacob Black. Like JB?" he told me.

"What's wrong with Jacob Black?" I asked.

"Nothing. Everything's easier when you have a stage name. Your fans don't even have to know your real name then." Vincent explained.

"Sure. I don't really mind anyway." I replied.

"You must be tired. You can rest if you'd like." he told me.

I closed my eyes pretending to sleep. I wish I stayed, I wish I stuck around. I may have been pathetic. But I didn't mind being an idiot as long as I was her idiot.

_2 years later._

I was world renowned JB. No one really knew my first name except my housemates and Vincent. I remember my first year at LABEL, I was so nervous cause I was working with many other celebrities.

They called me Newbie when I first started out but now there's a new Newbie. But I didn't mind. I starred in four movies these past two years. I won an award for 'Song Of The Year' for the song, 'Sick' and got nominated for Best Lead Actor for playing the lead role in 'Ultimatum'.

I could feel lights flashing in my eyes. I was wearing jeans, a black leather jacket, a white shirt and a cap on my head. I had sunglasses for the flashes from those blinding cameras of the Paparazzi.

"JB!" "Tell me about your new movie!" "Is it true you're dating Tiffany Lowell?" "Are you going on a tour this year?" "Are you dating Lily Stiles?" a bunch of reporters questioned me.

Vincent taught me to stay calm and leave these things to him.

"No, JB is not dating Tiffany Lowell or Lily Stiles. They are friends. Also in answer to the question about the tour, he is going to tour America with his breakout album, 'Heart Breaker' also his new song that he'll release tonight. JB is starring the lead role in a movie, I can't tell you the title yet."

We walked off with a bunch of security guards after and before me.

My new life for me was different. I rarely went back to La Push but sometimes they would come here. Even then we couldn't go out in case of the press. I hadn't seen the Cullens for the past two years. I would always send a check to Karen and Tamara for hiring people to help since I couldn't and of course a check to my sisters in La Push.

The long hair I grew over the years I cut short. Vincent said it would double my fan base. A lot of his ideas really insulted me. But he was a great agent. He always booked tours, concerts, charity benefits and interviews to boost my reputation.

I had a concert going on tonight. I lived in a double story house with Naomi, Sierra and Drake as my housemates. They all worked at LABEL too.

Naomi was a singer too like me. She liked pop and punk. Sometimes Vincent would make us do a joint concert where we sang songs together.

Sierra was an actress only. She starred in many Hollywood films and started out young. I'm actually working with her in a new production "Bitten." Ironic, a vampire movie, but I'm the vampire.

Drake was music writer. He wrote song of the songs I had to sing. Vincent only releases songs he think will sell. That included pop and rock, well anything that would make teenage girls go crazy. Some of my ballads he would release only to let my fan girls in on my soft side.

I got ready for my comeback concert. I was going to sing my new single 'You & I'. I straightened my dark grey tie and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked roughly 19 still. My fans think I'm 18 – Vincent's idea not mine. But no one knew my real age. Vincent thinks I'm 20 but I was actually 29.

I went through my head the routine I practiced for months. I got up on the stage. The spotlight shining on me, I squinted my eyes and looked at the audience.

"Hello Times Square!" I greeted the cheering crowd loudly, "I hope you like my new song. It's called 'You & I.'"

I began playing my electric guitar, hitting all the notes as I began to sing. A little wink there and smile over there. Girls were screaming their heads off as I sung. And then they were silent but they started screaming. I looked behind me, I saw myself holding a sign with 'Would You Be My Girlfriend?' That was so photo shopped! I was going to kill Vincent after the concert, but I just went along with it for now.

I finished my song and I took a break. I swear I saw some girls in the audience fainting over me. But I didn't want her as my girlfriend. Just one person I wanted. It was still always going to be her. I couldn't let her go even after all these years, after all those times she stood me up and after all the times she told me to go.

The next song I was singing had a dance routine with it. I was going to sing 'Goodbye'. Which is based on Renesmee and I. What could have been if she had just stopped me from leaving, could we have been happy? I wonder… does she ever think of me? Cause I think of her everyday. Always, my love for you is like this, we meet again and I leave.

The crowd was quiet as I sang this ballad. I kept contact with the audience. After a few more songs from my latest album the concert was finally over.

"Vincent!" I called out to him.

He was there talking with a girl. Bronze hair, chocolate eyes and beautiful smile. No it couldn't be. Why did she come after all these years? If she wanted me she should have stopped me then.

"JB, this is Renesmee, she wanted to meet you. Apparently you guys know each other?" Vincent explained.

There she was, the girl I wanted to see for the past two years.

"Hi Jacob."


	22. Chapter 21

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twenty-One: **First Move.

I tried calling him that night. Everyday I would cry and try calling him again but the call would automatically disconnect. After about five months I gave up. I decided to move on.

But when I decided to move on in life that's when Jacob decided to get famous. I started to see him everywhere. Billboards, his voice on the radio, his interviews on TV and my friends' obsession with 'JB' constantly reminded me of my grief and depression.

That hurt. A lot.

But these past two years I've been attending Dartmouth and I've been studying medicine. My dad wants me to become a doctor like Carlisle but he's respected my choices when I chose to work with medicine rather than operating on patients.

I can't believe the one person I thought would always be there for me was not there for my graduation. Jake, he didn't come back this time. I didn't think he would. He was famous now. So there wasn't any reason for him to come back, unless he still loves me. Doesn't he?

If he did he would answer my calls. If he loved me he would come to visit. If he cared about me he would always be there for me.

The thing is, it was my fault. I always told him to leave. But in a way, that was me telling him to go off and chase the road of success. Maybe that was what was best for him. After all I do want what's best for him. So I can't blame him for leaving.

But I really wanted him to know. That I did try to get him back, I just didn't make it on time. That night, when he took off to become a world-renowned star, it broke my heart. I tried to call but it didn't seem to work, it was never Jake on the line but this guy named Vincent. After a few days of calling him, the phone automatically disconnected the call as if Jake had blocked my number.

I'm not with Trent anymore; I'm not with anyone anymore. He loved me but he loved Melissa more. So I broke up with him so he could try a relationship with Mellissa. And now they're happily engaged. I guess best friends really do create the best relationships. Of course I'm happy for them. I wasn't really sad over the break up, only the fact that Jacob left again after only a few weeks of staying.

I made my way downstairs for breakfast. Today Esme, Carlisle, Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were hunting. I heard the rest of my family talking.

"Edward, do you think maybe we should tell her?" Aunt Rosalie asked.

"No. She can't know we have to respect Jacob's wishes." He said abruptly.

"But it's not like she will be forced into love. Renesmee can still choose even if she knows about the imprint. She still has a choice the imprintee always has a choice." Aunt Rosalie explained.

I ran downstairs. "What's an imprint?"

My Aunt Rosalie opened her mouth but my father snapped, "It's nothing Renesmee."

"NO. If it's concerning me then I have a right to know." I argued.

"Edward," my mum started, "She's not a kid anymore. Look at her. She's our age in every way physically and mentally. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she knows."

"Bella. Jacob told us not to tell. We promised we would let him tell her himself." he sighed.

"No – You promised. So if we tell her it's not your fault." My mum told him.

"Okay so block your ears Edward you don't know anything. Renesmee, so it's like this. An imprint is something werewolves do to find their soul mate – their best absolute match in this world." My aunt explained.

"So that has what to do with me?" I asked.

"Jacob imprinted you." Aunt Rosalie finished.

Jacob. Imprinted. Me. The reasons why he was so overprotective of me, always out to get my boyfriends; why he always looked at me so lovingly. Why he seemed to love me no matter how much of a bitch I was. Why he always listened to my every word. He loved me. This I would never be able to understand, the fact that every time I was with somebody else he would have that hurt in his eyes. Why he always asked me – if I loved somebody else. It took a while to process. My soul mate – Jacob.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked still shocked.

"Because he didn't want us to tell you," my father sighed.

"Why not?" I asked, "It would have prevented a lot of the crap that took place in the last 5 years."

"Renesmee, you don't know that for sure. How can you be sure that if Jacob told you about the imprint that you would have stopped dating Daniel or Trent?" my dad explained.

"But, if he just told me – maybe I would have known earlier that I loved him too." I stated.

"You love Jacob? Since when?" Aunt Rose asked.

"Edward did you know about this?" my mum asked

"No how could I when you've been shielding her thoughts ever since she started going out with Trent." my father clarified.

"Since he left. I found a note he wrote for me five years ago that was hidden in my charm bracelet. That's when I realized that I loved him too. I was just too stubborn to admit it – and the thought of liking my best friend – I pushed the thought away so many times." I said dazed in a pool of my own thoughts.

"Renesmee – if you want to put off studies for a bit – we can book you a flight to New York, I think he's having a concert there. You can meet him. Explain to him how you feel. Maybe he can also tell you more about imprinting." My father offered.

"Dad. Really thanks." I smiled and then hugged him.

He imprinted me. I think that meant he should love me eternally?

I packed my things and said goodbye to my family. Confess my feelings. That is a hard thing for me to do. In today's society the guy asks the girl – the guy confesses first. Technically Jake confessed to me first but it was so long ago and now it was my turn.

When I saw him I didn't quite know what to say. He looked different in person. Jake had just finished his concert and was walking down wearing a semi formal outfit: jeans, a grey button-up shirt and a tie. Different.

He saw me and his eyes widened and blinked as if he didn't believe I was there.

"Hi Jacob." I smiled.


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two: **Fallen.

"Nessie?" he asked astonished, "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see you. Can we talk?" I asked him.

"Sure just come with me. If the press saw us they could mistake you as my girlfriend." He grabbed my hand. I prayed he wouldn't look at my and see my blushing face as he held my hand.

He led my to a room with 'JB' on it. I guess he lived by his stage name now.

"This is my dressing room. So what did you want to talk to me about?"

I hugged him first. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. What is it that is so important that you flew to New York?" he asked me.

"Jake, why didn't you ever tell me that you imprinted me?"

"Nessie how did you…?" his face dropped, "They told you didn't they?"

We heard flashes outside the door. Ugh…paparazzi. Jake sure was famous.

"Ja – " I started but he grabbed my hand again. "No time to explain I'll tell you later. We have to hide you somewhere."

He took me out the back of the building. And handed me some keys.

"You know how to drive right?" he asked me while unlocking a jet black Ferrari.

"Yes but Jake – " I tried to say. He opened the car door and pushed me into the driver's seat.

"Not now Ness. Just get out of here. The press could make your life miserable. If they see you, you'll have no privacy! Bye Nessie. Drive safe. I'll call you later." He shut the car door.

I was disappointed but grateful. He still cared enough to hide me from the media. I'm glad that he wanted to protect me. Jacob – my knight in shining armor rescuing me from the evil paparazzi.

I opened the door to a hotel I was staying at for – well, however long it takes. I watched the news channel and sure enough, new cover story. 'JB's mystery girl.'

"Witnesses say that they heard JB and another girl talking in his dressing room. What were they talking about and who could this lucky, mystery girl be?" the girl reported in TV.

Ugh. Those people have no right. Just mind your own business and give celebrities their privacy. My phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"It's Jacob."

"Jake? So can you please explain imprinting to me?" I pleaded.

"I can't believe they told you," he muttered. "I don't know what to tell you. What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know. Like when did you imprint me?"

"Ugh, Ness. It might sound weird but I imprinted you when you were born…"

"What?" I said astonished.

"It's not like I loved you in that way when you were born. But when a werewolf imprints someone and that person is still an infant then the feelings toward that person are like a brother or protector. But when that person matures then that's when you feel love towards them." He explained.

"Wow." I thought out loud.

"I never saw myself explaining this to you over the phone."

"Well, do you want to meet up tomorrow at central park? I have some more things to say." I asked him.

"Sure. I'll be disguised so if you don't recognize me I'll be wearing a black hoodie and dark blue jeans, and a red and white cap."

"Okay so 12:00?" I asked.

"Sure. See you tomorrow Ness. Bye I got to go." He hung up.

I couldn't wait. I got up at 10:30 leaving me and hour to get ready and half and hour to get there. I took a shower and wrapped a towel around me. I looked around in my suitcase, which only held a few nice dresses.

"Hmmm. Black? White?" I said to myself while holding dresses in front of the mirror and seeing if it looked okay.

Black didn't seem right. It seemed more the type of thing someone would wear at a club. So I put on my white cocktail dress. It made me look pure, innocent kind of like a little girl. It was strapless, with a ruffled skirt – A-line and a nice bow in the middle. Just needed to accessorize: a black headband with a bow on it and the charm bracelet he gave me to complete my outfit. Crap shoes! I put on a pair of black and white wedges.

I called out for a taxi and I waited on a bench at Central Park. It was 11:56 so Jake would be here in no time. At 12:15 I called him because he was running a bit late and then I saw him heading over towards me.

I sighed a sigh of relief. "I thought you weren't going to make it."

"Sorry I'm late I had to meet with Vincent about my schedule," he smiled, "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

I flushed and looked down. "I just wanted to say…"

He was smiling so sweetly and I was so nervous. Jake was sort of cute. I never noticed. No wonder his fan girls are totally crazy for him – well JB.

"I love you Jake, I think I always have. I just didn't know cause you know that we were always so close and I just didn't realize that my feelings had changed into love. I know you love me and now we can be together. Forever, like you wrote to me five years ago," I blurted out all at once.

He was staring at me and thinking really hard.

"Forever?" he asked.

"Yes Jake." I hugged him as tightly as possible.

He shook me off. "No Renesmee. We can't be together forever."

"I…don't…understand." I couldn't find the words to say.

"I don't love you anymore." He said to me coldly.

"Jake…you don't love me?" I said hurt and my eyes watery.

"No I don't! I moved on Ness. I hope you do too!" he said walking off.

He called me Ness. "No. I'm not giving up no matter what you say Jake."

He turned around for a moment as I said what I said next.

"I know you still love me you probably just don't want to admit it cause I've hurt you before and you don't want to get hurt again. But I love you Jake I really do so I'm not giving up on us and I know you don't want to give up on us either cause if you wanted to give up on us then you wouldn't call me by Ness."

"I don't love you Renesmee. Just let it go." He told me bluntly.

He took one last look at me and I looked at him pleadingly, my eyes begging him to stay. But he turned around once again and left me. People looked at me as I said those words. I didn't cry because deep down I knew that he loved me. He's put up a lot of crap from me. He just doesn't want to love me anymore cause I hurt him a lot over the past few years.

I went home. I wasn't going to give up. I won't give up. Whatever he says he won't be able to change my mind.

I texted him 'I'm not giving up on us Jake. Not now, not ever. I know deep down this love means a lot to you even if you don't want to tell me so. I love you Jake. A lot. And I'm sorry it took me this long to say it.' I hit the send button.


	24. Chapter 23

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twenty-Three: **Forgive Me Ness. I'm So Sorry But It's Too Late For This – For Us. Where It All Went Wrong.

This was never meant to happen. I never wanted to see her get hurt.

"I love you Jake, I think I always have. I just didn't know cause you know that we were always so close and I just didn't realize that my feelings had changed into love. I know you love me and now we can be together. Forever, like you wrote to me five years ago," she told me.

There Nessie was, saying the words I had wanted to hear all these years. But we couldn't be together – at least not forever.

"Forever?" I asked.

"Yes Jake." She hugged me tightly.

I shook her off. "No Renesmee. We can't be together forever."

Nessie looked shocked, "I…don't…understand," she stuttered.

"I don't love you anymore." I gritted through my teeth. I'm so sorry Nessie.

"Jake…you don't love me?" I said. My heart broke as tears started to form in her eyes and dampened her rosy cheeks. The sight of Ness crying was too much to bear. I never wanted her to get hurt.

"No I don't! I moved on Ness. I hope you do too!" I couldn't bear to say this but I had to. This is for the better.

"No. I'm not giving up no matter what you say Jake." She called out to me.

I turned around for a moment as she continued to say what hurt me so much.

"I know you still love me you probably just don't want to admit it cause I've hurt you before and you don't want to get hurt again. But I love you Jake I really do so I'm not giving up on us and I know you don't want to give up on us either cause if you wanted to give up on us then you wouldn't call me by Ness."

One last time I took my final glance at her as her eyes pleaded with me. But I mustered up my strength to leave.

"I don't love you Renesmee. Just let it go." I said as coldly as I could

I'm so sorry Nessie. I really did it for the better. You wanted a forever but I can't be with you – forever. I don't want to hurt you. But if you love me then how would you live when I'm dead. I don't want to put you through that so I'm letting you go.

I've started aging again. With the press and paparazzi following me I haven't been able to phase these past two years. I'm not a werewolf anymore – I'm only human. I can't be immortal with you. Move on Ness. You can be happy with someone else who can promise you forever. I'm not that guy. So I'm sorry.

I heard my phone beep. 'I'm not giving up on us Jake. Not now, not ever. I know deep down this love means a lot to you even if you don't want to tell me so. I love you Jake. A lot. And I'm sorry it took me this long to say it.'

Nessie wasn't going to give up. She was so stubborn just like Bella. I knew what I had to do. I texted her, 'Renesmee meet me in front of Starbucks. I have something to say.'

Please don't come. Please don't come and just please, please give up on me. I prayed that I wouldn't see you as I turned around but nevertheless she came.

"Jake!" she yelled at me smiling. How could I do this to her? She thinks I love her and I do – but she can't know.

"Naomi!" I said looking away from Ness.

I hugged Naomi – my roommate and kissed her. My eyes looked over to Nessie who was crying silently as she watched me. I closed my eyes and continued to kiss Naomi. I opened my eyes once more to see if she had left. She was still there. Why didn't you give up on me in the first place? Why do you have to be so stubborn?

"Jake." Nessie said softly.

I pulled away from Naomi. "See Ness. I found someone else, much more suited to my tastes. She's a celebrity too, like me. We're perfect together."

"But Jake –" Ness started.

" – Naomi, can you give us a moment to talk?" I interrupted.

"Sure Jake. Talk later okay?" she told me. Naomi walked away. I owed her big time. I had a lot to explain once I got home.

"Jake, you imprinted me. We were meant to be. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" she asked as her eyes watered full of hurt.

"Renesmee, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't mean anything to me. We had a chance years ago and you destroyed that." I said as coldly as I could.

"So. You. Don't. Love. Me?" Nessie managed to say through her tears.

"No I don't." I told her harshly.

"Because of me? It's because of me right? I kept pushing you away." Nessie cried even harder. Why was she blaming herself? Please don't blame yourself Nessie – it's not your fault.

"It's not you Ness. It's really just me. I got over you. Give up Renesmee. We were never meant to be. Just because I imprinted you doesn't mean we'll be together. Remember that!" I said walking off.

"Fine Jake! Run away. Like you always do," she said with tears streaming down her face, "I'll leave then."

I watched as she ran away from me. She didn't hit me, punch me or even tell me to go to hell. Nessie was hurt and she didn't even try to make it hard for me. I wish she did. I would rather she hit me and it would make me feel better than the pain I felt now as she dealt with her pain inside without a word.

I'm so sorry for this Nessie. I knew if I hurt her bad enough she would give up on me. I didn't want to do this but I knew this would stop her stubbornness. The hurt in her eyes as she looked at me kissing another girl and the hurt in my eyes as I watched her heart break. I will forever live in grief remembering that moment, that night. But I did what I had to.

"Sorry Naomi. That was the favour I needed." I told her.

"Okay? But um can I just ask why?" Naomi asked.

"So she can give up. Thanks Naomi." I smiled.

"Is this about the girl you love so much?" she asked another question.

"Yeah."

"Then why do you want her to give up? I hear you talking about this girl day and night since you moved in with us. Why are you wanting for her to give up?" she asked confused.

"It's complicated. I'm only human. I guess I just have to let her go." I said the truth. Of course she didn't know what I had really meant.

"Okay well I have to go to the studio and record my new album. See you back home." she ran off.

"Bye." I walked off. I couldn't phase anymore. I missed the times I would just run on all fours and release my anger and hurt. Now I just had to run indoors on a treadmill cause I can't go out in public often. I was a long walk I took in the city of New York. I missed La Push: the beach, the pack, my sisters.

I'm truly sorry Ness. You have to understand Renesmee. I had to do this. I want you to be happy. You wanted forever. I can never give you that. But someone else can – if that means you'll marry a vampire, a hybrid or who knows even a different werewolf, then I'm fine with it as long as that person treats you right. I'll marry someone else too, have kids and become old with someone. I know I'll always have a place in my heart for you, which is why I'm doing this after all. It's too late. I can't tell you this. You might tell me you won't care that I'm aging – but I can't risk how hurt you might be if you knew that I'm dying that I'm not immortal. I can't tell you why – I won't.

If we were together, we may have been happy. But what would happen when I got old? Or when I die. I was just looking out for you. I mean, would you really want to be with an old man?

If I knew you loved me I would never agreed to meet you in the first place and all this hurt would have been prevented. If I were only there were a time machine then maybe I could go back in the past and I would never have gotten on that plane. Please forgive me Nessie. I was losing Ness forever, but at least I knew. That she would move on from today and be happy.

I hated this. I hated my stupidity for not staying in the first place. Why I even decided to live the life of fame in the first place. Fame took who I was away from me; it took Renesmee away from me. Even though we can't be together, if destiny has it we will cross paths again, maybe this goodbye is not the end.

Loving you meant that I wanted what was best for you despite how much it affected me. You wanted eternal happiness; you'll get it – with someone else.

I didn't want to say goodbye to the person I cared about most in this world. But that doesn't mean that I don't care. I never once stopped loving you or even once stopped caring about you. Did you even consider that maybe me telling you goodbye was my heart screaming out to you 'I love you'?


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four: **I'm Not Fighting Anymore. This War I Started Has Finally Ended.

_3 weeks after I let Nessie go._

I went back to Los Angeles with Naomi and settled back into our apartment with Drake and Sierra.

"Hey guys!" I greeted them and Sierra gave me a hug and I gave Drake our personal handshake.

"Ready to shoot our film Jakey-boy?" Sierra laughed. Sierra treats me like a little brother. It's weird since we're supposed to be acting as the main love interest in the movie. Kissing her would be an equivalent to kissing Rachel or Rebecca – just weird.

"Never been more ready!" I replied.

The doorbell rang. "Must be the pizza guy!" Drake yelled.

"So guys, what are we watching tonight?" Naomi asked.

"Whatever's on television?" Sierra replied.

"Jake. There's someone for you, Edward something?" Drake told me.

"Hi Jacob." Edward greeted me.

_Talk outside, _I thought. He nodded.

I didn't know what to expect. He was probably here to kill me or something.

"Jacob. You have to come with us. Renesmee doesn't want anyone else." He told me.

"No I can't. Haven't you noticed something different about me? My temperature is not raging hot anymore. I don't smell like wet dog anymore." I explained.

"You aren't phasing anymore." he realized.

"100% human. I'm not a werewolf. You didn't actually think I let her go because I stopped loving her. I was just thinking of what was best for her." I said to Edward explaining myself.

"You don't understand Jacob. Renesmee's broken. She's physically hurting herself. She's not eating, we offered her blood even and she won't even take that. She hardly ever comes out of her room. She loves you Jacob Black and damn it you need to fix her." Edward growled.

"No you don't understand. If she loves me, how would she feel in sixty or so years when I'm gone? She's stubborn just like Bella. She's also like you, how do you know she wouldn't try to kill herself like you tried to do for Bella? You have to understand my reasons." I defended my judgment.

"Are you sure Jacob? If you keep this from her it can hurt you. This can make you lose her forever," he stated.

"I won't be around forever. She will be. She can move on, get married and have kids. And I will move on too. I'll always have a special place for her in my heart. But this is for the best. I'm not fighting anymore. It's just too late for us and it was never meant to be I guess. Fate decided this for us." I told him.

"Don't let fate decide this. You can still be with her until you do die." He hesitated. "And there's always the other option. You can become one of us. A vampire." Edward said quietly.

"You think I would want to become a vampire? No. I don't want to become lifeless, never changing, frozen." I told him, _No offence!_

"None taken. But Renesmee, she wouldn't care what you were as long as you were together." He explained.

"This isn't about what I am, but who I am. You're asking me to give up my humanity – what makes me who I am today. If I changed I would never be the same." I told him defeated.

"Your humanity. I guess it is a bit hypocritical of me to even suggest that when I never wanted to take Bella's humanity in the first place." He admitted.

"Yeah so you understand my reasons?" I asked.

"I kind of understand. I know that you care for Renesmee. But think about it. You guys are soul mates. I'm sure sixty years with you is more happiness than an eternity without you." He tried to convince me.

"I've made up my mind. She may be full of hurt now. But she'll get over it soon. She'll be happy have a family with someone else. Even if I'm in pain everyday because I'm apart from her, even if she hates me, I will never regret letting her move on and be happy forever…" I drifted off and looked up.

He already left. Renesmee was hurting. But I couldn't give her what she wanted. I was bound to give her what she needed, do what she wanted, but I couldn't be what she needed or even give her what she wanted. For the first time, she wanted me in the way I had wanted her to want me. But I couldn't be that for her. More than ever I felt lonely, more lonely and lost than all those years I endured without her. A vast emptiness inside me.

But I know, that she'll smile again one day. She might end up hating me or even forgetting me. But I know that will be better than her hurting when I'm gone. She'll never have to know that I would someday not exist anymore. I'll be in the ground with a tombstone above me, leaving nothing on this earth except the impact I had on a person's heart – whether I made a good impact or a bad one.

Moving on isn't always about giving up. It's just me accepting there are some things that were never meant to be. I had to let her go to move forward in life. I never wanted to leave you behind.

I'll be with someone else – you'll be with someone else.

I meant it, I will move on too just like you. I will always love you Ness. My biggest mistake was leaving you in the first place. I'll always regret it but I'll never regret letting you be happy with someone else, Ness. And I'll never be able to forget you.

Love can be beautiful, love can be sweet, but most of the time love is painful. But is it really love that is painful? Or is it rejection, loneliness and just feeling lost? Sometimes the person you give your heart to is the problem or maybe just the wrong time. Our love, for me was so much like dying. I will never regret falling in love with you even though the heartbreak it caused me was worse than death – cause it kept me alive so I can feel the pain. I say I let you go – but my heart always held onto the pain that this love had left me. Whenever I can't take it anymore, I'll cry like I'm alone. I don't care how much grief I'll have to endure – just don't cry anymore. Let me take the pain. I hope you can be happy soon.

And all that's left of us is memories. The good times when I made you smile, when I made you feel better and when we were together. The bad times when I stood in the rain waiting for you, all the times you didn't come and the day I broke you.


	26. Chapter 25

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twenty-Five: **I Won't

A kiss. I don't know why I felt so sad. I had kissed plenty of times before so why was I crying so much because of a kiss between Jake and some other girl. Is it because… it's different when you like a person? If that were the case I'd rather not feel love at all. I left without a word, not even a sound, total silence except the noise of my heart being shattered and the screams of my heart's pain as I relived this painful memory of him.

He does not love me. I don't understand. I guess this soul mate thing isn't really that powerful if he moved on just like that. I wonder if he felt the way I feel now? When I was dating Daniel and Trent, was this how he felt? I am sorry. To have you heart torn, broken, in pieces. I now understand what love is. I also understand what true pain is.

Why didn't I know I loved him when he was still mine?

Now Jake found someone else. It hurt a lot. I guess he had really gotten over me in the past two years. I should've known that he didn't care for me anymore when he ignored my calls, my texts and my emails

But if it was meant to be – love always finds a way.

I called my mum.

"Hello?" my mum said, "Is that you Renesmee?"

"He doesn't love me anymore." I managed to say without crying.

"Renesmee, are you sure you didn't misunderstand? I'm sure you just caught him at a bad moment or something." She said sounding sure.

"Mum. He loves some other girl –." I said.

" – Are you sure?" she asked again.

"He kissed her." I yelled.

"I'm sorry Renesmee. That just doesn't seem like the Jake I know. He doesn't give up easily." My mum told softly.

Doesn't give up easily, right, as if. He always runs from me. When has he ever tried to fight for me?

"Yeah sure mum. I'm coming back to Hanover okay? I'll be back soon." I told her.

I knew that today Jake was leaving New York for Los Angeles so we would probably be there at the airport together. Who would be there but Jake? I walked up to him with my suitcase and luggage bag.

"Jake!" I yelled.

He didn't reply of even turn around. I went up to him and slapped my hand on his shoulders.

"I'm leaving." I told him as harshly as I could.

"Okay." he told me quietly.

"That's all you have to say?" I asked him hurt.

"What do you want me to say?" he said coldly, "Please don't leave? Don't go? I'm not going to beg you to stay Renesmee."

"Okay." I repeated.

"I never wanted you to be hurt. But move on Renesmee, cause I have." he told me running off. That tone. I missed that sweet tone of voice. The tone he spoke with before I confessed.

He left me there. I got on the plane and I watched from my window, as there was no one there to stop me. Jake wasn't there.

I went home. I cried for months and months. I refused to eat. I refused to have a social life. I stayed in my home sobbing over Jake and every time I saw him on the Internet or TV or heard his voice on the radio I started crying. My family was so worried when I started hurting myself. I would tear up my bedroom part from part until the shards from my mirror cut me or the spikes from the broken wooden framework had scratched me. My dad would beg Carlisle to end my pain by putting my to sleep. They hospitalized me on depression meds and other anesthetics. But I wanted to feel pain.

But after six months, I tried to cry, to feel hurt. But I didn't have any compassion left in me to cry anymore. Suddenly I didn't feel upset anymore. All my pain turned into anger and tears could not fall from my eyes anymore. I felt angry towards Jacob. He was no longer my best friend or my soul mate. I don't know what happened to my feelings toward him but they disappeared. I decided to move on. Those times he broke my heart had finally started to sink in.

I started going out with my friends more. I started noticing more boys in my college classes. I began my life properly this time without Jacob Black. I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. But I was clearly mistaken.

The only thing left of him was this charm bracelet. I had worn it since he said goodbye for the final time. But not anymore, I didn't need him now or ever. He was not there for me and I don't need anything that reminds me of him. How should I get rid of this? Bury it? No. Throw it away? Not good enough. Instead I did the same thing things to the charm bracelet as he did my heart. I took it, stepped on it, broke it and left it in pieces. His note was the only thing that didn't break. I uncoiled this letter that was full of crap and read it one final time. He promised me forever. He promised me he wouldn't let me cry a tear of sadness.

I was a changed person. Not weak, not selfish. But strong, independent, mature and maybe this experience had made me a cold person. I'd rather be cold and indifferent than be the weak person I was before always getting hurt. All he proved to me were all guys were the same – all jerks. Daniel, Trent and now Jacob – all with a bit of jerk inside them. But that was good – these obstacles taught me to be strong and minimized my weaknesses.

If years pass and you wonder why we don't talk anymore. Just remember the day you pushed me away.

This is my new outlook on life.

I won't shed a tear for any jerk anymore. They are not worth my tears. I won't be hurt like this again. This pain is too painful to bear. I won't ever let it slide if he hurts me again. I need my revenge. I won't ever forgive an unfaithful person. They are not worth my time. I won't ever forgive or forget the pain he has caused me. Why should I forgive? Why should I forget the past? I won't walk on this earth unless my head is held high. My pride must stand. I won't ever forget the night you caused me pain. Every painful experience reminds me to be strong. I won't cry for him anymore. This pain does not last for long. I won't forget the pain and I won't bother to remember who you are.

I will not love him anymore. I won't.


	27. Chapter 26

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Twenty-Six: **Let's Just Say Fame Ruined Me. Back Home.

Life was a bit annoying now. I had no idea what I signed up for when I decided a life of fame. It was the major reason I wasn't a werewolf anymore, the reason Renesmee and me couldn't be together right now or ever even. I decided to finally give up a life of fame, maybe go back into mechanics or even be a doctor. My teachers always said I was good with biology. Of course I would always work on my cars. After my contract ends, which is after I finish filming 'Bitten' with Sierra, I will retire in the fame industry. I was sick of hiding, sick of having no private life.

Vincent would not be too happy about this. I was his major breakthrough for his company, along with Naomi. But LABEL never really fully satisfied me. I couldn't release many of my personal favourite songs, only the songs that would sell. I finished my two-year contract with the company already and I'm not signing for any longer.

"Vincent!" I called.

"JB! What do you need? I have lots to attend to regarding your contract for the next five years." He grinned.

"Yeah, about that," I started, "I'm retiring."

"What?" his face instantly dropped.

"I can't keep doing this." I explained.

"Is it the pay? Cause we can bump it up a lot higher." He assumed.

"No I –" I tried to say. Just give it up.

"Wait, wait. I get it. You don't like that we pretend that you're eighteen when you're actually twenty. It's for the best JB." He went on.

"Vincent! Stop. I'm retiring because I want to. There are so many things I haven't done in life. I'm twenty-ni, twenty." I quickly said.

"You've still got plenty of good years. Five years will pass and you'll be twenty-five that's still very young!" he tried to convince me.

"I've made up my mind. I still have the contract for the movie and then I'm done. Thank you for the past two years, it was a nice experience." I told him.

"JB, please. LABEL needs you. I'll give you a raise, 10 percent. 20 percent even." He pleaded.

"Vincent, there's a lot of people out there who will do just as well as me. Younger guys who are sixteen. Look for those guys. Cause I'm not it." I told him. And I walked out of the room, leaving him, shocked.

The last months of filming passed by quickly. In no time I was moving out of our home and saying goodbye to Sierra, Naomi and Drake. Vincent was depressed but Naomi tried to cheer him up with her new single that she wrote, which surprisingly won an award for best teen artist in the year.

I packed my luggage bag and decided to move back to La Push. I moved into my home. The one I grew up in and the one that has been vacant for all these years. I walked through the house; everything placed exactly where it was, memories of Billy and me flooded my mind. I had some of the greatest times with my dad here. And he'll never see me get married, see his grandchildren and teach them baseball or soccer.

I decided to become a doctor. That day when we anxiously waited in the hospital as doctors underwent surgery Billy was dying of lung cancer and the doctors couldn't save him, maybe I could save some one else. Save someone who can be cured.

I started from the beginning. I still looked roughly eighteen-nineteen. So I could start college again from scratch. If I really work hard at it I'll be a doctor in seven years with a masters degree. I'll be thirty-six and look twenty-five. So that's okay I guess.

I met up with Sam.

"Sam!" I greeted, "I see you and Emily have kids now!"

"Yeah, you've been gone a long time. We have three. Amanda, Caleb and Ethan." He showed them off proud. I was jealous, I was technically younger than Sam, but still I was envious of his family. He had everything, everything I wanted anyway.

"Well, still no kids for me. You stopped phasing?" I asked.

"Yeah. I see you have too. Why? Your imprint is immortal." He asked confused.

"Complicated fame." I replied.

He suddenly cracked up. "Right you've been modeling for Calvin Klein underwear. Hilarious!" he smirked.

"Shut up Sam. Who's the pack leader now?" I asked as I rolled my eyes.

"It's Embry. Quil is the Beta. Jared stopped phasing for Kim and Paul for Rachel." He gave me a recap.

"Wow. Yeah I got to unpack. I'll be back to catch up. Bye Emily!" I called out.

All this information just reminded me how long and far I'd been away from home. And for what? Renesmee and I aren't even together right now. I left for five years, too long. I didn't even achieve what I wanted, I became famous instead of working in engineering and now I'm going to become a doctor?

Weird. Life sure has an interesting fate for me.

_6 years later_

Let's just say life has not changed much. I still look like I'm in my early twenties. I'm technically twenty-five though, since it's been nine years since I started aging. I have been working at Forks hospital for a year now after attending a small university in Port Jackson for the past 5 years. The professors were surprised by my intellectual ability to learn and I finished medical school within 5 years.

I've been dating a couple of people these past seven years. I promised myself I would try to be happy. Some girls I broke up with, some broke up with me and some relationships were left on mutual terms.

Right now I'm dating Olivia Jennings, the girl from Academy High School, who I call Liv. She's great and we've been together for 7 months now. We met in Los Angeles when I went back to celebrate the anniversary of the opening of LABEL and Liv was working as a photographer. Liv is a great girlfriend, she knows I won't say I love you to her yet but maybe in the near future, I would fully reciprocate those feelings. Now, I like her, I just don't love her. And I've been honest to her about it saying I hadn't let go of someone yet and she says she's willing to wait. She's twenty-six, thinks that I'm twenty-six but I'm thirty-six now.

Too much time has passed, too much time I spent winning a love that wasn't meant to be, obviously if it was destiny, if it was fate, we would be together right now. I knew Renesmee was twenty now. I hope she's happy. I haven't gotten in touch with the Cullens in forever. I went back to Hanover once to meet with my professors at Dartmouth but I didn't see them at the house. I guess they've stayed in the town too long. Who knew which town was next, probably Alaska or something – some freezing town where there's no sun.

My ties with Renesmee were completely cut. I had no idea where she was or how she was living. At least I know, that in the past six years surely she had moved on. Probably dating, maybe even engaged.

I guess I will never be able to let her go. Everyday I wake up with a feeling of loneliness.

It doesn't matter how much I get hurt though. If you really loved someone you'd put their happiness in front of your own, even if it meant she went on in life without me. I don't know how I survived the pain of being with out her. But I think maybe, all those years, made me used to the pain. I just wish I could see you one last time, I want to see you, see if you were happy, even if you did move on, even if the person beside you won't be me, even if you forget me, I just need to see you happy and I'll be too.

More then ever, I miss you Renesmee. I'm sorry if I'm a burden to your heart because loving you has become a habit for me. I blamed you for pushing me away but I should blame myself for expecting too much. The one at fault here was me not you.


	28. Chapter 27

**Renesmee's Point of View**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: **Change.

These past six years I've changed. The people I work with ask me, "What my weakness is?" But I have none. I'm not the weakling people used to know about a decade back. I'm not who I used to be.

Why have I changed? Let's say I've been hurt. So many things have happened. Every experience just taught me that shit happens. Pain changes people, as it has changed me and everyone knows you never really stay the same person as time passes.

I've dated a couple of guys now but I broke up with all of my previous boyfriends.

I've been attending Johns Hopkins University for the past 8 years and I'm finally starting to look for a job. The first year I studied medicine then I decided to work as a doctor like Carlisle. My dad was ecstatic. Of course I've finished my course now in seven years and I'm going to start working at a hospital. My first year of working, I'll be working as an intern then if the doctor accessing me gives their consent and I pass my boards, I'll be a doctor.

"Renesmee, can you come here please?" my dad asked.

"Coming!" I yelled.

"You need to pick a hospital to work at Renesmee." He told me.

"You can pick. I don't mind really where I work." I said rushing off.

"Renesmee." My dad said sternly. He had envelopes from various hospitals that had accepted me.

"Okay I'll choose. Whichever is in that envelope." I said pointing to the pale blue envelope.

"Forks Hospital?" he asked, "Ironic. I hope you have a great time. This is the address of the house we lived in when we moved to Hanover. Perhaps you still remember? If it's vacant you could live there if you don't mind cleaning the place up first." he suggested.

"I remember dad. I used to play with…" I stopped.

It was silent for a bit. "Maybe, I think Jake lives near Forks, now. He used to live there in La Push, which isn't too far from Forks so maybe you might want to –" I cut him off.

"No dad. Just no. I'm going to Forks to work at a hospital not see…" I couldn't finish. I swore to myself I would forget him.

"I was just suggesting that – " he tried to say.

"Dad. He. Broke. My. Heart. I'm not going to see him at all no matter how close he is." I told my dad angrily.

"Renesmee. Don't judge his choice without knowing his motive first." he said.

"What's that supposed to mean? Do you know something?" I asked.

"Renesmee I was just saying that you don't know why he did what he did. So you shouldn't judge." He explained.

"Yeah. Right. Can you check when I have to start?" I asked him.

"Anytime before September." He answered.

"Well. I don't have anything to do, so I mays as well start packing. I'll leave tomorrow. Okay?" I told him.

"Sure Renesmee. If you have time be sure to visit your grandpa Charlie." He reminded me. I saw Charlie last year so I missed him.

I packed my things. I was finally returning back to my hometown. I didn't need to go by a new identity anymore. I was 20 and people in Forks could actually believe that I'm Edward and Bella Cullen's daughter.

After I finished packing my family was already back from their hunt. Alice probably saw me leaving. Her vision of me is getting clearer as I grow older. I gave everyone a hug and said my final goodbyes. I would be back to visit of course.

Finally I was going off into the world alone. Everything seemed great. I waited 20 years for this to finally be independent. No guys weighing me down – no weaknesses.

The house was still the same. Only so silent, so vacant as I walked into the first room I remembered all those childhood memories, more and more flooding through my brain. I couldn't wait to start work. Dr. Stevens the chief resident of Forks Hospital had already assigned me to a schedule for tomorrow.

I decided to visit Charlie first. I knocked on the door. Charlie came out.

"Nessie!" He greeted me, "You've grown up so fast Nessie. Hope you're not getting too old for hugs!"

"Of course not Grandpa Charlie." I hugged him. Charlie really had not changed much. Except his hair that was getting more grey by day.

"Have you eaten? I have some pizza in the kitchen if you want some."

"I would love some." I told him smiling.

He led me to the living room. I saw someone I hadn't seen in six years. My weakness was staring at me. A person I had been avoiding for all these years. The reason I moved to Baltimore.

"Nessie?" he asked. I guess he didn't want to see me either.

I didn't say anything. I was so sure I was brave. That I had changed. But suddenly I reverted back into the person I was before. A coward. I ran from him and went into a room upstairs.

I started breathing heavily. As tears fell down to my feet, I felt shameful. This weak feeling is one I hadn't felt in so many years. I was crying over a guy. After all those years I thought I had changed. But in front of him, I just couldn't put up my rough exterior. Once again, I was weak. Fragile.

Someone knocked on the door. "Nessie? I'm just really glad you're okay."

"Can you please just leave me alone? I don't want to see you." I cried.

"I'll leave okay? Just stay for Charlie. I'll go." He said.

I was wrong. I hadn't changed at all. I was vulnerable. Weak. He was the only guy who could break me. All it took was his voice, his appearance. And just like that he broke me all over again.


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: **More Broken Than Ever.

I opened the door slightly to see if he was there. He wasn't. I felt so empty. Alone.

I went downstairs to join Charlie and watch TV. Hours passed very slowly and I went back home. The person who completely shattered my world, just when I started to piece it back together he shatters it again.

It was late. I walked into my room. And cried on the pillow silently. Drifting off into a nightmare.

I woke up and got ready for my first day of work as an intern. When I arrived at the hospital Dr. Stevens was showing me around telling me what every room is and the room I weren't allowed in.

"Are you going to be the resident assessing me?" I asked

"No. Don't worry; the resident assessing you is a great doctor. He's going to teach you everything you need to know." He assured me.

"So I shouldn't be worried?" I asked.

"Of course not. In fact here he is right now." He said, "Jacob, this is your new intern."

Is. This. Really. Happening? I tried to get away from him and now I can't. What are the chances?

"Well what do you know?" he said.

I faked a smile. "You can't be serious."

"Is there a problem Miss Cullen?" Dr. Stevens asked.

"No. It's just…" I stammered.

"I think Miss Cullen would prefer if someone else were to be her resident." Jacob said.

"Nonsense. Interns here wanted you as their assessor. You're truly one of the best. Miss Cullen is lucky to have you in the first place because her grandfather had a respected position her once." Dr. Stevens told him.

"Only if she agrees." Jacob told him.

"Fine. But only cause you're supposedly the best." I said abruptly while walking off.

I heard Dr. Stevens say, "She is a feisty one." And they chuckled.

Why of all people did Jake have to be my resident? I didn't even know he was a doctor in the first place. I thought he was supposed to be rich and famous. Could it be that he still… it couldn't be that he still… loves me? I mean Jake has standards now. He's only dating people of status.

"Uh Renesmee? Where are you going? I lead. You follow." Jacob laughed.

I blushed. I forgot I was the intern. "Just. Shut up." I said embarrassed.

We went into a room and he started teaching me. Slow and steady. When I'm in surgery, I should enter that room with a good headspace. Clear thoughts. Always remember to think and block away panic. I wasn't so sure I could do this.

"There. Are you feeling better now, Erin?" Jacob asked.

"Yes much better!" she replied.

"See I told you it wouldn't hurt. Now let's go find your mummy okay?" he said sweetly to the little girl.

I couldn't understand why he was so nice now. But all I could remember from him was when he left me broken.

"Oh and Renesmee? That's enough for today. You did well. Come back tomorrow you still need to work out how you like to do sutures." He said.

"Yeah. Okay. Um thanks." I told him.

It was a rainy day. I ran into a store to buy some groceries and other things. Then I decided to cook Charlie some dinner. I made him some spaghetti carbonara. He told me it tasted delicious.

"Thank you Nessie. I'm so glad you can cook like your mother." He told me.

"Yeah. I guess." I said. I drifted off in a daze of thoughts.

"I'm sorry Nessie. Did I upset you? I mean you might not be my granddaughter biologically but you're still family." He said.

It bothered me he didn't know I was his biological granddaughter. But still nothing I could do about it.

"No it's not that. I was just thinking about work tomorrow."

"That's right Nessie. You should get some rest, you're a doctor after all." He gave me a hug and rushed me off so I could rest.

I didn't feel like sleeping. I just wanted to have some times for myself to think. There were a lot of things on my mind, mainly one thing though. Jacob. I think maybe I had forgiven him. And maybe all the hate I filled my heart with was blocking me from realizing what I really felt. Blocking my from what my mind refused to feel and my heart was trying to fight for.

Deep down I still loved him. I didn't know what to listen to my mind or my heart. Listening to my mind would be wise in theory. But my heart, it's strong. It's been shattered, stepped on, broken and yet somehow it still beats to keep me alive. So heart? Or mind?

Without knowing it I had walked to La Push beach. I still remembered where he lived. Maybe just maybe there was still a chance for us.

That was until I saw him with someone else. Someone I recognized in his arms, a girl who I had been avoiding for so many years because I had done wrong to her. Olivia Jennings, the girl in his arms that wasn't me.

I ran back to the beach, which wasn't very far sat at the edge of a cliff. Why? I thought that Jake only dated celebrities. That was why he turned me down in the first place. So why is Olivia okay? When she's just a normal girl like me? But I'm not good enough. What did I do wrong? I don't understand. Did I push you away just one too many times? Just tell me what I did wrong.

I didn't care what happened to me now. My mum once told me about cliff diving. Something that was considered a sport in La Push and almost killed her cause she was still human at the time. I wasn't fragile like her after all I'm half vampire.

Looking down at the raging waves that looked black because of the night sky. I gulped. But thought about the fact that, more ever than before, I was so broken that no one could fix me.

I took a leap.


	30. Chapter 29

**Jacob's Point Of View **

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: **Why Did She Do This To Herself?

She was cold as ice. I tried so hard to get the water out of her lungs. Why did she have to jump off a cliff? I couldn't let her die when she meant so much to me. I was just walking along the beach and I see her jumping off a cliff.

"Renesmee. Breathe. Don't you dare die on me!" I yelled.

Finally she coughed out the water. And the colour started returning to her cheeks. I sighed in relief.

"What the hell were you thinking Renesmee? Jumping off a cliff at night. Alone!" I scolded her.

"Jake?" she said.

"Yes?" asked.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. I could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"For a minute there I thought I wouldn't be able to save you." I sighed.

She was so still. I grabbed her shoulders and said, "Renesmee?"

I checked her pulse. It was weak. Her forehead was burning up.

"Whoa Ness."

I brought her back to my place and got some ice and a small towel ready. I got a thermometer and got a reading for her fever. 39.7°C. It was fairly high. I put the cold towel over her forehead. I had to change her clothes. They were all wet and she could get hypothermia if I didn't. I got one of my shirts out of the closet and dressed her. My shirt was huge on her; it looked like she was wearing a dress.

I watched her, as she was asleep. She had changed so much. I once thought she was mature when she turned physically eighteen. But I was wrong. She looked exactly the same yet I knew somehow she was the proper definition of mature. She grew up too fast and was always like a child. But now she was an adult in everyway: actually, physically and mentally. I never could understand why she was so beautiful. Her lips were a slightly light blood red. Her long eyelashes fluttered as she slept. Her features were so perfect in so many ways.

I wringed the towel, put it back in the bowl of ice and placed it on her forehead. Her fever was already went down to 39.4°C. I watched her fall asleep before falling asleep myself.

"Jake?" I heard a voice call out to me.

"Yes?" I answered still half asleep.

"What are you doing with that girl?" the voice asked again.

I opened my eyes and realised I was lying in bed with Nessie. I forgot to put my shirt back on when I dove in to save her. I looked at Olivia who was looking pretty mad. She started running.

"Liv! Wait. It's not what it looks like honestly." I tried to explain.

I ran to stop her. Damn my average human abilities. I wish I could run faster. I grabbed her arm.

"No. Let go!" she screamed.

"Just let me explain. She's just a girl who jumped off a cliff and I saved. She's just a… girl I know." I told her. I was about to say friend but I guess friend wouldn't exactly be the best term to describe our relationship I mean she hates me.

"So she doesn't mean anything to you?" Olivia asked.

I was silent. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't say she meant nothing to me. I couldn't lie to Liv.

"Oh my gosh. She's the girl that you're in love with. The girl you couldn't let go. Am I right? How could I ever believe that you would get over her one day? If it's not her it's not going to be anyone else, right." she cried loudly.

"Let's break up." I told her.

"What?" she said shocked.

"I can't be what you want. Do you really want to stay with me knowing you'll always be a second choice?" I said exasperated.

"So it's true. You do love her? Can I know who she is?" she asked.

"Yeah I do love her. We're just not exactly on great terms at the moment. But if you really want to meet her we can go back to the house." I said.

"I don't want to meet her I just want to know who she is. Who has got you so drawn and in love. I guess I never should have fooled myself thinking you'd one day love me back. I just really wanted to have my happily ever after. I thought I'd get it but I guess not." She said.

"Don't worry Liv. You'll have your happy ending. But it's not me." I told her.

"Kind of figured that." Olivia laughed.

"So friends?" I asked to make sure.

"Of course. Hope you two can work it out." She smiled.

"Thanks Liv. I hope you find your happy ending soon." I told her.

"Thanks. I got to go to work now. Bye Jake." Liv said.

Yeah. Bye. I started walking.

"Oh and Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"If you love her, you should really tell her. Before it's too late. Now bye." She smiled.

Yeah maybe if things weren't so complicated. "Maybe." I said.

I went back to the house. "Renesmee? Where are you?"

I checked my bedroom, but she wasn't there. Her clothes were gone and the shirt she was wearing was folded neatly and placed on the bed. She was in no condition to be going outside. Where the hell could she be? I searched the beach in case she had gone back again. I really hoped she was okay.

Finally after hours of searching I went to the hospital. There she was waiting for me.

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked.

"I went back to the hospital. You said we had a class today." She replied.

"I've been worried sick." I reached for her forehead. "You're burning up!"

Renesmee shook me off, "Why do you care?"

"Of course I still care. How can I not care? I will always care." I yelled.

"No you don't. I'm just a girl you know," Renesmee said with a tear in her eye as I remembered my choice of words with Olivia before.

Without thinking I said, "Well isn't it true? We're not exactly friends are we?"

"So I'm just a girl. Nothing else?" she asked.

Before I could respond she said, "Fine. You're right. We're not friends. And we'll never be anything else!"

"You're not just a girl to me Ness. You mean a lot to me and it frustrates me that I can't tell you." I sighed as I let her walk away from me once more.


	31. Chapter 30

**Renesmee's Point Of View:**

**Chapter Thirty: **Forever.

I ran from him once more. Why is it that I always push him away? Maybe cause I didn't want to hear what he was inevitably going to say. He doesn't love me. After all I'm just a girl.

What was this pain that seemed so familiar? I felt this complete hurt knowing that I mean absolutely nothing to him.

I decided to stop moping around and be strong again. I was going to walk into that hospital tomorrow and be strong. I decided to cook dinner for Charlie again. I just needed to stop at a grocery to buy things to make a casserole.

"Renesmee Cullen?" I heard a voice behind me say.

"Olivia?" I responded as I saw the girl who Jacob loved now.

"Oh my gosh! It is you. Long time no see." Olivia smiled.

"You're happy to see me?" I asked confused, "Are you sure?"

"Of course. What's past is past right?" she laughed.

"Well, do you want to catch up some time?" I asked.

"Sure, how about tonight?"

"I can't I'm cooking for my grandpa tonight. Tomorrow for lunch if that's okay for you? I'll pay." I offered.

"Great. I'll be there," she said.

I made dinner for Charlie and brought it over to him. I didn't have work tomorrow, so I stayed up late watching whatever was on TV. The next day I woke up late and it was almost lunch time so I got dressed and wore something casual: jeans and a white t-shirt.

I saw Liv and we went into a café for lunch. We did the usual small talk and then started to really catch up on what happened the past decade.

"So anyone special in your life Renesmee?" she questioned.

"No. What about you? I hear you're with Jake now." I smiled.

"Oh not anymore. That ended a few days ago." She sighed.

"Really?" I asked, "What happened?"

"It was never really right besides he kept going on about this other girl and how amazing she was. How much he loved her, how much he wanted what's best for her…" she went on.

"Other girl? Bastard. Should I punch him for you?" I offered.

"No seriously it's okay. I forgive him. Beside his love for this girl, it's pretty intense. What did he call her, Nessie or something? I'm guessing her full name was Vanessa or some other name that Ness in it – " I cut her off.

" – Wait. He called her Nessie?" I asked to make sure.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Nessie. So two days ago he saved this girl from drowning and that's when I knew. He could never love me that way he loved that girl – "

I ran off. Jake loved me. He still cared. And I don't know why he pushed me away but I'm sure going to find out. He owes me an explanation to why we couldn't be together for all these years when we had mutual feelings.

I finally found him. "Jake!" I called out.

"Watch out Renesmee!" he yelled back. As I realised where I was standing as a black van was heading towards me. My life flashed in front of my eyes, every memory of him. I felt a huge force take me down. This was it.

Death. I heard so many sounds around me. A person was yelling, "Someone call an ambulance!" I heard sirens and people calling for help.

I opened my eyes and blood covered me, I was in so much pain. I looked down and there was barely a scratch on me except for my knee that had a gash that would require stitches. I gasped as I realised that the blood wasn't mine. It belonged to the person beside me. Lying there because of me. Jake.

"Jake. Wake up." I shook him with my bloody red hands. "Please wake up. Why aren't you getting better? You're supposed to heal quickly. Someone help me please!" I pleaded to the crowd that surrounded me. I cried so hard. His face was covered in blood; in his hand he held a picture. A picture of me, with a caption at the bottom in his beautiful handwriting, "Forever, I'll love you." I couldn't understand why he wasn't healing already. He's been in worse conditions and healed within minutes.

It suddenly made sense. He was just a man. A human. The reason he wasn't healing was because he wasn't a werewolf. Then it hit me. The reason he pushed me away. The reason he wanted me to move on. Why he told me he didn't love me. He did all this because he couldn't be with me, forever. He pushed me away, because he loved me. But he didn't have to. I would still love him when he got old. Or still love him despite the fact that he's human. It didn't matter to me.

The paramedics took him to the emergency room. The wait was killing me. If he died I knew it would be mostly my fault. His sisters came in to wait with me including some members of the pack. Embry, Quil, Seth and Leah who was about 7 months pregnant and still sitting in the waiting room.

Please be okay. I just want you to be okay. Finally the surgeon came out of the emergency room. He took his facemask off and spoke.

"Mr. Black is in a comatose state now, but we're sure he's going to wake up fine. He might suffer from seizures in the future, anything can happen. Any functions can be impaired so he might have speech or movement impairment. But there are many exercises that can repair the brain. He also fractured his leg. He may have torn his ACL. We'll do some further testing to make sure. Even if he waked up he may never be able to do extreme sport activities. Is he an athlete? I wouldn't worry too much. I just wanted you to know possible outcomes if he wakes up."

"Wait if he wakes up?" I asked.

"Yes. It's not definite and it could be months until he wakes up. His body is in this state to try and repair itself and release pressure on his brain. We can't predict when he will wake up or if he will. All you can do is hope. I promise you we did everything we could do during that operation."

"Thank you Dr. Monet." Rachel told him.

Every night I would sleep by his side. I prayed for him to wake up. I wanted him to wake up. I stopped working at the hospital. My mum and dad had come to visit me to see if I was okay.

He was sleeping so peacefully. I stared at him for the a billionth time this month. The doctor says that patients usually hear things in this state so I wanted to talk to him.

"I got something made for you. It's nothing special, but you should have it." I put the locket around his neck.

"It's like the charm bracelet you made for me only I didn't make it. It has my own vow for you. So here goes."

I took the piece of paper out from the locket and began reading, _"Jake, you're the most important person to me in the world. I know I've been a terrible person to you but I promise you I'm trying. I really am. I love you. Why? Maybe it's because I love everything about you. I wanna be the person who makes you feel better, be that person who you think of first thing in the morning and the person that when you think of them, you think the life couldn't be the same without them. You're exactly that person to me. I love you Jacob Black - Nessie." _He moved an inch and I froze.

"Can you hear me?" I asked.

He was silent as dead and his heart was beating rapidly.

"Please Jake wake up. Get up please. And I'll hold you tightly in my arms. I won't let you leave anymore. Wake up and try running from me again."

He squeezed my hand lightly.

"Jake?" I smiled. I was crying and laughing at the same time. Thank you Jacob, that was just what I needed.

A month had already passed by quickly. He didn't ever squeeze my hand again and the doctors didn't believe me when I told them. I hadn't left the hospital since I've been there. It was my fault. How could I live with myself if he woke up and I wasn't there?

"Renesmee?" my dad called out.

"Dad what is it? I'm fine okay?" I told him.

"No you're not. You're sleep deprived. And I know I've said this before but maybe it would be better if we changed him. He would heal quickly – "

"Dad. No… I won't change him unless he wants too. You know Jake he would never want to become like us. I don't care how long it takes for him to wake up."

"But Renesmee. There's a chance he might not – "

"Don't say that. He's going to wake up. You watch. He's going to make it through just fine!" I cried.

"Renesmee. Go home. Take a shower. Sleep." He instructed me.

"I do shower. I do sleep." I snapped.

"No. I mean a proper sleep in your bed and not on this couch. A long shower in your home that's not in the hospital bathroom." He explained.

"But – " I tried to say.

"It's an order Renesmee. I mean it. This isn't healthy. How can you expect to take care of Jacob when you can't even take care of yourself? Go home. Take a rest and then you can come back."

I listened. Not because of my dad though. But only because if the situation was reversed and I were in that coma, I would want Jake to go home and rest.

The phone rang in the morning.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I'm so sorry, Renesmee." My dad said to me.

"What happened did he wake?" I questioned him.

"He did. But he's not in the hospital right now." He answered.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "You're not making sense."

"Jacob disappeared."


	32. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One: **I'll Find You.

_Ten months later._

I was so tired running the perimeter here trying to find him. Damn, I just wasted a week trying to find him when he isn't even here. Time to leave. Where to next? I had to come home for a while at least; I've been trying to find him for so long.

I haven't seen Jacob in so long. I didn't know whether Jacob was alive or… I wasn't going to give up on him just yet. No matter what his sisters think. I still believed somewhere out there he was still alive. These past ten months I had been travelling trying to find him. I've been in Australia, Italy, Egypt and so much more, travelling the whole world trying to find him.

My dad blamed himself for so long. Even when I decided to forgive him, after all it wasn't his fault, my dad never said he was going to take my place and look after him for me. Still, he thought it was his fault when really it was mine. The reason Jake was in the hospital in the first place was because of my idiotic actions. Rebecca practically hates me for the accident and Rachel, I know she blames me too; she just might not show it.

I gave up being a doctor. My life focus has been shifted to finding him. Of course I've been working various different jobs so I can afford the trips to find him after all I can't keep borrowing off Carlisle and his life fortune.

I haven't had any luck finding him. I decided to come back for a small visit to Charlie. I was interrupted by a knock on my door.

"Coming!" I yelled out.

I opened the door and Rachel and Rebecca were standing there.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Renesmee we wanted to talk to you about something," Rachel started.

"Sure. Come in." I welcomed them.

They sat down on the couch exchanging a look.

"Okay what is it?" I demanded.

"Renesmee, it's been so long. And we've looked for him continuously. I think maybe it's best that we assume that Jacob's gone. He's not coming back. Tomorrow we're having a service for him. You should come." Rachel told me.

"You mean like a funeral service?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They were just going to send him away tomorrow as if he's dead.

"Jake's gone, Renesmee. We have to accept that and move on. If he were alive, he should have called by now or tried to contact us somehow," Rebecca stated.

"I can't believe you guys," I said shocked, "I'm not giving up. It's been ten months. That's nothing. Just because he's not here physically, he's here in my heart. And I know that he's alive."

I used my gift and showed them my memories of him and me smiling together. "See that? How can you guys give up finding him? I will never give up until I see that smile again."

"Giving up. Well you would sure know a lot about that." Rebecca retorted.

"Rebecca." Rachel scolded, "We didn't come here to criticize her."

"Rachel. She's criticizing us of something she does on a regular basis. Who are you to talk about giving up on Jake when you've done it so many times? You're the reason why he was in hospital in the first place. He would still be here if it weren't for you. We're trying to move on so don't you dare tell us that we're giving up on him. Why can't you just leave us be? If you don't want to come to the service tomorrow, then don't bother." Rebecca told me harshly.

"I won't come. And I admit that yeah, maybe I did give up on him several times before but I'm not going to anymore. Cause unlike you I believe he's out there somewhere." I told them.

"Renesmee. He's not coming back." Rachel told me.

"But I believe he is. So if you still want to give up on him then I don't want you here right now." I said abruptly.

"Good," Rebecca said in return, "I never wanted to be here anyway. Let's go Rachel."

Jake would never give up on me. A year, or four, however long it takes I'll still believe that somewhere you're out there and that I'll find you one day. I'm going to travel the world and dammit I'm going to find you if it's going to be the last thing I do. The thing is though, whenever I leave a place there's a chance that Jake could be going there. That's why I don't keep a checklist of where I've been. Because if I give up on a place, I can't risk the chance that Jake could be just coming back as I leave.

I don't care what Rebecca and Rachel think. Because I believe deep down I knew he was alive because he was running away from me trying to avoid me. Why do you always do this to me? You're always trying to run away from me. I know you're alive out there somewhere and you're trying to do what's best for me but this is driving me crazy not being able to see you. Where the hell, are you and why the hell, haven't you called?

I heard the speakers, "Last call for gate 14." I was going to work in London. I'm restarting my search from there. I just want to find you however long it takes. When I do find you, I'll hug you and then punch you in the face cause you ran in the first place. Then we'll be together. And if you try to deny it and I catch you wearing the locket I gave you, I'll know you still love me too. Besides I'm wearing one too, with your note in it.

I'll find you Jake. I will.


	33. Chapter 32

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Two: **My New Family With The Grahams.

_That night._

Ugh. What's with all these tubes on me? I pulled them all off me. Where the hell am I? What is this place? It was so dark. There's so many people I don't know. This is doing my head in. I had to get out of this place. Who am I? I had to run anywhere. These corridors are so spooky. Am I in a hospital? Who am I?

Finally I'm out of that creepy place. These swindling roads are doing my head in, so many lights on this track. I feel so dizzy. Something bright was coming at me. A car? But it didn't hurt.

An angel was watching over me. I couldn't quite make out her face, but it was slender and I could see her beautiful bronze curls. She was telling me to hold on. Have I met this angel before? Saving my life in a dream.

"Wake up. Please? Did we hit you?" I heard a voice.

"Angel?" I thought out loud.

"Mum, dad he's alive." A girl said.

"Who am I?" I asked.

"We should talk to the doctor." An older woman spoke.

**[Hannah Graham's Point Of View**

"Mum. He doesn't remember who he is." I stated.

Poor thing. And I hit him! This is the last time I'm going to America for a holiday.

"It must be terrible not knowing who you are." My mum said.

"It's my fault I hit him and now he doesn't know who he is." I cried.

"We're going to fix this. He has no ID. And no other means for identification. He'll live with us. We have a fortune and I've always wanted a son. It's a shame he doesn't look related to us." My father thought.

"He doesn't have to be our son, maybe just a worker. He needs a name." My mum said.

"Something nice…like Kyle or Tyson." I suggested.

"I like Kyle better. Naming him after your ex-boyfriend is not an option Rachel." My mum scolded me

"Okay mum. He needs a last name too. How about Kyle Chambers?"

**End of Hannah Graham's Point Of View]**

**Jacob's Point Of View**

Who were these people? I barely know myself and I'm surrounded by these strangers. The girl who spoke had light hazel hair. Who was this angel in my dream? I can't even remember. She probably was a figment of my imagination. Silly dreaming.

"Okay. We're taking you home." An older man told me.

"The doctor told us you have amnesia so you don't remember us but don't worry we'll take you home." The woman spoke again.

"Who am I?" I asked again.

"You're name is Kyle Chambers. You're an orphan and you work for my father. And you live with us now since you have this head injury." The girl spoke again.

"Who are you?" I asked them.

"I'm Hannah. You work for my dad at his company, Graham Global."

_Present Day. 10 months from the accident._

My name is Kyle Chambers and I've been working as an executive in a business company. I've been dating Hannah Graham for eight months now. She's amazing I guess. Still I can't help but wonder about the angel who was in my dreams. I tried to find her, but I couldn't find her out of the photos that Hannah gave me of all my friends. My angel really was just a figment of my imagination. I have no past memories of my life. The doctor says I may never recall my memories. I've been living in England my whole life. I often ask Hannah to tell me what my past life was like.

"Kyle!" Hannah snapped her fingers in front of my face, waiting for me to snap out of my daydreams.

"What is it?"

"We have a dinner reservation, did you forget?" she smiled.

"Of course not." I told her.

"Then let's go!" she ushered me out of the conference room.

I drove her to the restaurant. Hannah's father approved when I told him I was planning to propose to her. I had the ring in my pocket and all I had to do was pick the perfect moment to ask.

"Keep your eyes closed okay?" I instructed her.

"Aw, Kyle! You know I hate waiting." Hannah complained.

"I know, I know." I led her into a dining room, where a band of string instruments were played. "Okay, open your eyes."

"Kyle. It's beautiful. I love it. Thank you." She hugged me.

"I just wanted to ask you something." I started, "Hannah, will you marry me?"

I got down on one knee.

"About time you asked." She said as she placed her lips on mine.

"That's a yes right?"

"Yes." Hannah squealed as I placed the diamond ring on her finger

"It's your mother's engagement ring. 10 carats." I told her.

"I know. My dad spoiled her." She laughed.

The night ended soon, Hannah had to return to work and I had to meet up with the board directors.

The next morning everyone knew about our engagement. Hannah was planning the wedding, which would be in four months.

"Jake?" Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, a girl with bronze curls and chocolate brown eyes stood there.

"It is you." And this girl started hugging me. "I missed you."

Who was this crazy lady? Randomly hugging men. I mean was she some sort of hooker or something? Throwing herself at men.

I shook her off, "Who the hell are you. This floor is for credited employees. You do not work here. My name isn't Jay or whatever you said. It's Kyle."


	34. Chapter 33

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Three: **Chaos.

"So this is your office. If you have any questions please ask the head executive, Kyle Chambers." Mr. Graham told me.

"Okay." I replied. I took a job in London at a big company. I was working as an assistant to the executive of the company, planning events and organizing his schedule.

"I hope there will be no problems involving you, Miss Cullen." He said sternly.

"I'll work the best I can. I promise." I said as I started my work.

This work was different to medicine, being a doctor. It was dull to sit in the office and organize times and meetings for other people. On the plus side it's a good pay and just what I need to afford those trips to find Jake. I had to meet Mr. Chambers, to give him some files and his schedule for tomorrow.

I knocked on the door expecting my boss. Instead I saw someone else. Someone I had been searching for, all these years and the moment I don't try to look is the moment I find him.

"Jake?" I said stupidly while blinking my eyes in bewilderment.

He looked at me stunned. "It is you!" I ran up to hug him. "I missed you."

Finally I found him. He smelled so nice. But his arms were so still and stiff. Did he already move on? Then he shook me off.

"Who the hell are you. This floor is for credited employees. You do not work here. My name isn't Jay or whatever you said. It's Kyle."

"You're not? Look at this locket I'm wearing. Don't you have one like it?" I asked shocked.

"What are you talking about? I don't own a locket like that." He replied.

"Is there a problem here?" Mr. Graham walked in.

"Peter, who is this girl? She just randomly went up to hug me."

"Kyle, this is your new assistant, Renesmee Cullen. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." Mr. Graham apologized.

"I'm sorry sir. I made a mistake." I said holding tight onto my locket.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again." Mr. Graham scolded me.

"Yes sir. I'm going to go." I went into my office and closed the door behind me. I started crying, the tears falling from my cheeks to the floor. Is the universe trying to torture me? As a punishment for rejecting him so many times? Is this a joke? It's not funny. Jake was back but it wasn't Jake. The universe was trying to punish me. I cried harder. By letting me see Jake, but not actually see him. Not only that but I had to see him every day in the office, on top of that as my boss.

I opened my locket to see his face again. Kyle looked so much like him. Or was my imagination deceiving me? I read his note again. I had come to a point where I memorized his note yet I still read it so I can see his handwriting again.

I cried on the rooftop of the building.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I yelled to the earth.

"Do you think it's funny? Torturing a person like this? What is this? You give me Jake back. But it's only a fake. Not real. Can't you just give me the real Jake back?" I sobbed.

I got down on my knees. Burrowing my head into my arms as I cried my heart out. I was falling apart. For a complete stranger I didn't know, but I still break down because he reminds me so much of him. Kyle took away everything that held me together. I needed Jake more than ever before.

How can two people be so alike? But not be the same person. The way he walked, talked and his hand gestures, they were all mimicking Jake's. I tried to blink the tears back into my eyes, but they kept falling. It can't be Jake, if he doesn't know me and if he doesn't have the locket. Jake may run away from me continuously but he would always have the locket. But the resemblance was amazing. Kyle could be Jake's long lost twin for all I know.

Somebody help me. I can't take this anymore. I don't even know if you're okay. I don't know where you are.

I had to get back to work eventually. The good thing about me is that when I cry nobody can really tell, as my eyes don't get puffy or red like humans. The business was thinking of giving money to an orphanage for commercial interest. Kyle and I would have to go to the orphanage tomorrow.

"Miss Cullen, we need to talk about the orphanage. Have you organized suitable times for Kyle?" Mr. Graham asked.

"Yes." I handed him the schedule for this month.

He examined my work, "Hmm… Yes… okay. That's fine."

"Really okay thanks!" I told him.

"Excellent planning. And organization. Well done on your first day."

I ran back to the office and ran into something pretty hard.

"Ow… that hurts." Kyle said. I forgot I was a little stronger than humans.

"Sorry. I should look where I'm going next time." I told him.

"That's fine." He told me.

"Wait you're bleeding!" I exclaimed. I realised that I had pushed him onto a glass vase and the broken pieces must have grazed his leg.

"I'll be okay." Kyle assured me.

"No. I'm a doctor-in-training so I can easily fix that." I told him.

I got my medical supplies from my desk and cleaned his cut

"Kyle? Are you bleeding!" a woman from behind exclaimed.

"I'll be fine Hannah. Let me introduce you to my new assistant. Renesmee, Hannah. Hannah, Renesmee. Hannah's my fiancé." He smiled.

"I have to go now." Hannah said abruptly. That was rude…

Wow Kyle is getting married. Why is it that, even though it's not Jake getting married, I still feel uncomfortable hearing this? Is it because they look so alike that I feel Jake is marrying Hannah? I just have this tight emotion in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe, hard for me to speak.

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked me interrupting my train of thought.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Actually I have to go too." I told him quickly.

I don't know why I just did that. I ran away from him… I felt nervous and my heart was beating fast. Kyle was getting married, why was that such a big deal?


	35. Chapter 34

**Hannah's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Four: **The Truth Is I'm Sorry.

I keep your locket in my jewelry box. I hide it from you.

I stole your locket and I'm sorry. Why was this happening to me? I finally found someone and she comes along. I was horrified when she walked into your office. I was so shocked as if she were a ghost. More like a girl haunting my relationship. The girl in the photo was definitely a match to the girl working for Kyle, Renesmee.

When I retrieved the locket from the hospital possessions that belonged to you, I realised that you must have loved that girl in your past before you ran into us during our vacation.

Renesmee wrote a note, _"Jake, you're the most important person to me in the world. I know I've been a terrible person to you but I promise you I'm trying. I really am. I love you. Why? Maybe it's because I love everything about you. I wanna be the person who makes you feel better, be that person who you think of first thing in the morning and the person that when you think of them, you think the life couldn't be the same without them. You're exactly that person to me. I love you Jacob Black – Nessie."_ For the past two months I've known that your name isn't Kyle Chambers. It's Jacob Black. I've done a background check on your real identity. Turns out you used to be a world star about eight years ago. I can't believe I didn't recognize you, but you have gotten a little older.

But I can't tell you. We're getting married and you don't even remember who she is. I'm sorry I have been keeping this from you for so long. And that I might be keeping you from knowing your real identity but you think you're Kyle.

Please don't remember her. I'm scared that the day you remember her, is that day you'll forget about me. And I love you too much to let that happen.

"Hannah?" Kyle called out to me.

I quickly put the note inside the locket and the locket into the box. I shoved the jewelry box into the drawer of my dressing table, just in time.

"Yes?" I answered as he came into the room.

"Your mother wants to take you out for dress fittings. Your dress for the engagement party needs to fit you perfectly." He told me.

"Okay." I told him forgetting to breathe.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Really. Let's go." I quickly said.

I walked with my arm is his and looked up into his eyes. _I'm sorry._

You might think that I'm deceiving you. But we're happy together. I know because you wouldn't ask me to marry you if you didn't. How can I give you up? After being with you for so long. How can I tell you that my family has been lying to you since day one? How can I tell you that you love someone else and risk the chance that you might actually not love me at all or the chance that you may suddenly stop loving me when you start loving her.

I'm sorry Kyle. I'm so sorry, Jacob Black. But I've made the right decision. I won't regret it.

I dialed a number into my phone, "Dad? I want you to fire Kyle's new assistant." I told him.


	36. Chapter 35

**Jacob's Point Of View:**

**Chapter Thirty-Five: **I Shouldn't Have Done That.

"You wanted to see me Kyle?" Hannah asked as she came into my office.

"Why do you want Renesmee fired? I just got off the phone with your dad."

"It's just I don't want you working with other women." She explained.

"What so you don't trust me?" I said with unbelief.

"No. It's not like that. Maybe it's cause I don't trust her. Or I'm very jealous."

"But I like Renesmee. She's one of the best assistants I've had in a while."

"You like her?" Hannah said shocked.

"Not in that way Hannah! She's just an employee." I reassured her.

"Are you're not going to like her later, Kyle?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm sure. I won't like Renesmee in that way. I promise." I told her.

Well that's sorted out. It was only a simple case of jealousy. I still had to go to the orphanage with Renesmee. The drive was awkward. I drove to the orphanage in silence.

"Hey guys! Miss me?" Renesmee yelled as a crowd of kids surrounded her.

I was stunned. "I thought you've never been before."

"I couldn't resist so I visited them yesterday. Aren't they just so cute?"

"Yeah they are."

"Miss May-May, this man is scary!" One kid cried. "He's so tall. He's very tall like an evil giant." Another kid said. _Gee. Thanks. _I couldn't help but laugh.

"Miss May-May?" I asked.

"That's what the kids call me. I told them my name and they only remembered May out of Ruh-Nez-May." She explained.

"Well it is a bit of a mouthful of a name." I grinned.

"Hey. Well Mr. Giant, you're going to regret that. Kids! We're going to play a game. It's called 'Lets-Tackle-The-Evil-GIant!." She screamed.

Without hesitation kids were cheering and running towards me. Within seconds I was on the ground with a pile of kids on top of me. They were giggling and laughing as I tried to pick myself up.

"I can't get up. Please, Mr. Evil Giant must get to work."

"Don't be such a killjoy." Renesmee laughed, "And they won't get off you unless I tell them too."

"Okay Renesmee. What do you want?" I asked.

"Hmm. I'll think about it. We'll see." Renesmee said slyly, not giving anything anyway.

"But Renesmee your name really is a mouthful. Should I call you Nessie?"

"Don't call me that." Her smile suddenly dropped.

"I didn't mean to offend you. How about I make it up to you with two favors." I told her feeling bad.

"It's okay. And I will accept that offer. Now you have to do two things for me."

"Don't be too harsh on me Miss May-May."

"No mercy! Well Kyle, if you weren't engaged I would think you were flirting with me now." She laughed.

I turned around to glare at her but instead I stared directly into her eyes for the first time. They were very beautiful. A nice chocolate brown that made my heart beat with such familiarity.

"Are you going to kiss her?" A kid yelled out.

"What no!" I picked up the kid and twirled him around the air.

"Me next!" "No it's my turn."

"You all get a turn okay?" I laughed.

Time passed so quickly. It seems like that because I had so much fun with the kids and Renesmee. I made a very wrong first impression of her when I met her. I thought she was trying to throw herself at me, but I don't know why she did what she did and I shouldn't judge. I do know that she would make a great mother. I needed a break from the Grahams. The whole time since I woke up in a hospital till now, I've felt suffocated. Starting at a business firm I don't remember.

I took a walk down the streets. I can't remember the last time I just took a walk without a worry. My phone alerted me suddenly. Hannah had texted me to remind me that I needed to go to the fundraiser tonight. Everyone in the office was invited. Hannah organized a masquerade for children in Third World countries and a donation would be made using assets that volunteers have provided.

I walked into the foyer and took a silver Venetian mask out of the collection provided by the company and entered the ballroom. The room was low-lit; lights were hanging from the ceiling like a starry night. As people entered the room they made their way down a grand staircase. Everyone was dancing as the smoke machine created an illusion as if they were dancing on clouds.

I looked around for Hannah. Instead someone else caught my eye, someone with beautiful, familiar bronze hair. The angel that saved me in my dreams came here. I blinked my eyes. Was she really making her way down the stairs? Or was it really just a figment of my imagination? She wore a beautiful black and white dress with rhinestones glittering like diamond facets shining brightly in sunlight. Completing the outfit with a simple, silver locket and a black mask hiding her identity from me. I found myself walking up the stairs to meet her halfway. She stared at me and I recognized her as my angel.

I took her hand and led her to the dance floor. We were dancing together, moving in perfect sync. Her eyes were hidden behind her mask but I knew that they were beautiful; the mask left her lips alone making me long for her kiss. I shifted the hair from her face to get a better view of those chocolate brown eyes, such a familiar colour to me. Silence we shared as we danced. Staring into each other's eyes as song after song played, we didn't say a word and yet somehow she knew exactly what I wanted to say. Hesitating, she reached up for a kiss. In that moment I forgot everything: my name, my dreams, my life. I didn't know myself anymore. Finally I broke the silence, "Who are you?" I asked reaching for her mask while taking mine off and revealing me identity.

"Kyle? I'm sorry I have to go," she said suddenly as she let go of my hand and held the hem of her ball gown and made her way back upstairs. Her voice was so beautiful, just like the voice of the girl who spoke in my dream. The angel. Mine.

And just like that she left me. I was too stunned to move and I idiotically watched her walk away. My heart was beating fast; I didn't know I could feel this way. For the first time I knew what love was, yet this feeling held such familiarity. As if I've met her before, as if I've loved her before. But why did she run away from me when she found out my identity? Perhaps she knows I'm engaged. I was interrupted by someone else and I put my mask back on.

"Kyle?" Is that you? I could barely recognize you behind that mask." Hannah stated.

Crap. I just let someone kiss me and I have a fiancé. Do I tell her? "I need to tell you something." I blurted out.

"Not tonight. I have to bid for Mr. Sullivan's condo in Hawaii. Didn't you say you wanted to go there for our honeymoon?" Hannah said walking off to the stage where the auction was taking place.

I was so confused between my feelings for her and my feelings toward Hannah. Somehow what I felt for Hannah didn't seem like much, it didn't feel like love. But towards her, it felt different. It was like she became the center of my gravity and it took one dance for her to get this hold on me. A love that was so simple, so sad and yet beautiful. It was simple because it took one look at her to fall in love, sad because I don't know who she is, beautiful because I got to know love.

Who was that girl? I obviously knew her before the accident, she must have been one of my personal friends but I couldn't find my angel out of those photos Hannah provided me to regain my memory. It's as if she didn't exist. What if that dance was all but a dream? But it seemed so real, so perfect. She was perfect. But I lost my chance with her. Who could she be? There were 300 people invited to this party. How am I ever supposed to find her if she doesn't reveal herself to me?

I opened my hand and saw what she left with me. What seemed like a piece of paper but I unfolded it to reveal a photo, of me. It was me, wearing a blue shirt standing with a young girl at a beach. Who was the young girl in the photo? Who was the girl I danced with? What was she doing with my photo? She must know who I am. I really must have known who she is before I lost my memory. Out of all my contacts in my phone and photos all I see is people from the office. I don't even own a blue shirt like that and we live in the city. None of the photos Hannah has given me contains a portion of a beach. I feel as if I'm living a life not meant for me. How can it be that this girl knows me? Yet I don't know her at all. It read at the bottom, "Forever, I'll love you – Jake." Jake? Was this my twin or something? That's impossible, Hannah told me my family died in a car accident. How is this possible?


	37. Chapter 36

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Six: **Beats For Someone Else.

After spending the afternoon with Kyle and the kids I had to make an appearance at the charity masquerade that Hannah was hosting tonight. I wore a black and white dress. It was strapless, white at the top with a black sash and a white skirt. Over the skirt was a gauzy layer of fabric that was black, see through covering most of the white skirt. There were rhinestones attached to that black sheer layer.

I chose a black mask that complimented my black and white dress. I made my way down the huge stairs, but a stranger intercepted my tracks.

He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. His eyes were completely concealed by his silver mask. A complete stranger, who just didn't seem like a stranger. I felt, as if I knew him.

Without a word, we began dancing. We moved into the center of the dance floor. The clouds coming out of the smoke machine concealed us as if we were the only ones in the room. I was just staring into his eyes, as minutes seemed to pass so slowly. As if my mind were trying to savour every moment with him. This feeling seemed so comfortable. I struggled to remember my name. Renesmee. Renesmee Cullen. Without thinking I leaned up on my toes, he was really tall and my heels weren't enough and then I kissed him. I felt five seconds of pure joy, until I realised what I had done. I had never felt this way for anyone but Jake. This was wrong.

"Who are you?" the stranger asked as his hand reached for my mask. I pulled away and he unmasked his own face. It was Kyle. I just kissed someone who is engaged. I had to go. This wasn't right.

I couldn't feel this way for anyone but Jake. I had to leave. I had to get away before I fell deeper. I was betraying Jake, if I fall in love with someone else I would be giving up on him just like his sisters. How can I fall in love with someone who I basically a stranger? I don't know Kyle at all. And it took me what? A dance? To be in love? I will not believe that. Maybe it wasn't just the dance, but the way he handled the kids. Or maybe the fact that he looks exactly like Jake. I don't know.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," I told him letting go of his hand, his touch seemed so right. So meant to be. It made me feel the same way as what Jake's touch made me feel. This just made me more afraid, of what I felt. I knew that loving this person was wrong but why does it feel so right? Jake's my soul mate. There should be no one else who can make me feel this way. How is it that my heart can beat so fast for someone I don't even know that well?

My heart was beating so fast in shock. A feeling that was so familiar, so alike to my feelings for Jake. That scared me, that for the first time I felt this way towards someone else. That wasn't right. I'm in love with Jake. How can you be in love with two people at the same time? What's worse is that one of them is engaged. I can't tell Kyle it was me. How can I?

I got home and placed the mask on my bedside table. I forgot to return it but I'll just keep it as a memory of this night. I'll keep it as a memory of this stranger and a reminder that I can't get distracted from finding Jake.

I still had to see Kyle today at the orphanage again. It's going to be awkward for me cause I know, but what if he recognizes me? And I have to go to his engagement party tonight. So I'm spending the entire day with him.

The doorbell rang. It was only Kyle. He smiled, "Are you ready to go?" Don't look into his eyes or he might notice. Should I just shut up completely today? He could recognize my voice too. Gosh… I'm becoming paranoid.

I nodded and looked down. He probably noticed something was up. But Kyle opened the door anyway and didn't ask.

"So you were brought up in Forks." He broke the silence.

"Mmhm." I nodded. _How does he know this?_

He shook his hair. Damn this was awkward. "I've never been there."

It's funny how two people can look so alike; their personalities are so similar yet they live so far away and have completely different lives. Kyle was rich. Jake was not exactly poor but not rich.

"Renesmee." Kyle said waving his hands in front of me. "Renesmee!"

"Sorry. I was just daydreaming." I sighed. _If only I stayed by Jake that night. Then this never would have happened._

"It's okay." I think he sensed I was keeping my distance from him. He stopped staring and kept quiet.

The rest of the car ride was silent and awkward.

"Miss May-May!" the kids screamed as they completely surrounded me.

"Hey guys, miss me?" I laughed.

"Is Mr. Giant going to play with us today?" the kids asked.

"No, not today, he has some paperwork to finish." I explained.

"Actually," Kyle said, "I could put that aside for an hour or two. Let's play a game."

Damn. "I thought you were busy today." I mumbled.

"Well, Miss if you don't want me to play, you could just say so. But you're disappointing a whole lot of other kids by doing so." He feigned a smile.

He definitely knows something's up.

"Let's play hide and seek!" Amy yelled. "Yes let's play that." A bunch of kids agreed.

"Okay Mr. Giant's it!" Brandon screamed. "Run away!" the other kids yelled.

Seeing the other kids leave I had to run too. But Kyle grabbed my arm.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he confronted me.

"I'm not. I'm just playing hide and seek like the kids want." I said the first excuse I could think of.

"What about the car ride?" he continued, "You wouldn't look me in the eye, you barely spoke, I'm trying to think of what I did wrong. And I just can't seem to figure it out."

"I'm not avoiding you. I'm just…" I spaced out, "…thinking about your engagement party tonight. Hannah must be strung out. Well got to go hide. Bye!" I said quickly as he unknowingly let go of my arm and I ran off to hide; I turned around to see he was completely stunned. I didn't really give him time to process that.

I'm sorry. But you're just not him. And it's confusing. And you're probably confused. I know it's driving me crazy. I just want to see Jake. And then I won't be confused about Kyle anymore. And I won't mistake him for Jake ever again.

I wasn't sure what to wear for the engagement party, I didn't want to go, but it was compulsory for all company employees to attend to assist the bride-to-be, in case she needed people to boss around and take her stress out on. In that case I won't wear white in case Hannah wants to wear that. Or black cause it might be rude to go to a happy occasion wearing funeral colours. In that case I might just wear red. I decided to curl my hair with a curler because I hate my curls. It looked quite nice afterwards. I wore a ruby necklace around my neck and gold bangles on my wrists.

I was waiting for the spectacular entrance that the bride to be would make and she did look beautiful. But Hannah did not look happy to see me when she entered. She was wearing a red strapless ball gown. Her hair was pulled into a bun on top of her head and a crown was fitted around the bun. I realised why Hannah was giving me looks across the room. My dress was the exact same red as hers. So much for staying away from the attention.

Kyle was looking at me. Please stop. Hannah is noticing this. Now she looks mad again and now she's making her way over to me.

"Renesmee." She smiled with her piercing eyes. "Nice dress."

"Thank you." _Okay that was a stupid answer. I should take it off. Yes probably._

"We're short of waiters. Do you mind?" she shoved me into the kitchen. Wait. Does she want me to serve food tonight?

"I really have to g-" I started.

"Thanks so much." She shoved something into my arms. _Okay a uniform… it wasn't completely appauling. Just not something I would ever wear in a million years._

I wore the uniform and picked up the tray of chili prawn and fried dumplings and started to serve people. And it was really easy too, until she decided to step in and make my job a living hell.

"Renesmee! Don't you know that Mr. Henderson is allergic to shell fish?"

"Renesmee! You forgot to give them napkins."

"Renesmee! Mrs. Richards' plate has been empty for half an hour! That's not how you serve guests."

"Renesmee!" she shoved my into a CEO of an allying company, "Look you got food all over him. His suit looks expensive, how are you going to pay for that?"

Okay. That was totally her fault. "That's it!" I yelled, "I've had enough. You're just a huge bully who likes to boss people around because your life honestly sucks. Okay I admit I've been a really selfish and spoilt person, but you! Honestly, you're worse!" I swear she was egging me on. She fell to her knees as I stood up for myself.

"Miss Cullen do you want to get fired? My father is your bosses' boss. You really shouldn't piss me off." Hannah getting back up.

"No you really shouldn't piss me off! You have no idea what I'm capable of." Okay I just sound like a monster now.

How did Kyle fall for someone like that? I mean. Man she must have been hiding her hideous personality for a long time or Kyle was just an idiot. So what if I get fired. I need money but I'm not going to work for a company that fires you for standing up for what you believe in.


	38. Chapter 37

**Jacob's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: **Just For A Few Minutes, Can We Stay Like This?

I called a private investigator to search for my 'twin' in my angel's photo. Let's just say, I gained no information on who he is. All I know is that he looks like me and his name is Jacob. But the private investigator had found no one matching that photo named Jacob living in the United Kingdom. Who is this guy? How is he connected to the girl from last night? I need to know who she is, who Jacob is. Is he related to me somehow? Or are the Grahams lying to me? That my family isn't dead and I was adopted and somehow have an identical twin out there? I don't know.

Hannah made her grand entrance. But honestly I had my eyes on someone else. I needed an answer. All of a sudden Renesmee was avoiding me. It made no sense. We were getting along really fine yesterday with the kids. But today, she just kept her distance.

I was such a coward. Hannah was bossing her around when Renesmee stepped in as a waitress, but I kept my mouth shut. Why was Hannah acting so immature? It wasn't like her at all.

Suddenly Hannah pushed Renesmee into Mr. Lewis, CEO of Lewis Tech. an associate company of Graham Global. Mr. Lewis was an optimist and was not mad when he was covered with shrimp and chili.

"Renesmee!" she shoved my into a CEO of an allying company, "Look you got food all over him. His suit looks expensive, how are you going to pay for that?" Hannah said annoyingly.

I have to man up and tell Hannah to stop it. Instead Renesmee got up and walked to Hannah and in her own way told her to shove it. ""That's it!" Renesmee yelled, "I've had enough. You're just a huge bully who likes to boss people around because your life honestly sucks. Okay I admit I've been a really selfish and spoilt person, but you! Honestly, you're worse!"

Wow. I was blinking to see if I was daydreaming for a second and Hannah was completely stunned. I think everyone in the room was completely stunned.

And Hannah said the most childish thing I could think of as a response to that. "Miss Cullen do you want to get fired? My father is your bosses' boss. You really shouldn't piss me off."

"No you really shouldn't piss me off! You have no idea what I'm capable of."

That statement scared me.

"Are you threatening me? You!" Hannah raised her arm. And I didn't know why but I grabbed her wrist. Shit. It's my engagement party and I'm causing a scene. Hannah glared at me.

"That's enough. Stop." I said quietly as I let go of her. Hannah walked off stubbornly as

Hannah still looked very mad. Renesmee looked thrilled. She stood up for who she was. Something I wish I could do. She was so free to do exactly what she wanted. She says what she feels, which is something I never do and I admire that. But I think Renesmee was provoking Hannah by smiling so much because Hannah was not so pleased. Renesmee turned around and I could see what Hannah was planning. Is she crazy? Hannah knocked over the glass sculpture of us directly towards Renesmee; I dropped my drink and ran to shove Renesmee out of the way. I covered her ears as the glass shattered into a million pieces.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Renesmee must have been in shock but nodded. But her leg was bleeding. One of the shards must have cut her leg. I ripped a part of my shirt and bandaged her wound. She tried to get up but winced in pain. I lifted her onto my back and carried her.

"It was an accident." Hannah assured everyone.

"It takes a lot of force to knock over a statue made entirely of glass. If it weren't aimed directly at her, I might believe you. But I can't." I told her.

"Don't leave yet Kyle. The party's not over." Hannah said annoyed with me.

"If you're going to be like this the whole night, then I'm not going to stay."

"Kyle – "

"I'll be back tomorrow."

I sighed. Renesmee closed her eyes with her arms around my neck and was sleeping. Just what kind of girl are you? You're kind but selfish at times. You're vulnerable yet somehow strong. You're weak but really brave. Sometimes I just wonder. And you're all grown up yet somehow you're so innocent.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she whispered sleepily.

"I don't know." I stopped. Now that I think about it, why do I care so much? I would save anyone from being injured. But I don't think I would carry just anyone home. So why am I like this? Maybe its her innocence, something about her that I just feel the need to protect. I don't know there's just something about her that I don't quite understand. And she somehow amazes me with everything she does.

"You owe me two favours right?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"I'm asking one now. About being nice to me…" she started.

"Mhm."

"Don't." she finished.

_Don't be nice to you? Why?_

"It makes me confused. I don't want to be confused. It reminds me of his protective instincts…his everything." She answered the question I didn't ask.

A favour like that. Wouldn't that be easy to fulfill? Shouldn't I be happy? That she's not going to be a burden to me? What if I want that burden though? My heart suddenly felt heavy. I didn't know what to feel. She's not confused now but now I am.

I opened her apartment and placed her onto her bed.

Now I'm the one confused. I'm not sure if I even feel anything for Hannah. She's not the girl I used to know. Maybe it was just wedding stress. But between Renesmee and me, things were different. I wasn't sure what it was I felt for Renesmee. I need to know that it wasn't just a dream that night, that she's real.

Tucking Renesmee in, I noticed a mask on her bedside table. I recognized it immediately. It couldn't be. No. I placed the mask on her face.

_"Who are you?" I said when I unmasked herself._

_"I have to go." She told me when she found out who I was._

It made so much sense. Renesmee was that girl. I pulled Renesmee into a hug, how could I not recognize you?

"What are you doing?" Renesmee said, waking up to my embrace.

"Just for a few minutes. Just for a moment, can we stay like this?"


	39. Chapter 38

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: **Unfaithful.

A tear fell from my face, as I was in another man's arms. I keep forgetting that Jake isn't here. I don't even know if you're alive, but with Kyle, it's like you came to me in his presence. But it's not you. This isn't right.

"What are you to me?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're the girl from last night, and I can't stop thinking about you. You have to mean something to me because I feel as though we were meant to be. I feel as if I lo-" I cut him off.

"Stop. Don't say anything else. We are not meant to be. I'm already meant for someone else." I told him.

"Don't lie to me. Just tell me the truth. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feeling anything for me and I'll leave and marry Hannah."

I turned around, looked him in the eyes and told him the truth, "I'm in love with someone else." Although, it didn't answer the question he asked, I think it'll be enough to make him be with who he's supposed to be with, so I can leave peacefully.

"I'll go." He walked past me, but stopped and slipped something in my hand. I looked down to see the photo I had dropped last night, looking back at him one last time to hear his final words, "I hope you'll be very happy together. Goodbye Renesmee."

I smiled weakly as I remembered the words that Jacob would always leave me with in his cold tone of voice. "Goodbye Renesmee." Somehow I had become so used to hearing that phrase.

I couldn't work for him anymore. I would then write my letter of resignation. I've never written one under these circumstances before. I wasn't sure how to start. I had to go home, I needed most right now to be with family. I packed up everything and booked a flight for tomorrow at 10:00a.m.

And my last stop was to the company, where I left a note on my desk.

_I quit._

_Renesmee. _


	40. Chapter 39

**Jacob's Point Of View:**

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: **Walking Down The Aisle / Mrs. Hannah Chambers?

I don't know why, walking away from her was so painful. It didn't matter who I ended up with now. There is only one woman who is completely destined for you. Even though Renesmee doesn't think so, I feel it. Once you lose that person, all women are the same. So it doesn't matter if I marry Hannah, or the receptionist or the girl who works at the coffee shop in London.

"Kyle? Do you want the cake to be vanilla or chocolate?" Hannah asked me for the hundredth time.

"Anything's fine. You choose." I told her.

"Okay. Vanilla." Hannah smiled.

I was getting married within two months. Renesmee quit her job and I wasn't surprised because of what happened. She loves my lookalike who obviously doesn't exist in England. Whoever he was, I hope the two are doing well together.

_Wedding Bells… Two months later._

The big day had finally arrived. I could not be any worse. Marrying someone I wasn't sure of marrying. I thought I was sure about my decision to proceed with the wedding even though I practically don't know her anymore. She's not the girl I met in the hospital that day.

I was waiting for Hannah at the altar. Chatting with my best man, who I don't even know. Finally she came in her big dress. Hannah made her way down the aisle with her father.

The priest asked the big question, "Do you, Kyle, take Hannah Graham to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"

I looked at the audience, the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the ring-bearer – where was the ring bearer. I made an excuse to find him.

"Where are the rings?" I asked him.

"I'm looking for them now. Don't worry I'll find them in no time."

"No take your time." I rushed to find it.

I looked through Hannah's jewelry box and laid my eyes on something else. A locket. Just like the one Renesmee wore. It had a picture of Renesmee and me. I opened it, _"Jake, you're the most important person to me in the world. I know I've been a terrible person to you but I promise you I'm trying. I really am. I love you. Why? Maybe it's because I love everything about you. I wanna be the person who makes you feel better, be that person who you think of first thing in the morning and the person that when you think of them, you think the life couldn't be the same without them. You're exactly that person to me. I love you Jacob Black – Nessie."_

"Kyle what's taking you so long?" Hannah came in fixing her earrings.

I held up the locket, "You hid this from me didn't you?"

"Listen."

"No. You knew all along who Renesmee was and you kept it from me. You knew exactly how much she means to me and you chose not to tell me. You and your family lied to me since day one and you're asking me to listen."

"You would leave me!" she yelled.

"Yes, I would leave you. Because we're not right for each other. I'm sure there's someone out there who's just as right for you as Renesmee is right for me."

"Please. I don't want anyone else. Don't leave Kyle." She said as she fell the ground in her white dress.

"My name's not Kyle – it's Jacob." I said as I realised it myself.

I needed to find her. I had to – because the person she was looking for if me. How could I ever forget her? How could she not recognize me?


	41. Chapter 40

**Renesmee's Point Of View**

**Chapter Forty: **Change.

I watched as my mum and dad danced together in the living room like they used to when I was a kid. My mum was still as clumsy as ever yet it still looked beautiful because the way they looked at each other, was the way that I wanted to be looked at.

But then again, there was that one person who had always looked at me like that, since day one. I was just too careless with his love. So I lost it. And yeah it's mostly my fault. But he kept running away from me, and is still somewhere out there running from me.

Why can't it have been like this? Just a love like mum and dad's. A love that's just like a fairytale.

"Nessie I know you love pizza so I ordered one. Meatlovers right?" Aunt Alice asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you only order one? Did you forget how much she eats?" Emmett chuckled.

Rosalie glared at him, with the "she's not in the mood for jokes" look.

"Someone's coming! I'll get the pizza!" Aunt Alice chimed.

She came back and my dad tensed. "Well it wasn't the pizza guy." She said.

Instead it was Kyle. I didn't understand.

"I thought you got married yesterday."

"I didn't go through with it. But I sat a pretty long flight all night to come to see you so the least you can do is give me a chance to talk."

"Let's go outside." I sighed.

We took a long walk into the forest.

"I told you before that I'm in love with someone else."

"But you didn't say you didn't love me."

"What?"

"That day I asked you if you had feelings for me. But you said you were in love with someone else you didn't say you didn't love me." He explained.

"I love Jake."

"Why can't I love you?" he asked.

The only reason I could think of was because, "Because you're not him."

Why was he smiling at this? I turned around and started walking up the mountain.

"Once upon a time, this reckless idiot fell in love with a beautiful girl he called Nessie. She was dating some jerk that didn't appreciate her enough, things happened and the idiot ran away…"

I stopped walking whereas he continued with the story.

"Something he does quite often. When he came back he found Nessie with another. So he left to become a celebrity, and with further complications he lost his memory."

I turned around to face the one I had been searching for all this time yet he was right in front of me.

"And now," Jake continued as he made his way up to where I was standing. "He's standing right before that girl, with feelings that never changed for all these years, asking her to love him too."

I wasn't even sure how to react. I never once thought that Jake left me because of a medical condition. He took out his locket and wore it to match mine and asked me again. "So tell me then, why can't I love you?"

"I've finally found you," I sighed and I hugged him. Now I know he's safe. I gave him a punch to the stomach and scolded him, "The next time you run away from me, you better pray I don't find you, because if I did, you'd be dead.

"You haven't changed. Still violent." Jake teased me.

"Shut up Jake. For your information the last guy I beat up was Daniel so that's what 10 years?"

"But you just punched me. And it hurt."

"That's because I'm technically stronger than you, weak, fragile human."

"About that – "

"You shouldn't have hid it from me. I don't care if you get old."

"Wait let me finish!" he paused for a moment, "I think that I'll become a vampire."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Sure. The pack would understand my reasons. So would Billy and my sisters. But after we have kids." He cleared his throat and blushed suddenly.

"You want kids?" I smiled.

"Of course Renesmee. And after we get married." He hesitated and scratched his head awkwardly. "t's really hot," he started fanning himself and I kissed him. Embarrassed Jake is too cute. I smiled, and he smiled back.

I guess it would have been nice if I just married Jake ten years ago, but he would have married a selfish person, I think we needed that, all those events, to find out who we are without each other. Before we find out who we are together. But I'm happy. No more feeling paranoid about the other person because we know now, exactly how the other person feels.

And just like this we begun our happily ever after.


End file.
